What is my problem?

[nofeelings22]

I can't go 2 days without female attention without getting depressed.

 

Literally.

 

The girl I'm seeing lost her phone while with me last week and I gave her a new one. She lost that one too.

 

So, during the week and a half she is away at home, before she comes back to the city, we have sent about 60 emails chatting about random stuff. She was getting jealous of other girls and I told her I don't like to date tons of girls, prefer to see one, then move on if it doesn't work. She agreed and feels the same. So we have a few more emails about random stuff. Sailing, skateboarding, common interests. Then on Wednesday I said, "I kinda wish you had a phone so we could talk. Oh well, you will soon. Have fun at the party." And that's that. It's now Friday and I haven't heard from her since Wednesday. (party was on Thursday)

 

Now, I can play it cool. Dump her into the random chick I could care less about box, but I really like this girl. She said she fell in love with me over one of the emails. We really, really hit it off over the months we have been getting to know each other.

 

Now that she isn't writing back for a couple days, I feel extremely depressed. Like she is bailing but I don't know why. She is supposed to come back Wednesday. But without hearing from her,my emotions are taking a huge nosedive. I feel like just going and finding a different girl only for the attention, distraction and to ease my depression.

 

Girls seem to be like drugs for me., I have a terrible addiction and can't be alone. I need attention. Even my ex wife used to joke about all the attention I need.

 

Does anyone else have this mental problem?

 

I feel like as depressed as can be not hearing from her.

 

Also, another ldr girl I told to shape up a little meanly and went nc with wrote me back and said sorry and she wants to see me again. I like the one that has no phone atm better. But I'm finding comfort in knowing the ldr one wants me. A little comfort . and hoping she gives me some attention. And this tooK 2 DAMN DAYS of not hearing from the one i like!!

 

This can't be normal....

 

Ideas on how to fix this mental problem?

 

Basically my life is work, girls (even if it is a wife) and reading. And apparently posting too much here too, when I'm without girls.

 

Ideas?

[nofeelings22]

And... my ex wife is the last person that made me feel this terrible.

 

There is no other explanation. Seems like I have somehow lost this new girl without doing anything at all. Im not with her, there was nothing unusual in our emails... she just vanished.

 

And this is the first girl i had feelings for and actually had good sex with since my ex wife.

 

For this to happen so quickly is devastating.

 

I'm practically suicidal here. All alone. Off the deep end. :/

 

Like, why even bother with love if you are only going to be continually used and hurt by women?

 

I'm ready to give up, live a life without love and just hire escorts until my sex drive dwindles from age. Damn it... so frustrating. The one of the bunch I actually fall for destroys the only fragile bit of emotion , the first since my ex wife, that i have felt in years.

 

Very, very upset.

 

Nobody to talk to.

 

Apparently nobody on here to talk tio either.

 

Damn it, why do women cause more pain than joy overall?

[mrs rubble]

And... my ex wife is the last person that made me feel this terrible.

 

There is no other explanation. Seems like I have somehow lost this new girl without doing anything at all. Im not with her, there was nothing unusual in our emails... she just vanished.

 

And this is the first girl i had feelings for and actually had good sex with since my ex wife.

 

For this to happen so quickly is devastating.

 

I'm practically suicidal here. All alone. Off the deep end. :/

 

Like, why even bother with love if you are only going to be continually used and hurt by women?

 

I'm ready to give up, live a life without love and just hire escorts until my sex drive dwindles from age. Damn it... so frustrating. The one of the bunch I actually fall for destroys the only fragile bit of emotion , the first since my ex wife, that i have felt in years.

 

Very, very upset.

 

Nobody to talk to.

 

Apparently nobody on here to talk tio either.

 

Damn it, why do women cause more pain than joy overall?

You are responsible for your own feelings, nobody makes you feel them.

 

I think you're over reacting here, it's only one day after the party. Maybe she's lost her laptop now...and can't email.

 

Create your own joy, find other things that you love to do. When we are most content we're most likely to attract content into our lives.

 

Sounds like you're storing negatives there!! Bring on the good vibes.

[nofeelings22]

 

I think you're over reacting here, it's only one day after the party. Maybe she's lost her laptop now...and can't email.

 

 

Thank you.

 

I am 100% over reacting. There is no doubt about it. I just dont know why, nor do I have control over it.

 

If anyone had their spouse just get up and leave with no warning and no contact, you know that lost, foggy, worthless, tired feeling you got soon after it happened?

 

I am feeling that right now... at the same strength level as when my ex wife vanished.

 

Logically, this makes no sense, but this massive, crushing depression feeling is on me so hard I can't even think straight. I feel all alone, worthless, like there is nothing but pain in life. I can't move. Just laying in bed. The place is a mess. I have no motivation.

 

I think this is extremely strong depression, set off by not hearing from this girl i really like for 2 days.

 

My head literally hurts and is in a fog.

 

This should not be happening. I let myself care for her, now I'm subject to this pain.

 

I hope it goes away by morning. And you know what? One of the only ways to make it go away is to stop caring (or hear from her on a positive note).

 

I let myself develop feelings and now look where i am. Damn.

Edited June 14, 2014 by nofeelings22

[nofeelings22]

Feeling better this morning, but only because I don't care anymore. I have detached.

 

I really hate what opening up your heart does.

 

There is zero joy that comes from women. None. Might as well just quit, I'm thinking. Nod, say you love them, get on with the physical, be friends, but never allow yourself to love.

 

I'm done. People are horrible with their no contact, no explanation, saying they love you and vanishing the next day bullsh\t.

 

Cowards

Edited June 14, 2014 by nofeelings22

[nofeelings22]

And why are so many women so bad at communication??

 

I thought men were supposed to be the ones that can't communicate.

 

Awesome conversation with myself. Glad I contribute to everyone else's problrms and questions but nobody is here when I am really having a problem...

[umirano]

Your posts are hilarious. Girl loses two phones in a few days? Are you sure you want to trust that girl with anything?

 

I hated it when my LDR GF lost hers (happened every so often). I've never lost a phone since I got the first one in the 90ies. I've had one taken from me in a fist fight, but that doesn't quite count I guess.

 

As per your "problem". I'm a little confused. You seem to have plenty of girls to talk to and to date too? Where's the problem? I'm desperately trying to land dates, which is kind of hard here. I always get looks from girls when I go out and I've been told I'm pretty good looking by exes. But I don't quite seem to be able to cash in on my looks IRL. OLD also is a hassle as many conversations are quite meaningless in the beginning, and I am not great at small talk, not great enough to meet up with the girl so far anyway. Maybe you can help me, and I can try to help you.

 

I don't have a problem not getting attention as sometimes I just get lost in something I'm doing (also reading). I wouldn't even have time to reply to keep the attention going.

 

Is it your instinct driving you? Or are you actually consciously chatting up that many women?

[umirano]

Thank you.

If anyone had their spouse just get up and leave with no warning and no contact, you know that lost, foggy, worthless, tired feeling you got soon after it happened?

 

I am feeling that right now... at the same strength level as when my ex wife vanished.

How long ago did this happen?

 

Logically, this makes no sense, but this massive, crushing depression feeling is on me so hard I can't even think straight. I feel all alone, worthless, like there is nothing but pain in life. I can't move. Just laying in bed. The place is a mess. I have no motivation.

Happens to everybody. Sometimes there's just no point in bothering putting the dishes away or even getting out of bed This week was great, I cleaned up the apt. a lot, moved old stuff out to sell it or give it away and the place is shiny now. Feels good. But 2 weeks ago I had difficulties walking from one room to the other bc of stuff blocking the way.

 

I think this is extremely strong depression, set off by not hearing from this girl i really like for 2 days.

 

My head literally hurts and is in a fog.

 

This should not be happening. I let myself care for her, now I'm subject to this pain.

Totally feel you. The problem is, your emotions don't give a fnck for your rationale. You just have to sit through it. Like a storm when you're sailing. Take in the sails and ride it out.

 

I hope it goes away by morning. And you know what? One of the only ways to make it go away is to stop caring (or hear from her on a positive note).

 

I let myself develop feelings and now look where i am. Damn.

I don't think anybody can "allow" or "disallow" feelings. So it isn't really on you. Yet you have to deal with the consequences. Unfair, I know.

 

One way to fight it is meeting others, occupying your mind with something else. But it has to suck in your mind/attention more strongly than this girl. I find it very hard right now myself...

[nofeelings22]

Thank you, Umirano.

 

So... yeah, I kind of lost my mind last night. A long walk in nature this morning and picking and eating some mulberries has helped a lot. Going to do 100 push ups and some other upper body today. It is sunny and beautiful out today, so all of these things shpuld hopefully break the depression.

 

The ex wife thing was a year and a half ago. I think someone doing the exact same thing sthe ex did (vanishing with no trace) set off some problems I still have from it. I was with the ex wife 12 years. She also said she loved me the day before she vanished. Same as this new girl I let myself have feelings for.

 

I do have a lot of girls around, but they are not girls I love. I allowed this one in and she did the same thing my ex wife did.

 

This is very upsetting and a huge setback for me emotionally.

 

I see old men with nobody. They seem pretty happy. Literally, I wonder if they aren't wiser than I am. They have friends, enjoy life, but do not deal with all of the chaos women cause. Looks kind of nice. Just hook up with girls whenever, not care about them and wait for the old sex drive to wane. Then you are really free! lol

[nofeelings22]

By the way, do you sail??

[nofeelings22]

You display a classic passive/aggressive behaviour. The type that we women learn to avoid. Your post reflects the inability to control thoughts. A healthy well adjusted male has developed social skills and perspectives.

 

'hate'..'zero joy from women'...bullsh/t', etc. I would tell my daughters to run from you.

 

It's fine to feel low, upset and want to vent. However, your post reflects coping issues. You should seek some help.

 

 

Right, but these are interior emotions, not exterior behaviors. You only know about them because I wrote them here. I do not outwardly display any of these feelings. In fact, you seem to just be another female who tries to hurt me when I open up, actually. These are my deepest feelings and doubts and you are demonizing them.

 

I have been screwed over really bad twice in a row by love.

 

I am definitely having a very hard time having my ass handed to me twice in a row in love. I am unable to cope with that, true.

 

Your daughters would probably hook up with me and vanish later, only after I fell in love. They would stick around before that. lol

 

I never had these issues until my ex wife destroyed my trust in women by telling me she loved me then vanishing without any explanation. No fights, no arguments, nothing obviously wrong. Of course she was seriously mentally ill and had voices in her head, saw and smelled stuff that wasn't there at times, etc... but I thought I had a true connection with the real her after 12 years.

 

This new girl was fine. A great person. We were having a good start and poof. Gone, after she told me she loved me.

 

 

I'd love to seek help, but when I went, they told me I am fine and just need to focus on my own life and let go of the ex. I did that. Now, i git crushed again, same way. I love you, straight to no contact. Would love to see how anyone else fairs after 2 of those in a row..

Edited June 14, 2014 by nofeelings22

[umirano]

By the way, do you sail??

 

Yes, sometimes I do.

 

How long have you been seeing this girl that vanished on you? Did she know you were hooking up with others in between? Bc that's what I'm getting from other posts by you. She may not have liked that very much?

[nofeelings22]

Yes, sometimes I do.

 

How long have you been seeing this girl that vanished on you? Did she know you were hooking up with others in between? Bc that's what I'm getting from other posts by you. She may not have liked that very much?

 

 

Was curious because I sail a lot. Do you have a boat? I have a new one under construction. Maybe we can pm about sailing. It is a very big thing for me.

 

So, I have been talking to this girl on and off for the better part of a couple months. We progressed to more. Love came in on both sides. We are only a couple weeks into the love part. 3 weeks now, i guess. I did not pursue any other girls while with her. I cannot do that. I do not have feelings for more than one girl at a time. We spent many wonderful, fun days together. We have plans for future stuff (getting some long boards to buzz around the city, she wants to see my boat, etc... ). In short, we got serious.

 

I have seen many girls since my ex, but never felt love. This was the first time. And of course, she vanishes the exact same way the ex did, which i think is triggering off the emotions.

[umirano]

Thank you, Umirano.

Sure thing.

 

So... yeah, I kind of lost my mind last night. A long walk in nature this morning and picking and eating some mulberries has helped a lot. Going to do 100 push ups and some other upper body today. It is sunny and beautiful out today, so all of these things shpuld hopefully break the depression.

C'mon everybody is self-diagnosing themselves with depression all the time. It just sucks losing someone, that's all there is IMO.

 

The ex wife thing was a year and a half ago. I think someone doing the exact same thing sthe ex did (vanishing with no trace) set off some problems I still have from it. I was with the ex wife 12 years. She also said she loved me the day before she vanished. Same as this new girl I let myself have feelings for.

That's hard. But in another post you said your XW had mental problems (diagnosed by an actual doctor I guess). So it's bad luck and it wasn't in your power to do anything about it. Now for that new girl, like I said, you can't control your feelings that way. So look for other reasons if you must.

 

I do have a lot of girls around, but they are not girls I love. I allowed this one in and she did the same thing my ex wife did.

Maybe she worried about that? The many other girls?

 

I see old men with nobody. They seem pretty happy. Literally, I wonder if they aren't wiser than I am. They have friends, enjoy life, but do not deal with all of the chaos women cause. Looks kind of nice. Just hook up with girls whenever, not care about them and wait for the old sex drive to wane. Then you are really free! lol

I don't think they're wiser. You just become less sex-driven with the age. And less insecure. You just look at the sh.it the universe dishes out at you and go "FU, I'm doing things my way. And anyone who's unhappy with that can eff off." I like Louis CK's view on such things a lot, maybe look at some of his shows on YT.

[nofeelings22]

Thank you very much, Umirano! You have a great outlook. I am trying to get back to normal. Your posts really help.

[umirano]

Was curious because I sail a lot. Do you have a boat? I have a new one under construction. Maybe we can pm about sailing. It is a very big thing for me.

Cool! That's awesome. Are you building it yourself? I don't have one myself, but I have access to one.

 

So, I have been talking to this girl on and off for the better part of a couple months. We progressed to more. Love came in on both sides. We are only a couple weeks into the love part. 3 weeks now, i guess. I did not pursue any other girls while with her. I cannot do that. I do not have feelings for more than one girl at a time. We spent many wonderful, fun days together. We have plans for future stuff (getting some long boards to buzz around the city, she wants to see my boat, etc... ). In short, we got serious.

So... three weeks in she disappears. Hm. Age difference?

Give her some time, maybe she's just really busy with something. If there was a true spark she'll come back.

 

I have seen many girls since my ex, but never felt love. This was the first time. And of course, she vanishes the exact same way the ex did, which i think is triggering off the emotions.

Yeah, but it's still just a coincidence. So don't attribute anything else to it.

[nofeelings22]

Cool! That's awesome. Are you building it yourself? I don't have one myself, but I have access to one.

 

.

 

Yeah, I was there building for the first 2 1/2 years. The important structural stuff. Now I am away earning money to fund the rest (ex wife took 60k, the money for the interior of the boat). I have some guys working on it while I'm gone. They are fairing and painting now. Windows soon.

[umirano]

Sweet! What the hell is your problem you have a sailboat on your own...

 

No, seriously, what's so bad about just leaving things where they are RS wise? You don't seem to have a problem picking up girls and thus getting back into the dating jungle at any time. I think many on the dating forum would love to have your problem.

In a few months you may view the whole situation very differently.

 

Ofc it sucks not hearing from the girl. I experienced that with my LD GF, she'd disappear on me a couple of times. I hated it. It gave me sleepless nights. She was very young, I was worried about her running off with someone else and not having the guts to tell me, i.e. being played LD. That really sucks for me bc I place high value on my self sufficiency and autonomy. I hate being fooled. Turns out she was mostly messed up bc of her insecurities (not knowing what to do with her life education and work wise, hating the place where she lived, etc...). And it ended this spring because she still hasn't figured it out, but it seems she's doing something about it now (from what the bread crumbs contain).

 

If she runs off to never turn back it was never meant to be. Be glad she didn't pull that stunt off 8 months or 2 years into the RS, say if you had fallen hard for her. And there's still a chance she comes back. Ugh, I just get triggered about my ex now The first time it happened I sent her an email after 2 days asking what's up. Still no reply. I didn't see her on on any SN. After a week I broke up with her via e-mail. A really teary one too. She called immediately in the middle of the night demanding answers and was apologetic. But it became a pattern, even though I tried to put my foot down telling her she can't do that, bc I hate figuring out whether she ended up under a bus or whether she just was busy. A text saying "I'm busy doing ..., I'll text you tomorrow" really isn't too much to ask.

 

In your situation you could just do what you do, and if you encounter a girl you want, you should have it pretty easy with your pickup skills. this way you'd safe yourself the hassle of emotionless dating/hooking up (if that's a hassle for you?)

[nofeelings22]

Sweet! What the hell is your problem you have a sailboat on your own...

 

No, seriously, what's so bad about just leaving things where they are RS wise? You don't seem to have a problem picking up girls and thus getting back into the dating jungle at any time. I think many on the dating forum would love to have your problem.

In a few months you may view the whole situation very differently.

 

Ofc it sucks not hearing from the girl. I experienced that with my LD GF, she'd disappear on me a couple of times. I hated it. It gave me sleepless nights. She was very young, I was worried about her running off with someone else and not having the guts to tell me, i.e. being played LD. That really sucks for me bc I place high value on my self sufficiency and autonomy. I hate being fooled. Turns out she was mostly messed up bc of her insecurities (not knowing what to do with her life education and work wise, hating the place where she lived, etc...). And it ended this spring because she still hasn't figured it out, but it seems she's doing something about it now (from what the bread crumbs contain).

 

If she runs off to never turn back it was never meant to be. Be glad she didn't pull that stunt off 8 months or 2 years into the RS, say if you had fallen hard for her. And there's still a chance she comes back. Ugh, I just get triggered about my ex now The first time it happened I sent her an email after 2 days asking what's up. Still no reply. I didn't see her on on any SN. After a week I broke up with her via e-mail. A really teary one too. She called immediately in the middle of the night demanding answers and was apologetic. But it became a pattern, even though I tried to put my foot down telling her she can't do that, bc I hate figuring out whether she ended up under a bus or whether she just was busy. A text saying "I'm busy doing ..., I'll text you tomorrow" really isn't too much to ask.

 

In your situation you could just do what you do, and if you encounter a girl you want, you should have it pretty easy with your pickup skills. this way you'd safe yourself the hassle of emotionless dating/hooking up (if that's a hassle for you?)

 

 

Ah, and here is where boith of my problem threads come together.

 

You seem to have a very healthy adjustment to your girl vanishing.

 

Yes, she is also young. Same as yours.

 

Here is a big problem. From the ex wife, I am pretty scared to love anyone. This is why I have just been hooking up with girls. Just "having fun" as they say. Nothing serious. I could have had a relationship with others, but there was no connection. Only physical.

 

Now, along comes this one where after all this time of not being ready to love, I am finally ready, and it seems like she is gone.

 

It is like being in an airplane crash, then finally working up the courage, after many years, to fly again and the first plane you get on crashes!!

 

The only way I can cope with this girl I love vanishing is to shut it off. To stop loving her. Then, I will maybe be permanently broken. I already was almost sure I could not stand love again, then the moment i get up the courage, it bites me once again.

 

So, yes, the boat is great, but it is also a tremendous financial and time burden. I am doing nothing but working to feed this boat's insatiable appetite for money. It's a 50 foot sailing cat. Like a gunboat, but a privately designed one off. It has eaten up enough money and time to build 4 houses. Really hoping that burden can be mostly lifted by January.

Edited June 14, 2014 by nofeelings22

[umirano]

Ah, and here is where boith of my problem threads come together.

 

You seem to have a very healthy adjustment to your girl vanishing.

Meh, I was a mess between BU and 2 weeks ago. Compulsively going out, desperate being with anyone for the sake of not being alone at home.

 

Yes, she is also young. Same as yours.

The butterflies, from one flower to the next, maybe. I hope not!

 

Here is a big problem. From the ex wife, I am pretty scared to love anyone.

This is the only second time I was left. First time was when I was a teenager. That one was worse. I went into seclusion for three days and rode the bicycle a whole day without eating. After this experience, I was over her. Maybe I just took the lazy approach this time

 

This is why I have just been hooking up with girls. Just "having fun" as they say. Nothing serious. I could have had a relationship with others, but there was no connection. Only physical.

I would love for it to be as easy as it sounds in your post. How do you actually do it? Where do you meet the girls and how do you get them to hook up? Are they pretty? Are they desperate or do you have a choice?

 

Now, along comes this one where after all this time of not being ready to love, I am finally ready, and it seems like she is gone.

What can you say when you try to think like her? Is she very sociable? Did she seem to know what she wants? Does she have many guys hitting on her? Or is it more likely that she signed up for a humanitarian mission without telling anybody? What kind of scenario, to the best of your knowledge, could have led her to act this way after the three weeks you mentioned? Is it conceivable that she wasn't as much into you as you were into her? Are you surprised that she didn't end it officially if that's what really happened?

 

The only way I can cope with this girl I love vanishing is to shut it off. To stop loving her. Then, I will maybe be permanently broken. I already was almost sure I could not stand love again, then the moment i get up the courage, it bites me once again.

I really think you overestimate the control you have over your emotions. You didn't let yourself love her. It just happened. And you won't be able to stop loving her at your will. If she comes back next week are you really going to say (and follow through with) "well, that's all nice, but I already decided not to love you anymore, so I won't be seeing you anymore"?

 

So, yes, the boat is great, but it is also a tremendous financial and time burden. I am doing nothing but working to feed this boat's insatiable appetite for money. It's a 50 foot sailing cat. Like a gunboat, but a privately designed one off.

Hahah, I already imagined you must have a pretty well paying job, as sailboats, esp. self-constructed ones, feast on money like an elephant on savanna grass. Do you plan a blue water trip?

[nofeelings22]

 

I would love for it to be as easy as it sounds in your post. How do you actually do it? Where do you meet the girls and how do you get them to hook up? Are they pretty? Are they desperate or do you have a choice?

 

I meet lots of them online and out in the city with people. There is no way to actually go out and meet girls. They come across your path in many, many different ways and some you can progress to physical, while others progress to liking you. You'd be shocked if I showed you pictures. I tend to go for the top looking ones in the world (by my own judgment) which may be why I'm screwed up. Who knows? The girls are never desperate. They have so many options, it's dizzying. I'm not like most guys and they like that, i guess. Not sure. Basic strategy is to treat them like people.

 

What can you say when you try to think like her? Is she very sociable? Did she seem to know what she wants? Does she have many guys hitting on her? Or is it more likely that she signed up for a humanitarian mission without telling anybody? What kind of scenario, to the best of your knowledge, could have led her to act this way after the three weeks you mentioned? Is it conceivable that she wasn't as much into you as you were into her? Are you surprised that she didn't end it officially if that's what really happened?

 

 

 

She definitely doesn't have life in order. She is pretty sociable and like most girls i know, has an army of guys trying to see her. She was the leader. She was more into me from the start. She was firsrt to mention she fell in love with me. She was always more into me than I was into her. She first grabbed my hand to hold it. She fell hard and I finally warmed up. I was scared. Slower than her. I haven't told her I love her yet. Maybe this is the problem??

 

 

I really think you overestimate the control you have over your emotions. You didn't let yourself love her. It just happened. And you won't be able to stop loving her at your will. If she comes back next week are you really going to say (and follow through with) "well, that's all nice, but I already decided not to love you anymore, so I won't be seeing you anymore"??

Yes, it may go exactly like that. I can shut it off very easily. I had to force my feelings to open up for this girl because she was going fast and I'm still damaged to an extent. It would be very simple to close back up and go find other girls to "play" with. I would then have no more love for her and she would be in a hookup category, until she can coax it back out.

 

Sounds crazy, I know. It sounds like I'm a girl when i say this stuff, but this is how it works.

 

 

Hahah, I already imagined you must have a pretty well paying job, as sailboats, esp. self-constructed ones, feast on money like an elephant on savanna grass. Do you plan a blue water trip?

 

Several! I've already been from Venezuela to Nova Scotia and everywhere in between by boat. Hoping to get to Europe sometime soon with this one. Greek islands, general Med stuff, Ibiza!!!! :D:D Raves and festivals are the best place of all to meet girls, imo. I have met many at them.

 

I'm kind of trying to line up a very adventurous companion to join me. To replace the ex, really. This girl was the best so far. Really said she wanted to do it. See, i meet lots of girls, but lots of girls suck. They are boring, like to have houses, picket fences and kids. This girl wanted long boards and to go sailing with me. Amazing compatibility. A rare find.

Edited June 14, 2014 by nofeelings22

[Shaun-Dro]

And... my ex wife is the last person that made me feel this terrible.

 

There is no other explanation. Seems like I have somehow lost this new girl without doing anything at all. Im not with her, there was nothing unusual in our emails... she just vanished.

 

And this is the first girl i had feelings for and actually had good sex with since my ex wife.

 

For this to happen so quickly is devastating.

 

I'm practically suicidal here. All alone. Off the deep end. :/

 

Like, why even bother with love if you are only going to be continually used and hurt by women?

 

I'm ready to give up, live a life without love and just hire escorts until my sex drive dwindles from age. Damn it... so frustrating. The one of the bunch I actually fall for destroys the only fragile bit of emotion , the first since my ex wife, that i have felt in years.

 

Very, very upset.

 

Nobody to talk to.

 

Apparently nobody on here to talk tio either.

 

Damn it, why do women cause more pain than joy overall?

 

 

These are valid symptoms of clinginess; do you realize that?

[nofeelings22]

These are valid symptoms of clinginess; do you realize that?

 

Yup, but she clung way harder than me, which is why I liked her so much.

 

I love what people call a co dependent relationship. Me and my girl together, pretry much all the time, us vs the world.

 

It's actually quite healthy to have a close relationship, imo, despite it not being common or in favor these days.

Edited June 14, 2014 by nofeelings22

[MidwestUSA]

Yup, but she clung way harder than me, which is why I liked her so much.

 

I love what people call a co dependent relationship. Me and my girl together, pretry much all the time, us vs the world.

 

It's actually quite healthy to have a close relationship, imo, despite it not being common or in favor these days.

 

It's more healthy to have a close relationship with someone age appropriate, who is at the same stage of life, and is looking for the same things as you.

 

If you realize that what you had was a fling, and that at nearly 40, you bagging these 20 year olds is just a phase, you'll pass thru it more easily. Go thru as many of them as you need, I suppose, if that's what you think it takes.

 

 

It's going to be a really rare early 20 something year old that thinks what she has with you is a permanent investment; there may be better (and less expensive) types of therapy out here, just sayin'.

Edited June 15, 2014 by MidwestUSA

[nofeelings22]

It's more healthy to have a close relationship with someone age appropriate, who is at the same stage of life, and is looking for the same things as you.

 

If you realize that what you had was a fling, and that at nearly 40, you bagging these 20 year olds is just a phase, you'll pass thru it more easily. Go thru as many of them as you need, I suppose, if that's what you think it takes.

 

 

It's going to be a really rare early 20 something year old that thinks what she has with you is a permanent investment; there may be better (and less expensive) types of therapy out here, just sayin'.

 

 

Finally over it today. Have my sense of humor back an thought this last pagagraph was hilarious.

 

Thank you.

 

Actually, I hope to find someone about 10 years younger. In her very late 20's to early 30's but for the life of me, do not meet any.

 

That is my normal dating age difference comfort zone. 10 years difference is just perfect.

 

And the part where you mention looking for the same thing as you... that's what drew me to this one. She wanted the same things in life. 100% compatibility.

 

See, i am looking for a girl who wants to have fun, doesn't care about office jobs, doesn't need a career (i have all of that for her... she can pursue her hobbies and intellectual pursuits), doesn't want kids, is physically active, loves nature and travel. Someone who wants to really live... not just sit around going to the office, grocery store, home to slerp, repeat until you die. A girl who wants to see the world. Experience different cultures and places. Who could care less about collecting meaningless material possessions, but would rather have life experiences.

 

This girl, other than wanting to go to a design school for art (hobby) wanted all the same stuff.

 

You don't find that every day. Although I'd sure like to figure out where to meet more girls like this.

 

The trouble with "used ones" (jokinng.,, age appropriate ones), is they have kids, have careers, don't feel like they can leave, or are a bit heavy from sitting in an office chair and eating all day.

 

This girl was perfect.