It's 3am and can't stop crying

[martaldn]

Oh I'm sorry you cannot message me. I'm not sure I can post that info publicly...anyone knows?

 

sorry for the off topic.

 

there is absolutely no way to know who is checking your Facebook.

If you mean this trick here

is just BS.

the codes you see there are linked to the chat ( hence it shows you whoever you had a chat with not even chronological order )

i have done several attempt and i am pretty sure it doesnt show you the reality.

if you know something else then good for you but I am not sure that scooping his Facebook or checking on him if he checks on you ( ) is a healthy way to move on. After 2 years you seem to be quite far away from be over him ..

[David87]

Youre right Marta, those are codes for persons in your messenger list. The first one is the person that you chat most often with or if you dont talk to that person it means you or him is checking each others profiles.

[martaldn]

im not sure about the last part David. as far as I know there is not way to know who is checking your Facebook page. For privacy reason.

[David87]

I think its better that way, because some people might go crazy over this issue. Better block and forget about your ex

[irresolute]

Nothing to do with the chat. I can tell you whether a person have been visiting your profile or not. Just that. It's based on statistics and some requisites are needed.

 

I don't want to create trouble here so let's forget about this facebook thing. The last thing I need now is to create trouble in this topic.

[irresolute]

Natsu:

 

I appreciate your words. There are true.

Nothing I can do will change him. Nothing. I need to repeat this over and over because I don't understand it.

 

He's really hot and succesful with women. He wants someone: he gets that someone.

 

I can't block him again. I've tried so many times... I'm just trying to continue with my life. After he liked my pic, that same day I changed my status to single on facebook. He then visited my profile later that day and since then he's disappeared from Facebook and from the dating site we both visit (not adult friend finder. It's another). It's been 4 days.

 

I've continued posting things on my Facebook page. I just want to move on. It's gonna be 4 months since i last seen him. Wow time flies actually.

[Natsu21]

Natsu:

 

I appreciate your words. There are true.

Nothing I can do will change him. Nothing. I need to repeat this over and over because I don't understand it.

 

He's really hot and succesful with women. He wants someone: he gets that someone.

 

I can't block him again. I've tried so many times... I'm just trying to continue with my life. After he liked my pic, that same day I changed my status to single on facebook. He then visited my profile later that day and since then he's disappeared from Facebook and from the dating site we both visit (not adult friend finder. It's another). It's been 4 days.

 

I've continued posting things on my Facebook page. I just want to move on. It's gonna be 4 months since i last seen him. Wow time flies actually.

 

 

It took me 8 months to get over my ex gf. I did everything that you're doing, including stalk her facebook, hoping to find a reason to talk to her. She had cheated on me and got with her co-worker. I had accepted her offer of being friends but after a while, I realized I didn't mean **** to her. She told me we could be friends after she moves out of her house. I took her seriously, till one day I realized she told me to get out of her life for good, because she was happy with her new man.

 

It hurts. And trust me, logic will not work. You have to force yourself everyday not to go back, because you felt defeated, used, thrown away.

 

It's okay to feel that way, irresolute. But remember, going back to him will only make the pain worse.

 

You will feel that happiness. Maybe not now, and maybe not for a while, but the sooner you fight these nostalgic feelings and treat it like an addiction, the healthier you'll feel.

 

Hang in there. Keep reminding yourself. And if you feel weak and slip up, you can always start over. We have veterans here who know three things.

 

1. We all wanna feel special. To be the "one" that he or she picks out of the rest. When we aren't picked...it hurts our ego, our very self-esteem takes a major hit.

 

2. Once someone we view as higher than us rejects us, it hurts us even more.

 

3. We fail to realize that when we all die, we're all equal.

 

You got a friend in me, irresolute. Please hang in there cause it's going to hurt. But I was in your shoes and it was a kind of pain that I didn't ever expect to face.

[OffRail]

Natsu:

 

I appreciate your words. There are true.

Nothing I can do will change him. Nothing. I need to repeat this over and over because I don't understand it.

 

He's really hot and succesful with women. He wants someone: he gets that someone.

 

I can't block him again. I've tried so many times... I'm just trying to continue with my life. After he liked my pic, that same day I changed my status to single on facebook. He then visited my profile later that day and since then he's disappeared from Facebook and from the dating site we both visit (not adult friend finder. It's another). It's been 4 days.

 

I've continued posting things on my Facebook page. I just want to move on. It's gonna be 4 months since i last seen him. Wow time flies actually.

 

Is this guy married ? I am just curious, not being judgmental at all.

 

BTW, what do you mean by "he disappeared from Facebook". Did he delete his account or block you ? Are you sure about this ? And when you say he disappeared from the dating site you visit, do you mean he removed his profile from there, too ? Is he with someone else now ? Something doesn't add up here.

 

You are a fine looking woman, irresolute, and I say that as another woman, and despite our differences in a previous thread. There is NO need for you to think that this is the end of the world. I am going through the same crap right now, and beginning to finally see just what an ass clown my ex-friend was / is. And it has only been a week since HE went MIA / implemented involuntary NC on me again. I am sure that I will be over him in another month or so and I hope that you can get some peace. I don't know what your marital situation is, but I hope that resolves well, too.

Edited August 27, 2014 by OffRail

[Natsu21]

Natsu:

 

I appreciate your words. There are true.

Nothing I can do will change him. Nothing. I need to repeat this over and over because I don't understand it.

 

He's really hot and succesful with women. He wants someone: he gets that someone.

 

I can't block him again. I've tried so many times... I'm just trying to continue with my life. After he liked my pic, that same day I changed my status to single on facebook. He then visited my profile later that day and since then he's disappeared from Facebook and from the dating site we both visit (not adult friend finder. It's another). It's been 4 days.

 

I've continued posting things on my Facebook page. I just want to move on. It's gonna be 4 months since i last seen him. Wow time flies actually.

 

Of course you don't understand it. All you see is "Why was I not good enough for you?" Irresolute, meet your ego. Think about this.

 

You were working on a big science project...you spent months pouring your heart and soul into your experiments, theories, etc. And then you present your findings, only to get a big, fat F! on your project while a person you view didn't work as hard gets the big A! You're going to be CRUSHED!

 

Relationships are no different. If you put the work in and get "nexted" you're gonna want to know, and even try to change their mind, as to why you were nexted. Because you put it so much work and pride yourself in said work, you don't understand what went wrong. And because you're beside yourself, you'll do whatever it takes to make that rejected feeling go away.

 

Even if it means killing your pride and throwing away logic. Don't forget the elephant in the room. You're a gorgeous girl, you must get hit on all the time, if you get something all the time you don't appreciate it as much, so when that ONE guy rejects you, that resource is diminished and you do whatever it takes to get it back.

 

Like air. We all take it for granted till we're left without it. Things aren't valued if you can have it all the time. So when Mr. "Perfect" pushed you to the side, it was like all the air was suddenly sucked out.

 

Understand that your logic won't work. Accept that you're going by emotions and that's what you got to fight against. I still fight it on occasion, but most of the time, I don't even think about it.

 

Instead, I look forward to what the future may bring. I'm young and new experiences are just around the corner!

 

Good luck.

 

Natsu21.

[SoThatHappened]

You're a gorgeous girl, you must get hit on all the time, if you get something all the time you don't appreciate it as much, so when that ONE guy rejects you, that resource is diminished and you do whatever it takes to get it back.

This. Also what drives me crazy about us humans.

 

I'm guilty of it too. Not used to being rejected, but was the least interested party until I got rejected. That's the hardest part I think.

[ExpatInItaly]

Natsu:

 

I appreciate your words. There are true.

Nothing I can do will change him. Nothing. I need to repeat this over and over because I don't understand it.

 

He's really hot and succesful with women. He wants someone: he gets that someone.

 

I can't block him again. I've tried so many times... I'm just trying to continue with my life. After he liked my pic, that same day I changed my status to single on facebook. He then visited my profile later that day and since then he's disappeared from Facebook and from the dating site we both visit (not adult friend finder. It's another). It's been 4 days.

 

I've continued posting things on my Facebook page. I just want to move on. It's gonna be 4 months since i last seen him. Wow time flies actually.

 

Why not? Of course you can. You're just not ready to really let him go.

[irresolute]

Is this guy married ? I am just curious, not being judgmental at all.

 

BTW, what do you mean by "he disappeared from Facebook". Did he delete his account or block you ? Are you sure about this ? And when you say he disappeared from the dating site you visit, do you mean he removed his profile from there, too ? Is he with someone else now ? Something doesn't add up here.

 

You are a fine looking woman, irresolute, and I say that as another woman, and despite our differences in a previous thread. There is NO need for you to think that this is the end of the world. I am going through the same crap right now, and beginning to finally see just what an ass clown my ex-friend was / is. And it has only been a week since HE went MIA / implemented involuntary NC on me again. I am sure that I will be over him in another month or so and I hope that you can get some peace. I don't know what your marital situation is, but I hope that resolves well, too.

 

 

Not married. He's single. It's been 4 days since he last went online on facebook messenger. I'm still his friend. Not sure if he blocked me though. How could I know? I can still visit his profile.

And it's been 4 days since he last visited the dating site. His profile is still there. Offline.

Yes, he's always seeing someone. Various women at the same time when possible. He added this woman he met on adult friend finder on facebook last month and they posted a picture together kissing. So yeah maybe he fell in love after all. Weird thing he's not online on facebook. Maybe they are texting non stop. Who knows.

 

I'm having a rough time tight now

[Simon Phoenix]

Not married. He's single. It's been 4 days since he last went online on facebook messenger. I'm still his friend. Not sure if he blocked me though. How could I know? I can still visit his profile.

And it's been 4 days since he last visited the dating site. His profile is still there. Offline.

Yes, he's always seeing someone. Various women at the same time when possible. He added this woman he met on adult friend finder on facebook last month and they posted a picture together kissing. So yeah maybe he fell in love after all. Weird thing he's not online on facebook. Maybe they are texting non stop. Who knows.

 

I'm having a rough time tight now

 

If he blocked you, you couldn't visit his profile or see anything regarding him. It'd be like he didn't have a Facebook account. And the fact that you are keeping detailed tabs on what he's doing isn't healthy and more reason why you need to block him.

[OffRail]

Not married. He's single. It's been 4 days since he last went online on facebook messenger. I'm still his friend. Not sure if he blocked me though. How could I know? I can still visit his profile.

And it's been 4 days since he last visited the dating site. His profile is still there. Offline.

Yes, he's always seeing someone. Various women at the same time when possible. He added this woman he met on adult friend finder on facebook last month and they posted a picture together kissing. So yeah maybe he fell in love after all. Weird thing he's not online on facebook. Maybe they are texting non stop. Who knows.

 

I'm having a rough time tight now

 

Honestly, he sounds like a womanizer to me. He's always seeing someone and various women at the same time when possible ? An opportunistic sex addict comes to mind.

 

Let's say for a minute that you and he did become a couple. Do you really think that he will suddenly turn into a monogamist for you ? Is he going to be faithful to you ? I have a feeling that he does not want to be tied down and may even be commitment-phobic (which explains the "seeing multiple women at the same time" part). Exactly what it is that you are seeking from this guy that you think that you can't get from anyone else ?

[irresolute]

Yes, he probably is. I could count around 20 women or more in this 2 years. I was one of them. He always have someone, two or three.

 

Just make this equation: handsome guy+nice and sweet+always telling the story about his bitchy ex+ 5 different dating sites he daily visits= women and more women.

 

He has several exes on Facebook. Plus new friends he adds all the time. He has friends on Adult Friend finder, POF, Ashley Madison, Meetme, Fling....and who knows where else.

 

And eh always told me he had feelings for me. I don't honestly understand how he made time to reply to my texts. And we texted all the time when we were "together". He cancelled on me. Yes. He lied to me. I suppose, yes.

 

Feeling really sad tonight. It's been 4 months since I last seen him, since I last kissed him...but still, still heartbroken.

[OffRail]

Yes, he probably is. I could count around 20 women or more in this 2 years. I was one of them. He always have someone, two or three.

 

Just make this equation: handsome guy+nice and sweet+always telling the story about his bitchy ex+ 5 different dating sites he daily visits= women and more women.

 

He has several exes on Facebook. Plus new friends he adds all the time. He has friends on Adult Friend finder, POF, Ashley Madison, Meetme, Fling....and who knows where else.

 

And eh always told me he had feelings for me. I don't honestly understand how he made time to reply to my texts. And we texted all the time when we were "together". He cancelled on me. Yes. He lied to me. I suppose, yes.

 

Feeling really sad tonight. It's been 4 months since I last seen him, since I last kissed him...but still, still heartbroken.

 

 

I am not familiar with any of those sites but I do know about Ashley Madison because my cousin's husband cheated on her using that website. Isn't that a site for married people looking for affairs ? If he is single, what is he doing there ? Looking for married women ? Hey, this guy is scum. I am sorry to be so blunt, but if he is looking for married women, then he is looking for sex, not commitment.

 

Plus, does he have a job ? If so, how does he have time to text all the time, that too multiple women ? And if he has a bunch of women on his FB, then doesn't everyone see that as a red flag ? Is he really such a prized catch that women are vying all over for his attention and to get together with him ?

 

I am sorry, irresolute, you deserve better. I am going to tell you the same thing you told me a while ago (and which you were right about) : game over, sweetie, move on. You DESERVE BETTER !!!!!

 

Hang in there. This, too, will pass.

[Requiem4Dreams]

Yes, he probably is. I could count around 20 women or more in this 2 years. I was one of them. He always have someone, two or three.

 

Just make this equation: handsome guy+nice and sweet+always telling the story about his bitchy ex+ 5 different dating sites he daily visits= women and more women.

 

He has several exes on Facebook. Plus new friends he adds all the time. He has friends on Adult Friend finder, POF, Ashley Madison, Meetme, Fling....and who knows where else.

 

And eh always told me he had feelings for me. I don't honestly understand how he made time to reply to my texts. And we texted all the time when we were "together". He cancelled on me. Yes. He lied to me. I suppose, yes.

 

Feeling really sad tonight. It's been 4 months since I last seen him, since I last kissed him...but still, still heartbroken.

 

Just based on your observation of the type of person he is, and the conclusion you came to concerning him, I have to ask why are you obsessing so much over a guy who is basically trash? Do you feel you don't deserve better than that or something?

 

Your wasting too much energy with this, and him. Take back your power and move on.

[irresolute]

Just based on your observation of the type of person he is, and the conclusion you came to concerning him, I have to ask why are you obsessing so much over a guy who is basically trash? Do you feel you don't deserve better than that or something?

 

Your wasting too much energy with this, and him. Take back your power and move on.

 

I ask myself the same question. Over and over. something happened to me that I can't move on. blocking him or not blocking him, it's becoming an impossible task to continue with my life after John.

 

Something happened to me that I can't stop thinking about him. I guess I'm not the only one. women write him in Facebook to contact them, others comment on his pictures on dating sites, I guess some others text him, and even others call him...I don't know.

 

I can't wait the moment I'll be indifferent. Until that time, I'll survive.

[Requiem4Dreams]

I ask myself the same question. Over and over. something happened to me that I can't move on. blocking him or not blocking him, it's becoming an impossible task to continue with my life after John.

 

Something happened to me that I can't stop thinking about him. I guess I'm not the only one. women write him in Facebook to contact them, others comment on his pictures on dating sites, I guess some others text him, and even others call him...I don't know.

 

I can't wait the moment I'll be indifferent. Until that time, I'll survive.

 

I'd like to say that I have hope that one day you'll come to realize just what holding on to him is doing to yourself, and how it is limiting your potential. I have faith that when that day comes, you'll come to see your worth, and then nothing will stop you.

[lauri]

I ask myself the same question. Over and over. something happened to me that I can't move on. blocking him or not blocking him, it's becoming an impossible task to continue with my life after John.

 

Something happened to me that I can't stop thinking about him. I guess I'm not the only one. women write him in Facebook to contact them, others comment on his pictures on dating sites, I guess some others text him, and even others call him...I don't know.

 

I can't wait the moment I'll be indifferent. Until that time, I'll survive.

 

I know why you're obsessing over him...he's a challenge, he's got tons of girls chasing him and you feel rejected. So what that tons of girls are messaging and want him? Do you think any girl with self worth is going to end up wantintg to be with a guy like that? Stop paying attention to social media...for all you know all the girls messaging him look like trolls and just posted fake photos.

 

I understand that you feel burned, hurt and used. This is all normal and to be expected...but common, you are worth so much more than this loser. You deserve a guy who will drive you crazy in a good way, that will treat you with respect and you'd never worry about him being with other girls behind your back.

 

Stop giving him all this power...he doesn't deserve it. Be happy that things are done with this guy, bc he clearly isn't someone you'd want to raise a family with.

[Simon Phoenix]

I know why you're obsessing over him...he's a challenge, he's got tons of girls chasing him and you feel rejected. So what that tons of girls are messaging and want him? Do you think any girl with self worth is going to end up wantintg to be with a guy like that? Stop paying attention to social media...for all you know all the girls messaging him look like trolls and just posted fake photos.

 

I understand that you feel burned, hurt and used. This is all normal and to be expected...but common, you are worth so much more than this loser. You deserve a guy who will drive you crazy in a good way, that will treat you with respect and you'd never worry about him being with other girls behind your back.

 

Stop giving him all this power...he doesn't deserve it. Be happy that things are done with this guy, bc he clearly isn't someone you'd want to raise a family with.

 

This how guys like him rack in all the women. They create such a demand that women will lose their minds trying to be the one that "tames" the player to the point of lunacy. Which is exactly what's happening now with the OP. She wants to be the "winner", be the one to make this guy change. He's not, so she's losing it and looking for any excuse to keep the lifeline alive, henceforth refusing to block while keeping stats and tabs on what he's doing.

 

Hopefully she'll eventually tire of this and realize what a waste of her time it is, and hopefully that comes soon. But part of her still wants to compete for this guy while she is just another number to him.

[Natsu21]

This how guys like him rack in all the women. They create such a demand that women will lose their minds trying to be the one that "tames" the player to the point of lunacy. Which is exactly what's happening now with the OP. She wants to be the "winner", be the one to make this guy change. He's not, so she's losing it and looking for any excuse to keep the lifeline alive, henceforth refusing to block while keeping stats and tabs on what he's doing.

 

Hopefully she'll eventually tire of this and realize what a waste of her time it is, and hopefully that comes soon. But part of her still wants to compete for this guy while she is just another number to him.

 

THANK YOU! PUA'S DROOL OVER GIRLS LIKE her.

 

Trust me. I've done what this guy is doing to you, OP, and Imma tell you this, he has no intentions of settling down. Why should he? Too many options.

[Natsu21]

I know why you're obsessing over him...he's a challenge, he's got tons of girls chasing him and you feel rejected. So what that tons of girls are messaging and want him? Do you think any girl with self worth is going to end up wantintg to be with a guy like that? Stop paying attention to social media...for all you know all the girls messaging him look like trolls and just posted fake photos.

 

I understand that you feel burned, hurt and used. This is all normal and to be expected...but common, you are worth so much more than this loser. You deserve a guy who will drive you crazy in a good way, that will treat you with respect and you'd never worry about him being with other girls behind your back.

 

Stop giving him all this power...he doesn't deserve it. Be happy that things are done with this guy, bc he clearly isn't someone you'd want to raise a family with.

 

Imma be honest with my opinion. I just looked at a few of her pictures.

 

If a person's poses during pictures are an indication of her character, here's what I found. She has one picture of her in a bathing suit and glasses with a duckface...one with a basic mirror selfie, and one where she's in the car, duckface again. On the general attractiveness scale, she's very high.

 

Generally speaking, girls like this fall for the musclehead charmers who can pull tail simply due to their looks and their attitude.

 

She also looks like she's pretty and she knows it. I think, in all honesty, her ego is shot because she finds out there's ONE guy who doesn't think she's all that.

 

Sorry to say, you're telling her that she needs to find a man that'll drive her crazy that'll love and respect her, but I seriously doubt it.

 

She'll grow bored of him in an instant due to the sheer amount of attention she already gets.

 

This is a classic case of a girl liking the bad boys. She'll either learn from this and figure out why she responds so much to this challenge or continue a pattern of this behavior. If the latter, at least here guys will know to avoid her.

[OffRail]

Imma be honest with my opinion. I just looked at a few of her pictures.

 

If a person's poses during pictures are an indication of her character, here's what I found. She has one picture of her in a bathing suit and glasses with a duckface...one with a basic mirror selfie, and one where she's in the car, duckface again. On the general attractiveness scale, she's very high.

 

Generally speaking, girls like this fall for the musclehead charmers who can pull tail simply due to their looks and their attitude.

 

She also looks like she's pretty and she knows it. I think, in all honesty, her ego is shot because she finds out there's ONE guy who doesn't think she's all that.

 

Sorry to say, you're telling her that she needs to find a man that'll drive her crazy that'll love and respect her, but I seriously doubt it.

 

She'll grow bored of him in an instant due to the sheer amount of attention she already gets.

 

This is a classic case of a girl liking the bad boys. She'll either learn from this and figure out why she responds so much to this challenge or continue a pattern of this behavior. If the latter, at least here guys will know to avoid her.

 

What does duckface mean ?

 

I agree that this is probably the case of an attractive woman falling for an unavailable guy. But it isn't just lovely women who do this. Even average looking women will fall for the unavailable guy - I did ! Mine isn't a bad boy womanizing with multiple women at the same time but he was / is someone who messed with my head and knew what he was doing.

 

As for the men here needing to avoid her - LOL !! This is a relationship advise forum, not a dating site, :D, so why would anyone care to analyze anyone else's personality here ?

[Natsu21]

What does duckface mean ?

 

I agree that this is probably the case of an attractive woman falling for an unavailable guy. But it isn't just lovely women who do this. Even average looking women will fall for the unavailable guy - I did ! Mine isn't a bad boy womanizing with multiple women at the same time but he was / is someone who messed with my head and knew what he was doing.

 

As for the men here needing to avoid her - LOL !! This is a relationship advise forum, not a dating site, :D, so why would anyone care to analyze anyone else's personality here ?

 

Sorry, didn't have my coffee, got a little cranky.

 

Anyway, "duckface" is a popular internet term for a woman who poses with her lips poking out as if she was kissing.

 

I was just saying that logic is pointless here, attractive women in general are usually the ones that fall for extremely handsome unavailable guys.

 

Heck, I've been an unavailable guy more times than I can count(I recently stopped, after a while it stops being fun)

 

She's going to learn the hard way: getting hurt enough. Too bad by the time that happens, when the right guy comes along, he'll get a lot of pain thrown his way.