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Co-worker bought me a drink... Am I being too hopeful? I'm into him!


Jgirl24

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Eternal Sunshine

There are so many other things to do in this world than obsess over lame conversations with a married man. One day you will look back on this and see that.

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Coming soon: "He wore that tie that I told him I really like! HE MUST REALLY LIKE ME! Omglulzzzzzzzzzzz"

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This thread made me start to think about the things I say to people at work. According to your standards of flirting, I am hitting on the whole office.:)

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ExpatInItaly

Assuming this story is real...girl, you are seriously rusty on your dating and flirting skills. As in, cringe-worthy rusty.

 

Also, speaking from the point of view of someone who resides in Italy - calling an Italian Mussolini? Yikes. You just showed him how much knowledge and tact you lack.

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Assuming this story is real...girl, you are seriously rusty on your dating and flirting skills. As in, cringe-worthy rusty.

 

Also, speaking from the point of view of someone who resides in Italy - calling an Italian Mussolini? Yikes. You just showed him how much knowledge and tact you lack.

 

 

So glad she doesn't have a German boss.

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snowflakes88
Snowflake- Your post is laughable... Of course he's interested! That's no longer my question, I don't need anyone's opinion on that - I'm the one watching him (and being watched) every day. His attraction was never in question (of course it's there), it was his willingness to take it to the next level. He's been escalating things every day.

 

Sometimes I think this forum is the most negative place I've ever visited... But I won't let one or two bad apples spoil the bunch. :)

 

Girl, please. You are the ONLY person here who thinks he's interested. LOL.

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Wow, you guys are so negative! That's too bad.

 

So, new developments... I've been busy so no time to post. So a week ago I sent out an email inviting everyone to lunch because I wanted to try new recipes and asking people to let me know if they wanted to participate... He replied yes, in 3 minutes - he never has lunch with us!

 

On the day of, I sent an email saying it would be at 12:30"... He replied to me right away, saying "Will try.. Just got a conference call". Other people at his level didn't even reply at all, so the fact that he was trying to let me know was already good! I replied that it was too bad but I hoped he could make it. I made all Italian food. :)

 

So we start and he's not there... He comes in to grab someone else, I see he's busy... Then I get sad. But then he comes back and sits down, other ppl had already left! :) He looked tired... He sat down, ate... Raved about my food. Said "This is the best gnocchi I've had since..." Pause. "What my mom made..." I said "Wow! As good as your mom's?!" He was so appreciative and kept complimenting me. Later, he stopped by my office again to rave about the food. We had been joking about him bringing wine so I said he needs to bring it next time.

 

Then that night I check my work email. And almost passed out! There was this email from him - he copied my boss - and his! The CEO!

"Thank you does not do justice to your gesture and lunch for the staff. Your planning, preparation, kindness, and exquisite food brought a group of people together to take a minute, smile, laugh, and enjoy the lost time of being human (not just working). It was an amazing meal (best gnocchi since what mom made) but more importantly it took a great person to make something like that come together.

 

Again, thank you - I know that it was so very appreciated by all and you have started a new trend. Next month I have been inspired to cook."

 

I sent an appreciative note back, then we kept going back and forth, with him talking about the dishes he'd cook, asking for permission from our bosses for grape juice, LOL! It was just the two of us replying, though. :) And this was almost 9:00 at night...

 

Then I started a side conversation telling him that after his email, the Mussolini nickname was being retired forever. He wrote "That will ruin my fascist image... No one will fear Machiavellian me... Then what? There is a kind side to the suit but reserved"

 

What does this mean?? This is what I want advice with. What does this remark mean? I replied, but I'm still not really sure what he meant...

 

There was a lot more that happened, like the staring, but this was the bulk of it...

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hahahaa.

 

I once complained about this place being sooo negative because " surely that guy was into me, I mean why WOULDN'T he be:lmao:"

 

Look I have a pretty banging body myself and a nice smile but guess what? NOT EVERY GUY who is nice to you, LIKES YOU.

 

He obviously prefers his wife or just his current romantic situation in general, to the notion of being with YOU.

 

Trust me, if a man truly wanted to get to know you better HE WOULD.

 

This man has never ONCE asked you to spend time alone with you.

 

If he was interested he would ask you for a coffee in your lunch break or during the day. He would suggest seeing a movie together one on one.

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Oh my God... So I was just in his office and he said he was thinking of me last night! :) Then he explained it... My team was playing and they lost... He said "I was thinking to myself last night... How is she taking this?" We sometimes talk about sports and he knew if be upset...*

 

Btw, this platonic thing is more than fine with me. I have severe commitment issues that I'm in therapy for - even if he did ask me out, I'd have to say no. Plus, wondering is fun.

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He hasn't asked you out.

 

If he did you'd say no?

 

Are you interested in him to go out or him to tease - please clarify, I'm confused about your intent...

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Most people in high up positions are confident and you say he's a take charge kind of guy yourself. He's either not interested or needs more of a greeb light for you because you both know he's married and he doesn't know if your cool with that.

 

I'll save my opinion on seaparated people dating for anither thread...

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There was a lot more that happened, like the staring, but this was the bulk of it...

 

This thread's fiction does not disappoint. It's pretty much an episode of Seinfeld....nothing ever really happens.

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I don't know what my intent is. Sex?*

 

Here's what I haven't told you guys - I lived with my boyfriend for years, we broke up. I live alone, but we recently got back together, but are not exclusive. It's the old commitment issues I mentioned.

 

The guy at work knows I have a boyfriend. He's separated, but let's face it - he does have a wife. Asking someone out when both are in the process of either ending or restarting a relationship is not as clear cut as everyone seems to make it.

 

Add to it the fact that if he asks me out and I say no, he's opened up the company to a huge liability - I could sue, and everyone would believe me.

 

I told all this to my therapist this morning and she said he's definitely interested - he's trying to portray an image and interested in how I see him, which is not common for a man who doesn't care. The gushing email was further proof. Emailing back and forth about non work things, in the evening and on weekends, as we do - she said that's the beginning of a relationship.

 

As for the green signs from me... You hit the nail on the head. I don't know if I've given them. But why try and have him ask me out? Just to say no? He'd call me a tease and it would hurt me professionally. I could lose my job too. I'm expendable, he is not.

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Your therapist is feeding you this nonsense so you can keep coming every week.

 

You and your "therapist" are the only ones who believe there is any interest. Keep up the good fiction writing though.

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  • 3 weeks later...

JGirl - we think his wife is on to you.

 

Have you read this thread from a wife who is suspicious of a girl in her husband's office?

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JGirl - we think his wife is on to you.

 

Have you read this thread from a wife who is suspicious of a girl in her husband's office?

 

I was thinking the same thing while reading that other thread. It could be his wife tracking his work email.

 

Jgirl - is your MM taking vacation about now?

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I went to a work event the other day and something happened. I'm not sure what to think of it - guys buy me drinks all the time and I've been told I fit the "obviously attractive" mold - tall, long blond hair, big boobs, nice face, etc. I'm not bragging, I just need to give you guys an idea of what I look like, that's all.

 

But I was at the bar, standing behind this higher-up and a co-worker's husband, and the higher up was buying them both drinks. I was just standing behind them, waiting my turn, not even talking or anything.

 

Then the higher up turned around, asked what I wanted, I said it thinking he meant it was my turn to go, then he didn't let me reach into my purse to pay! He said "I'm having fun tonight."*

 

Today, I had another event and my car was the first on the parking lot. He stopped his on a diagonal, right in front of mine, without parking it - as if to show me the fancy car was his (we drive the same kind of "fancy" car.) I was talking in my car on the phone so didn't get out. He finally parked right behind me, I could see him in the rear view mirror. Stayed there and then got out, leans against the back of his car... Until I got out.

 

Today, it took him 7 minutes to reply to my email...*

 

Do all these things together mean that he's into me? I'm sure he's attracted, but how do I find out if he would like to take it further?

 

-I respond right away to texts and emails...Doesn't matter who it is. My phone is on me at all times.

-Sounds like you are his work sister..I buy girls shots and beers I'm friends with..doesn't always mean they are interested..could be generous.

-Guy is bragging about his car..that's all he's doing.

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After a week? We started flirting a week ago! Of course I want to make it something, because it is...

 

You are his work sister! He doesn't want you..you seem like you crave attention!

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I don't know what my intent is. Sex?*

 

Here's what I haven't told you guys - I lived with my boyfriend for years, we broke up. I live alone, but we recently got back together, but are not exclusive. It's the old commitment issues I mentioned.

 

The guy at work knows I have a boyfriend. He's separated, but let's face it - he does have a wife. Asking someone out when both are in the process of either ending or restarting a relationship is not as clear cut as everyone seems to make it.

 

Add to it the fact that if he asks me out and I say no, he's opened up the company to a huge liability - I could sue, and everyone would believe me.

 

I told all this to my therapist this morning and she said he's definitely interested - he's trying to portray an image and interested in how I see him, which is not common for a man who doesn't care. The gushing email was further proof. Emailing back and forth about non work things, in the evening and on weekends, as we do - she said that's the beginning of a relationship.

 

As for the green signs from me... You hit the nail on the head. I don't know if I've given them. But why try and have him ask me out? Just to say no? He'd call me a tease and it would hurt me professionally. I could lose my job too. I'm expendable, he is not.

 

I hope you don't live in Ohio..you stating "I talked to my therapist" would have me in red alert.

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