Is my co-worker trying to cheat? He's separated?

[Jgirl24]

I went to a work event the other day and something happened. I'm not sure what to think of it - guys buy me drinks all the time and I've been told I fit the "obviously attractive" mold - tall, long blond hair, big boobs, nice face, etc. I'm not bragging, I just need to give you guys an idea of what I look like, that's all.

 

But I was at the bar, standing behind this higher-up and a co-worker's husband, and the higher up was buying them both drinks. I was just standing behind them, waiting my turn, not even talking or anything.

 

Then the higher up turned around, asked what I wanted, I said it thinking he meant it was my turn to go, then he didn't let me reach into my purse to pay! He said "I'm having fun tonight."*

 

Today, I had another event and my car was the first on the parking lot. He stopped his on a diagonal, right in front of mine, without parking it - as if to show me the fancy car was his (we drive the same kind of "fancy" car.) I was talking in my car on the phone so didn't get out. He finally parked right behind me, I could see him in the rear view mirror. Stayed there and then got out, leans against the back of his car... Until I got out.

 

Today, it took him 7 minutes to reply to my email...*

 

Do all these things together mean that he's into me? I'm sure he's attracted, but how do I find out if he would like to take it further?

[mrs rubble]

I went to a work event the other day and something happened. I'm not sure what to think of it - guys buy me drinks all the time and I've been told I fit the "obviously attractive" mold - tall, long blond hair, big boobs, nice face, etc. I'm not bragging, I just need to give you guys an idea of what I look like, that's all.

 

But I was at the bar, standing behind this higher-up and a co-worker's husband, and the higher up was buying them both drinks. I was just standing behind them, waiting my turn, not even talking or anything.

 

Then the higher up turned around, asked what I wanted, I said it thinking he meant it was my turn to go, then he didn't let me reach into my purse to pay! He said "I'm having fun tonight."*

 

Today, I had another event and my car was the first on the parking lot. He stopped his on a diagonal, right in front of mine, without parking it - as if to show me the fancy car was his (we drive the same kind of "fancy" car.) I was talking in my car on the phone so didn't get out. He finally parked right behind me, I could see him in the rear view mirror. Stayed there and then got out, leans against the back of his car... Until I got out.

 

Today, it took him 7 minutes to reply to my email...*

 

Do all these things together mean that he's into me? I'm sure he's attracted, but how do I find out if he would like to take it further?

 

No I don't think that a reply to an email after 7mins and a drink bought at a bar means he's into you......if so, my married boss must be into me as well.

 

Firstly, stay away from married men and secondly stay away from your co-workers.

 

Thirdly being "obviously attractive" there should be no shortage of single guys who don't work with you out there to date.

[Realist3]

You are really stretching it here. I would see none of those things as a sign he is into you. Since you are obviously into him and wanting to take it further perhaps you should step up your game.

[Spark1111]

jeez....unless he is knocking on your door with a bouquet of flowers in hand....I have no idea if he is into YOU. he may be into other attributes, but it is stretching things to think a bought drink and mis parked car is a serious overture.

 

raise your game lady! if you do not make a man work for your attentions, you are setting the bar too low.

 

And NEVER put all your eggs into a separated basket! Entertain many suitors and be honest with all. The ONE who waits it out is the one you should give a second chance to.

[HereNorThere]

So you're a hot girl and you are wondering if guys are into you? Ummmmmm, yeah. Duh, like totes. That doesn't mean they are willing hurt their spouses and cheat, but a percentage would. Just be careful because it's usually scumbags that go out prowling. Meet people through trusted sources and shared mutual interests. (I hear handsome, sweet guys that are into cat pictures and science stuffs statistically make the best companions, but those are so hard to come by on Internets. I have 3 Internets and I've only seen a handful.)

[jbelle6]

These posts are rarely really about the coworker, they are always about the poster.

There are always these trivial things that happen to occur then the OP's try to analyze them to death.

 

You don't want to know if your coworker is looking to cheat OP, you want us to tell you he's into you. He's married, why do you care?

[Jgirl24]

No, he's not married.

 

 

 

Today, I had to go into his office to give him something, he gave me attention and then I mentioned his schedule. He said nothing and kept staring at the computer, so I said "Can I just leave these here?" - I thought I needed to leave. He said to just give him a minute but he didn't have his calendar at all...

 

Then we were talking and I said "I was told I shouldn't talk to you today..." He asked why and I said "Be cause you're supposed to be... Stressed out?". He immediately got on the phone, called his subordinate, playfully, and said "I know it was Jane who told you!" He was laughing... I was mortified - it was actually someone else who had said it. Anyway, he was joking with me after he hung up...

 

I saw he has a car mouse and said I know a little boy who would live it, he said "It's a Mercedes mouse" - I said "Oh, you have a Mercedes too??", and we were talking about how he'd had two, had just gotten a new one, I talked about mine... At one point I gave him a little slap on the arm, playing of course.*

 

Then I was walking away and said, playfully "You're getting me in trouble. Don't do that again". I was leaving the office and heard him say something, went back and asked what, he said "That you were being silly... But we're all silly sometimes". I smiled and left.

 

We also kept "bumping" into each other in the hall all day!* I kept having to walk between him and someone else, so we were pretty close about 4 times today...

 

Does all of this mean flirting? I was in one relationship only for 13 years so I've never really dated.

[Trimmer]

No, he's not married.

Your thread title says he's separated. That means married.

 

Which one is it?

[TylerDurdenn]

7 minutes?

 

He's trying to tell you something

[Jgirl24]

I disagree. I think that separated means no longer married. The relationship is over. Not going to try to argue this point.

 

 

And 7 minutes was just on that day! It was 3 minutes the other day, yesterday one minute... But it was just a meeting request, so I don't think that counts, lol.

 

 

Today, he walked by my office and stared as he walked by; I stared back. Every time he heard my voice, he'd walk out of someone's office he was in. I'd do the same... Then he would hear me coming (my heels are loud and I'm the only one wearing them!), would stand by the person's office door.

 

Then I was walking behind him at one point, he turned around, looked at me and made a joke/comment about something that was out in the hall... I joked back.

 

Last week, he bought me a drink at a function, offered to. Later on, with other coworkers, I told him "Should I tell them you're buying rounds?". He just smiled and looked a little embarrassed.

 

 

Am I wrong or does the staring mean interest?

[ExpatInItaly]

I disagree. I think that separated means no longer married. The relationship is over. Not going to try to argue this point.

 

 

And 7 minutes was just on that day! It was 3 minutes the other day, yesterday one minute... But it was just a meeting request, so I don't think that counts, lol.

 

 

Today, he walked by my office and stared as he walked by; I stared back. Every time he heard my voice, he'd walk out of someone's office he was in. I'd do the same... Then he would hear me coming (my heels are loud and I'm the only one wearing them!), would stand by the person's office door.

 

Then I was walking behind him at one point, he turned around, looked at me and made a joke/comment about something that was out in the hall... I joked back.

 

Last week, he bought me a drink at a function, offered to. Later on, with other coworkers, I told him "Should I tell them you're buying rounds?". He just smiled and looked a little embarrassed.

 

 

Am I wrong or does the staring mean interest?

 

Actually, that would be for him to decide. Not you.

 

In any event, I don't see much here that indicates noticeable interest. You're in love with him so you're trying to apply meaning to his every move, because you want him to feel the same.

 

It's not impossible that he likes you, of course, but I'm not seeing anything in your posts that confirms that.

[Trimmer]

I disagree. I think that separated means no longer married. The relationship is over. Not going to try to argue this point.

You are welcome not to argue it.

 

"Married" has a very specific legal definition with no middle ground. He is married until a judge enters a decree dissolving their marriage.

 

Now you can equivocate, and talk about the "relationship being over" and create whatever fantasy you wish, but don't forget the old saying about the fat lady singing, and you might want to look around on the boards here to see (a) that it's not at all uncommon for a separated man to engage in one or more outside relationships and then choose to go back to his wife, and (b) it's not at all uncommon for a married man to claim he's separated to make it a little easier to play with the girls...

 

What is your source of information about the state of his relationship? It sounds like you are not that emotionally intimate with him yet, if you are still nursing a schoolgirl crush, wondering if a 7-minute response time to an Email means he's into you... How do you know his relationship is over?

[mrs rubble]

I disagree. I think that separated means no longer married. The relationship is over. Not going to try to argue this point.

 

 

And 7 minutes was just on that day! It was 3 minutes the other day, yesterday one minute... But it was just a meeting request, so I don't think that counts, lol.

 

 

Today, he walked by my office and stared as he walked by; I stared back. Every time he heard my voice, he'd walk out of someone's office he was in. I'd do the same... Then he would hear me coming (my heels are loud and I'm the only one wearing them!), would stand by the person's office door.

 

Then I was walking behind him at one point, he turned around, looked at me and made a joke/comment about something that was out in the hall... I joked back.

 

Last week, he bought me a drink at a function, offered to. Later on, with other coworkers, I told him "Should I tell them you're buying rounds?". He just smiled and looked a little embarrassed.

 

 

Am I wrong or does the staring mean interest?

I sometimes stare at some of the hot Doctors at my work, it doesn't mean I'm going to risk my relationship with my fiance, nor my job to have a fling with one of them. It means, you're nice to look at, that's all.

I'd stop your flirting with him if I were you before you get a reputation as the office skank, which could follow you to your next job too if your not careful.