BleuBird Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Hello Everyone! So I was dating someone LDR for about 10 months. I met him while I was on holiday in his country. He is 30 and I am 23. We were in contact every single day since we met via text and I went back to his country twice to stay with him (He didn't visit me in my country but there were reasons and that is a long story). Things were really confusing for me because we were never exclusive but he treated me like his girlfriend. He introduced me to his family and friends and was really affectionate with me around them and in public. He has always been thoughtful and done really sweet things for me but after my second visit to him we became closer than ever. Our communication was better, we were talking for hours everyday and things felt great. At one point I was going through a really tough time and he was so supportive. He made me really happy. BUT! A few days ago (after dating for about 10 month) I finally decided to tell him that a casual relationship wasn't enough for me any more, that I wanted to be in an exclusive relationship and if that's not what he wanted then we should go our separate ways. It didn't go well. He said he didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone but if he did then he would want it to be with me!?! He said I deserve to be with someone good, that I was a good girl and he really likes me. I was heart broken but I accepted what he said and basically told him goodbye (in a forever kind of way) But then he started to panic a little and asked me if I really meant goodbye forever and not to delete his number or anything and that we could still speak once in a while. That maybe we could meet up in the future in my home town and go for coffee! He said he didn't think it was right for me to just pretend he was dead. And when I said I think no contact is best he got a little pissed and pretty much said 'I can't beg you so do whatever you want'. Then he said he was stupid because he is 30 and doesn't want to be in a relationship ... ? I don't know what to do here. Do I cut off all contact? Or do I try to be his friend? He has a tough job and I know he is going through a lot of stress and maybe even depression because of his work. He has confided in me a few times about it. I just don't know what to do. He hasn't really done anything wrong but I am still hurting. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 There's no reason to cut off all contact if that is not what you want to do but you do have to reset your mind -- he's your friend not your BF. Go out & date other people & don't do romantic things with him. If being around him just makes you long for what you can't have -- an exclusive relationship -- for your own emotional well-being NC would be best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BleuBird Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 Thank you for taking the time to reply. Your input really helps! Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 What's his job exactly? It seems like that plays a role in the whole situation, but I'm not sure if it makes sense, and I'd want to know for good measure. Anyway, I guess it was your fault, because you settled for something that was not for you: FWB. Now be strong, and show him that he's going to lose something good. Don't follow his logic, don't accept his crap. Go full NC. Should he call you after a while, if you're still interested, be very lively on the phone, like contageously happy, and ask him if he changed his mind. If he didn't, just quietly say that you're not interested in keeping up with him anymore, and that he should devote his time to more useful things. Link to post Share on other sites
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