BrokenPrincess Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Holy **** I don't know what to do I just beelined to the bathroom to hide in a stall & my hands are shaking. He fell off the face of the earth 6 weeks ago after sending me a random email to our old shared account (that was after 6wks of silence). Anyway H & I just got the this event, we have a whole date night planned, I've had a couple glasses of champagne already & we were walking to our seats and I spotted his BS. Then recognized him sitting next to her. They didn't see me, we were far away. OMG I am freaking out. Can everyone please post reminders of what a selfish a$$ he is. And any other calming words of encouragement? My H doesn't know about the A but his W does, praying this night doesn't totally explode my life. #%^@$ Link to post Share on other sites
Mycatsnuggles Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Breathe!! Ignore!! Be sweet to husband. No more champagne. You need your wits about you!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Try to look a bit sick then ask to go home because you're starting to feel really unwell. Don't look at them, you can wing this Princess! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenPrincess Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 Just saw them take a selfie. I feel sick. Ran back to bathroom. Going to see if we can leave early. F*** him & all of this. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Just saw them take a selfie. I feel sick. Ran back to bathroom. Going to see if we can leave early. F*** him & all of this. Are you more upset seeing him with his wife and going on like nothing ever happened or are you more worried his wife will look your way and make a scene by telling your husband about the affair? Yes, tell your husband you don't feel well and to meet you at the car. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedMarriedOW Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 yes. get out of that place. You aren't going to have the good time you were planning. It is best to say you are unwell and leave. The wife could make a scene and you are just going to be unhappy for the rest of the night. Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Dont let him ruin this date night. Come on BP, you can push him from your mind. You can do this. Focus on your H. Focus on rebuilding your M. Focus on anything but him! Stop giving that man your power. Dig deep and find your inner strength. You are entitled to a life, and should not be hiding in a bathroom. Do this...for you and all the other women in this world who are taking back control of their lives. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenPrincess Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 Are you more upset seeing him with his wife and going on like nothing ever happened or are you more worried his wife will look your way and make a scene by telling your husband about the affair? Yes, tell your husband you don't feel well and to meet you at the car. Honestly both. A part of this event has significance that he would identify specifically with me. I checked the email last night just in case to see if maybe he gave a heads up knowing id probably be attending. But nothing. He never even logged in again since he sent that really long personalized sweet email. And now here he is, having a blast with his W & their friends. I seriously can't even believe this is really happening. During our A, we were 1300 miles apart bit since breaking up, my work moved me to his metro area. Last I heard, his W had no idea I lived here now. Do she could potentially be REALLY shocked if she sees us here. FML right now Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenPrincess Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 Dont let him ruin this date night. Come on BP, you can push him from your mind. You can do this. Focus on your H. Focus on rebuilding your M. Focus on anything but him! Stop giving that man your power. Dig deep and find your inner strength. You are entitled to a life, and should not be hiding in a bathroom. Do this...for you and all the other women in this world who are taking back control of their lives. Repeat repeat repeat 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Waverly Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 BP, I'm with jellybean on this. Dig deep, BREATH, and don't let him ruin this for you. He and the A have done enough damage to you and your life. Don't let this date night and chance to be with your H be another casualty. You are stronger than you think. Keep breathing. seriously. My therapist reminds me that all the time, and she's right. You can get through this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Honestly both. A part of this event has significance that he would identify specifically with me. I checked the email last night just in case to see if maybe he gave a heads up knowing id probably be attending. But nothing. He never even logged in again since he sent that really long personalized sweet email. And now here he is, having a blast with his W & their friends. I seriously can't even believe this is really happening. During our A, we were 1300 miles apart bit since breaking up, my work moved me to his metro area. Last I heard, his W had no idea I lived here now. Do she could potentially be REALLY shocked if she sees us here. FML right now Sounds like you each have parted ways and are working towards mending the marriages you stepped out from. Be good to yourself and delete that Old email account. Move forward. The past need not hinder all that you are working towards fixing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Don't let him ruin this for you. Don't give him that much power over you and your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenPrincess Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 Thank you guys. I am trying to hold it together & you are literally my lifeline. My H has been getting us rounds of drinks so I can't avoid it. He refuses to leave yet because this is so fun (!). I had this awful/genius idea to text him just a hi or something if he walks by alone. I hate that I am suffering alone here while he has a great time. Although maybe this is my (very minimal) taste of HIS life after 1.5 DDays. Great I think I'm at least buzzed now too :/ Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 bP, Stop that thinking. Stop Do not freaking text that guy! Do not. He is out with his wife, just like you are out with your H. IF he saw you, and you hadn't seen him, he could be thinking the same thing you are (about having fun with his spouse). Enjoy your spouse and STOP obsessing over him!! Is ruining your MARRIAGE over him worth it??? I agree - delete the account. Quit holding onto it. Delete everything from him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Thank you guys. I am trying to hold it together & you are literally my lifeline. My H has been getting us rounds of drinks so I can't avoid it. He refuses to leave yet because this is so fun (!). I had this awful/genius idea to text him just a hi or something if he walks by alone. I hate that I am suffering alone here while he has a great time. Although maybe this is my (very minimal) taste of HIS life after 1.5 DDays. Great I think I'm at least buzzed now too :/ OMG! NO!!! Don't text him! You will be glad you didn't tomorrow. Don't! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 His wife has no reason to recognize you where you are if you don't make eye contact because she only saw pictures of you and she doesn't expect you to be there. Stop freaking out, let him and his stupid selfies go and carry on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Thank you guys. I am trying to hold it together & you are literally my lifeline. My H has been getting us rounds of drinks so I can't avoid it. He refuses to leave yet because this is so fun (!). I had this awful/genius idea to text him just a hi or something if he walks by alone. I hate that I am suffering alone here while he has a great time. Although maybe this is my (very minimal) taste of HIS life after 1.5 DDays. Great I think I'm at least buzzed now too :/ Whatever you do, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT text him. That's a 99% sure way of creating your own D Day in public for your husband. If his wife sees the text or if he really wanted to mess up your life, all he has to do is show her the text and boom! Your H would know the truth in 30 seconds. You're letting xMM ruin your night. Don't give him that power. Make the decision you're done and make yourself get over it. He has, you must too! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 bP, Stop that thinking. Stop Do not freaking text that guy! Do not. He is out with his wife, just like you are out with your H. IF he saw you, and you hadn't seen him, he could be thinking the same thing you are (about having fun with his spouse). Enjoy your spouse and STOP obsessing over him!! Is ruining your MARRIAGE over him worth it??? I agree - delete the account. Quit holding onto it. Delete everything from him. ^This! And, for your own sanity, delete his name and number out of your phone! Absolutely NO need whatsoever to have it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenPrincess Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 Ok you guys are making sense. I'm not going to text him, he has no idea in here. I'm watching his W have an AWESOME time. My H wants to leave & enjoy some much overdue alone time with no kids. I just feel really really sad right now. Our A was all about major effort to try to see each other and now that it's completely over, here we are, 109s of feet apart& I can't help missing him. Damn tears welling up. I feel like everyone's ended up happy post A except me Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Ok you guys are making sense. I'm not going to text him, he has no idea in here. I'm watching his W have an AWESOME time. My H wants to leave & enjoy some much overdue alone time with no kids. I just feel really really sad right now. Our A was all about major effort to try to see each other and now that it's completely over, here we are, 109s of feet apart& I can't help missing him. Damn tears welling up. I feel like everyone's ended up happy post A except me BP, hugs to you. And little loving swift nudge - You need to get over him and the fact he's moved on. Of course he's having fun with his wife. You were having fun with your husband before you noticed him! And now you're nearly in tears, sulking and hoping for things that shouldn't happen and should be left in the past. You're taking for granted the fact that you are damn lucky his wife DID NOT contact your husband and create a D Day! Tomorrow, brush yourself off and make a decision. Either you do your best to really let go and make yourself get over him and the affair so you can feel happier again or you choose to wallow and miss him for the rest of your life. All the meanwhile he's not thinking of you at all. He's happy and moved on. What isn't good or nice is how much you've allowed him to still be in your heart and head and what you're doing to yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrokenPrincess Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 Ok we're back at the hotel. No DDay. They never saw me tonight. I'm now secretly crying in our hotel bathroom. I wish I was with him, having a great time at the event. Instead I am just a rejected ugly mess. My marriage is forced & doomed. I will never feel as happy as when I was with him. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 That is so sad. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Get some rest, clear your head and then figure out where you want to go from here. Hopefully things will look up for you in the am. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PreciousOne Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 It's ok to feel sad about this situation with you being unhappy and missing him. Regardless of what KIND of relationship you had with him whether wrong or right, you have to right to feel sad. Seeing someone you love(d) and were happy with being happy with someone else is painful. As the days go on and the distance increases it will get easier. I see my exMM on a daily basis and although we don't communicate and its awkward it's becoming easier. Hang in there BrokenPrincess, there is happiness after The A. Happiness doesn't always come from others. Pray for happiness, God is good and can do anything!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 My pardons for giving advisal. I just now became aware thru this montage of postings that the OP is in mourning for her beloved affair partner. Is this how ladies recover from their indiscretions? I thought she was working towards mending her marriage...? Confused in how to take this news... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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