What should I do?

[Ronny]

Is it possible to have a strong relationship, and have passion burning, when there is no sex in a relationship?

 

I met my girl 10 months ago, and we had a great relationship for 4 months, then we decided to have sex, but it only worked for few weeks. I got a job, she has school full time. So we really do not have time to be very intimate with each other. Sex happens maybe once in 3 or 4 weeks.

 

So, I have been noticing, we are not very passionate towards each other, and I attribute this to lack of sex.

 

So my question is - is it because the lack of sex, or the tie and bond that we had faded away for some other reason?

 

Is it still possible under these circumstances to maintain a strong relationship?

 

I mean I love her, and I know that if things are not going right now, time will come, and we can rekindle passion again. But she keeps saying to me that we don't go together, and it is not working out. So I really just don't know what she means by that. Is it because she does not get sex often and lost interest in me?

 

In other aspects, I treat her like queen. I just can not believe that she is turning her back to me just because we have had sex only like 10 or 12 times over the past 6 months.

 

Are girls that shallow? I a guy, and I am not like that, and what is wrong with her. She is practically asking for a break up, She can not say it directly, but, when I ask her, if she wants me to leave her alone, she replies -- "IT's UP TO YOU RON!"

 

this particualar statment aggravates me so much, it tells me that if I just turn away and leave, she will not care much!

 

SO, when a girl answers the question by saying those words, does she mean that she is not interested in me any more?

 

Why can't she just tell me "RON

[unnamed]

Is it possible to have a strong relationship,

and have passion burning, when there is no sex in a relationship? I met my girl 10 months ago, and we had a great relationship for 4 months, then we decided to have sex, but it only worked for few weeks. I got a job, she has school full time. So we really do not have time to be very intimate with each other. Sex happens maybe once in 3 or 4 weeks.

Very possible, Ron. No sex just means working on other aspects of a relationship, and since you're simply dating, sex is not neccessary. It should not be a vital component to anyone in a relationship, and if it is, then sadly, that person fails to realize the good in their partner. Although its accepted to 'want' sex, perceiving it as vital or essential should not be tolerated.

So, I have been noticing, we are not very passionate towards each other, and I attribute this to lack of sex. So my question is - is it because the lack of sex, or the tie and bond that we had faded away for some other reason? Is it still possible under these circumstances to maintain a strong relationship?

Sex should, by no means, deteriorate the passion between two people. If that's the only medium in which you transfer passion, then you both have a problem. And, most likely, your relationship will not work.

 

Again, its possible to maintain passion without sex.

 

What do you consider a strong relationship? It seems that sex is part of the 'foundation' of your relationship. That's some thin ice...

I mean I love her, and I know that if things are not going right now, time will come, and we can rekindle passion again. But she keeps saying to me that we don't go together, and it is not working out. So I really just don't know what she means by that. Is it because she does not get sex often and lost interest in me?

Perhaps your girlfriend takes a deep liking to sex, and feels 'loved' when you to have sex. Perhaps you're not showing her affection outside of sex, and the only time she does feel needed and cared for is during sex. Its a possibility. Talk to her!

 

But, to lose interest in someone for not having sex with them is foolish, but it happens everyday. If you two don't go together, then don't hold her back.

In other aspects, I treat her like queen. I just can not believe that she is turning her back to me just because we have had sex only like 10 or 12 times over the past 6 months.

Ron, there must be other reasons. Have you talked to her about this? I doubt that sex is the only cause here.

Are girls that shallow? I a guy, and I am not like that, and what is wrong with her. She is practically asking for a break up, She can not say it directly, but, when I ask her, if she wants me to leave her alone, she replies -- "IT's UP TO YOU RON!"

Well, it is up to you. Obviously she is unwilling to take a break from you, probably in fear of how you would react. Listen man. Let her leave you, give her the opportunity. If she takes it and doesn't come back, odds are you two weren't meant to be. If she takes and comes back within hours or days, you two just have some problems and need to work through them.

this particualar statment aggravates me so much, it tells me that if I just turn away and leave, she will not care much! SO, when a girl answers the question by saying those words, does she mean that she is not interested in me any more? Why can't she just tell me "RON