Phase where you just want to be left alone?

[HumptyDumpty]

Hey

 

At the moment I have a phase where I just want to be left alone and do my things alone! I do have friends that bug me to go out with other friends, or even when it's just them and me... I can't be bothered! When I get a text, I agree, and then I regret I did! The day come, we do have a good time, but it justs tires me, it really does! And, there are times where I'm bored to hell and where people just get on my nerves, where it's just a waste of my time and I stop my efforts to make it somehow entertaining! Once, I agreed with a friend last summer to visit some village, the day after I had to go to the emergency since i really wasn't well all night and after, that kinda ruined the entire day for me!

 

The friends are nice, and it bothers me to either find ways out of their ideas or to really regret coming along?

 

Generally it's a phase where I can't be bothered to do anything at all and it's ok since I'm on holidays until September, and I do things but on my own, when I want it, where I want, and how I want it, although I prefer staying at home where it's fresh, comfortable and calm! Where I play games, watch movies or series or the world cup right now, where I learn my music instruments, learn for university or other things new and interesting, where I occupy myself with my pets, with books, cooking, music, new creative creations like jewelery, household stuff, etc etc Or, I go out, go alone to the beach where I swim all I like in the water or not, where I explore new places, or happily do my groceries!

I'm not depressed or anything, everything is going perfectly at the moment after finally passing my year at university which I had to redo sadly last september, and I'm funny and treating others with respect, I try my best to keep things entertaining but it tires me also!

As a child, when kids came around, I said my parents wouldn't allow me to go out, it wasn't true, just a lame excuse to make them go away I preferred playing alone inside my room, riding my bike to deserted places, video games, or other things

 

 

Maybe some experience on this from others who went through the same thing or still do? How to let others gently down or make the best of things? Search for new friends that perfectly suit my lifestyle or interests (doing nothing? haha), that it's maybe them and not me, where it just doesn't really fit? Force myself "for the best"? Or just continue doing things on my own?

 

I'm asking this since it does sorta bug me, my good friend already has her boyfriend his friends and family to pass her time which she enjoys, but she does contact me in order to see me again, and I don't want to hurt her by truthfully telling her to not get on my nerves especially with the other group lot which is friendly but pisses of

Anyways, thanks for reading :bunny:

Edited June 13, 2014 by HumptyDumpty

[learning_slowly]

Imagine if she stopped asking you! Humans are creatures that need company, don't push her away.

[gaius]

Five years ago I probably would have lied and pretended I was busy with something else, but I'm at the point where I just admit upfront I'm a bit anti-social sometimes. Maybe lightly goof on myself a little bit to make sure they know it's nothing to do with them. It's always hard to say no to someone who was sweet enough to go out of their way to try and include you in something.

[littleplanet]

Well OP,

 

You certainly don't "do" nothing!

 

A little story:

When I was in my mid-twenties (college age and just after) I used to wind up in bars, pubs and clubs with friends...

I came to strong drink rather late in my youth - so this was supposed to be a catch-up with the joys of social drinking.

Well.

 

It didn't take me long to discover that in groups - the people I engaged in this activity with, could while away endless hours in endless laughs and jokes - that meant not a whole lot to me.

I realized I was the kind of person who preferred one-on-one conversations...about things that mattered (to both parties.)

And these kinds of conversations never happened in group situations.

So the solution was simple. Nix on the group situations and pick my social activity exclusive to what felt meaningful.

 

But also.....(and to this day) I am a loner by nature.

So much so that on a midnight walk down a deserted street I get pissed off to discover as much as one other pedestrian. I want the experience all for myself.

Yet I'm also gregarious by nature, too.

The trick is to preserve a balance. Which was long ago established.

 

Many people like to run in crowds, cliques, and flocks of similar plumage.

That is often the nature of the species.

 

If you're the kind of person who likes to prattle along to the beat of a different drum, then that is what you are.

Providing you don't become an anti-social hermit, it does you no harm at all.

 

Balance.......for all the moods that follow your own complexion, and spend time for and with the particular and specific quality of person you are (enjoying your own illustrious company).........and those other moods that call for a bit of human contact, of a meaningful sort.

The quality of that is usually dictated by how refreshed it makes you feel....unlike the tiresome and frustrated response to socialization that just doesn't fit.

 

You ultimately find your own comfort zone.

Either extreme is probably unhealthy.

 

Solitude can be a wondrous thing.

Other people can be fascinating, too.

The trick - is to dance both sides together without stepping on toes.

[SpiralOut]

I've always been this way. For me it's not just the people I'm with that tire me but also the atmosphere of the places we went to: loud, crowded places are exhausting.

 

Do you ever invite one or two friends over to bake or do crafts together? That could be a good compromise. Most of my friends growing up were into art, so we would sometimes hang out together drawing or painting. That would actually energize me, as opposed to a loud party which would stress me out and suck out all my energy.

[MoreCoffee]

Now that I'm older (42) I mostly feel this way. I'm alone but less lonely than I've ever been.