SarahJames Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 A few months ago I posted a thread. Ex-mm had contacted me and I was pondering whether or not to reply after months of NC. I ended up replying (of course). We started talking about how things are going, etc. We spoke about plans to see each other...now (about 2 months after resuming contact) I have the opportunity to see him, and I realized that is the LAST thing I want. For some, resuming NC is detrimental. For me, it was an eye-opener. Did I have feelings for this man? yes. Do I miss the sex? absolutely. Is the situation worth it? no way. I've realized that if I see him, he'll get his ego boost, he'll get sexual satisfaction, and he'll go back to the BS while I'm left hurt, used, and feeling dirty as before. The more I talked to him, the more I started to hate him. I no longer view him as some sort of prized possession. I no longer view him as someone with a great personality, great sense of humor, sexy physique, etc. I now view him as a manipulative, dishonorable, cheating, coward. How can you spend years with a person telling them you love them, sleeping next to them at night, and then going to have sex with someone else while returning home for the night and pretending like nothing happened? It's disgusting. I'm disgusted with myself for ever having been a part of it. I think I may have hit my head at some point to ever have allowed it to happen. Hopefully I read this if I ever get the "urge" to disappoint myself again... 7 Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 SJ, What a great post and hopefully other here will see and realize that breaking NC isn't always the happy ending they think it will be. I think it was very good for you to write this post as honestly as you did. You will come out of this so much healthier and happier than you realize now. Good for you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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