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How can I become emotionally available?


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It's taken me a long time, but I finally realize why I've always been single. I am only attracted to unavailable men; the only man I ever loved was unattainable (love was reciprocated -complicated story) for a relationship, and I truly believe if he suddenly was, I'd lose interest. And all other men I've ever been involved with have also been emotionally unavailable. Whenever a guy shows real interest I am mortified and find reasons to justify not being into him.

 

I've always been obsessed with the idea of love, and time after time I have justified losing interest in someone because of the idea that he wasn't the "right guy." I know this perfect guy doesn't exist, and to allow myself to fall in love I have to let go of this image and forget what people would think of me.

 

This is turning out to be tremendously challenging for my ego, it's hard to change. I don't know how. Problem is I've only realized all of this because I have met the greatest guy, and not only that but we really click. And I feel myself finding faults with him, and I really don't want to f*ck this up.

Edited by missyou123
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The faults are not with the guys, the problem is you don't think your good enough for a nice guy. They really like you and that freaks you out because you fear once they know the real you,past honeymoon phrase they'll go off you. So you get in there first, pick holes in them until you have enough excuses to ditch the guy.

 

How to be emotionally available. Figure out why you feel you're not good enough for a great guy.

 

Try to start with becoming aware of your own true emotions and now you're feeling, not just about dating. Reflections is good, once you're comfortable with yourself you can start sharing your feeling with him, allowing yourself sometimes be emotionally vulnerable isn't a bad thing.

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