SpiritualAlchemy Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 You are a sweet, sweet man, and reading your comments about you thinking about her little girl just makes me think that it's not going to long before you're snapped up by a lovely lady. You've been grieving too long, don't deprive a lucky girl of the benefit of being loved by you, don't allow this heartbreak to hold you back one more day! This woman played you hard, she never deserved you in her life, but another out there will adore and appreciate you. I wish you the very best! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanLucas Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 You genuinely sound like a good friend of mine In fact every single one of you guys do. When I thought about posting this, I never though it would lead me to have a chance to interact with such wonderful people. Thank you so much You're right. I give you my word. I will never EVER reply or try to get back in touch with her and I will change my e-mail address. I am more confident than I ever was and I really hope this would take me to a better place. As you said, there is no point in grieving over someone who has moved on years ago and has a whole new life without me. I promise you, I will take your word and hope that I find peace and happiness within myself and hope I am heading towards a better future Thank you so very much I really appreciate it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanLucas Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 Thank you so much for being so kind. The fact is that this break-up has created a "fear" inside me. A fear that I'll never find true love again. Because most importantly, its almost impossible for me to identify the people who are true and the one's who are fake. I am the kind of guy who gets 100% involved in every other relationships in my life, be it friends or family or girlfriend or anything. I've had hundreds of friends but every single one of them used me in the name of friendship for their gain. I have been unfortunate with the people around me and almost everyone I've met in my life have been like that. My heart is practically numb from everything that it had to go through. I seriously did lose all my hope on humanity. I really want to hope that I'll meet my lovely lady someday soon and fall madly in love with her and spend the rest of our days together. but I am not sure if anyone nowadays would be as crazy and stupid as me. But I really hope that God has created my better half and that I'll meet her soon Thank you so much again God bless you. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 You genuinely sound like a good friend of mine In fact every single one of you guys do. When I thought about posting this, I never though it would lead me to have a chance to interact with such wonderful people. Thank you so much You're right. I give you my word. I will never EVER reply or try to get back in touch with her and I will change my e-mail address. I am more confident than I ever was and I really hope this would take me to a better place. As you said, there is no point in grieving over someone who has moved on years ago and has a whole new life without me. I promise you, I will take your word and hope that I find peace and happiness within myself and hope I am heading towards a better future Thank you so very much I really appreciate it. You're so welcome. I'm glad to help! Keep positive and just know that you will find that peace and happiness again. Live life and focus on the real friends and family you have around you. Those are the ones who genuinely care about you and are important. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanLucas Posted June 16, 2014 Author Share Posted June 16, 2014 Sure. I will definitely do so. And I gotta ask you about one more thing. Even though I move on from this, I am still gonna have all these memories running in my mind. All these years I have been thinking about it and I feel like I cannot potentially love another woman ever in my life. The reason is because, I feel like that would be like me cheating her, you know. I know its too much and I might be out of my mind but I always have that guilt inside me. All I wanted was to fall in love with a girl, marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. And I thought this girl was my one and only. But ever since she left me, I felt like I blew my shot. And after that, I have not been able to even imagine about another girl being by my side, just because I would feel such deep guilt inside me that I am cheating this girl. And no girl deserves to be treated that way. I know that I was not supposed to be a part of this generation and I am absolutely sure that people who read this are gonna think I'm insane. But honestly, that's who I am and that's how I feel. And I have no clue what to do about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanLucas Posted June 16, 2014 Author Share Posted June 16, 2014 ***Just to be clear, in my previous message, I have mentioned "cheating her" and "cheating this girl". And I meant that would be like, me cheating the new girl. Not like, me cheating my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Well, I'm glad that you're not going to respond. No good can come from it and it's going to take you back to a place that you don't want to be. What I find most disturbing is that you haven't move forward in 6 years. She broke up with you and started down her own path and you've been standing in place since. You need to start making positive changes in your life. You need to start walking down your own path. I think it would be wise for you to seek counseling to help you do this. Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Hi, Me and my ex-girlfriend have been in a relationship for over 3 years. Then she broke up with me and soon after that she got married to someone else. Since then, I have not used my phone or facebook or had any social interactions with anyone whatsoever. The break-up really affected me. Its been almost 6 years since she has been married and she has a child now. But a few days back, she sent me an e-mail asking how am i and hows life. The best part is, she ended the sentence with a "remember me?". Its been almost 6 years. This might have been a friendly e-mail. I don't know. And i really don't know what to do about this. Its obvious that I love her. But I feel that replying her would be a big mistake. I am really confused. Its been a week since I got that mail and I am logging in every now and then to see if she's followed it up with another mail. But no. And I don't know if I should reply or not. It was just a ping to see how you are doing, I wouldnt read any romantic interest into it at all. She's married, hasnt talked to you in six years. I have ex girlfriends pop up from time to time after in some cases 10 years who just say hi, we chat for a bit then they disappear. There are ex girlfriends of mine that I havent been able to talk to for years and if I could get ahold of them to just say hi and see how they're doing I would. The more important issue however is that you have wallowed in your devastation over this girl for 6 years and she is obviously not sharing your pain and has moved on. You are now pining over her every chance at replying to your email 6 years later. I had my former fiancee break off my engagement with her on Valentines Day, kick the can down the road for "2 more weeks" for a series of months until she moved out (probably waiting until she had enough money...) at 5am while I slept and when I tried to work it out she told me she didn't want to be in a relationship and wanted to be single for a while, didnt want to get married until she was in her late 30s (she was 26 at the time) and then a few years later I found out she is not only married but has a kid. I was with her for 9 years. So beleive me buddy I share your pain and understand it, sometimes I think about it and sometimes it still makes me want to cry at the loss of all that time. But 6 years to wallow in it is too long dude. You need to get a Plenty of Fish and a Tinder account and get out there and start meeting girls. If you need extra help to get out of your funk go on craigslist and bang a few escorts to get the ball rolling. Dont waste your life waiting thinking and hoping about someone who has completely moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 Then you need to admit that she is like a drug, and treat it like an addiction. You need to avoid it at all costs. I know its crazy but yeah. I still do. In fact I have been trying to move on. But the second I saw her mail, I completely lost it. I got all nervous for some strange reason. That's when I realized that time didn't help change nothing about the way I feel about her. Link to post Share on other sites
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