what is friendship..

[lovemachine]

Pardon this djungle-text. I am not a super social person, I think I'm just like any average person but I have not had a friend, that I would consider.. a true friend for about 12 years or something. I have a pretty easy time getting to know new people, but its either work-friends, uni-friends or internet-friends - which I wouldn't really consider friends but I do talk online a lot cos I like to write. And I have been happy with that because well, having that is better than having nothing. Recently I was invited to someone from uni, with some other people I know from there (we had never met like that before, not uni-related but we are close at uni) These people all have things in common, that I don't really share which made me realize that they're not that close to me.. I just wanted to get out of there after a while. Same thing happened a year ago with other people from uni. It basically drove us further apart. Now I have a bf who has "better" friends than I do, people he can talk to and do all his favourite things with.. And when he's off partying with people from work I've rarely got anyone to talk to. I just don't click with anyone beside him; because I've known many many people, but I guess my interests are a bit strange, or my personality I don't know, I don't like partying anyway. Yes I do have activities outside of work/uni but its not the best place to make friends, and most are not my agegroup. I am worried it's gonna be an awkward (future) wedding.. maybe its all my own fault, maybe im not tolerant or nice enough.

[jbelle6]

Pardon this djungle-text. I am not a super social person, I think I'm just like any average person but I have not had a friend, that I would consider.. a true friend for about 12 years or something. I have a pretty easy time getting to know new people, but its either work-friends, uni-friends or internet-friends - which I wouldn't really consider friends but I do talk online a lot cos I like to write. And I have been happy with that because well, having that is better than having nothing. Recently I was invited to someone from uni, with some other people I know from there (we had never met like that before, not uni-related but we are close at uni) These people all have things in common, that I don't really share which made me realize that they're not that close to me.. I just wanted to get out of there after a while. Same thing happened a year ago with other people from uni. It basically drove us further apart. Now I have a bf who has "better" friends than I do, people he can talk to and do all his favourite things with.. And when he's off partying with people from work I've rarely got anyone to talk to. I just don't click with anyone beside him; because I've known many many people, but I guess my interests are a bit strange, or my personality I don't know, I don't like partying anyway. Yes I do have activities outside of work/uni but its not the best place to make friends, and most are not my agegroup. I am worried it's gonna be an awkward (future) wedding.. maybe its all my own fault, maybe im not tolerant or nice enough.

 

 

 

I have interests that are very different than any of my friends but I can still make connections with people. I do take a while to warm up to/get used to people at first, so I'm never the type to have a ton of friends, but I have a few real close ones.

 

Have you considered talking to someone about this? Could be some social anxiety going on. I used to panic a bit in new settings or meeting new people. I was deathly shy. My wedding was horrible, just having to be up in front of people was torture. Once I started cognitive behavior therapy a lot of thoughts that used to race through my head calmed down a lot.

 

Maybe you could check out some CBT books to start?