what you wish?

[sisa]

As the OW or OM, what you wish your life will be in the end.

 

Honestly, when I ask myself this question, I wish I can find a man who treat me with love and respect and willing to give me commitment in the end. This man no need to be exactly MM, he can be others.

 

I am 34 now, with this MM two years, during this period I break up with my boyfriend in the very beginning becasue I thought this MM is the one. He treat me good in this two years (If he is not married then I can say he is a nearly perfect boyfriend) and It's the reason I can't leave him immediately when I found out he is not going to marry me.

 

He made me feel I am so attractive and nice woman that he want. But seeing the reality, I am not young and not that attractive as he mension. I don't think I can find someone like him, he is attractive and exactly my type. Sometimes, I also think why he treat me so nice is because he know he cannot give me the normal relatinoship, so he treat me so good in other parts to keep me. Sometimes I think if he is single, he might not love me and treat me so good becasue he will have many options.

 

It's hard to move on becasue I don't think I can find someone that I love so much in future, I really afraid I will always feel there is a loss even if I get married in the end. But I wish I won't and I can forget him.

[ConfusedMarriedOW]

How sad you are suffering from the low self esteem that an affair causes.

 

You are idolizing an "attractive" man who has a wife and OOM and assuming that you couldn't do so well in the real world because he was so nice to you.

 

Okay, so here is the reality, 34 IS young. People who are this age generally don't look all that different than 20 year olds, also being treated so perfectly? Well...I don't know what he did for you, but real, non manipulative men aren't so perfect, it's true. They will treat you kindly, but it won't be roses constantly. Because real life is not that way.

 

Hopefully you can do something to take care of yourself to help raise your plummeting self perception (caused by the affair!!)

 

You cannot compare your future partners to him, they will always seem less wonderful because the way he was was not reality. He apparently was a player and knew exactly what to say. My xMM was this way too.