Tonia2 Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 I agree that it doesn't exist, and I don't think we should seek it. I think that the values that I described are so much more important (obviously there has to be chemistry too). It annoys me that people keep abandoning great relationships in pursuit of something so elusive and transient. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 Originally posted by Tonia2 It annoys me that people keep abandoning great relationships in pursuit of something so elusive and transient. It annoys me too... especially since at least half the time it's me being the stupid one. There is one girl in particular I kick myself for having let go. Stupid boy! I'm trying to get to the bottom of why I do this Link to post Share on other sites
_Saffy_ Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo It annoys me too... especially since at least half the time it's me being the stupid one. There is one girl in particular I kick myself for having let go. Stupid boy! I'm trying to get to the bottom of why I do this you should make sure that the next gal you feel remotely interested in is the one you hold on to Link to post Share on other sites
Author cg9328 Posted March 4, 2005 Author Share Posted March 4, 2005 [font=arial][/font][color=black][/color] Thank you all for your advice. Ok now the tough part. I have pretty much put everything out there. Which for me is a huge step. I haven't been the one to share my feelings with complete strangers, but now I don't feel that way. Now that you have read everything I have said, What you think the chances are of me and my love getting back together? I don't know if this is a fair question but I felt I needed to ask it. Link to post Share on other sites
strange love Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 it kills me when i read about these people that pretty much have thier ex back or are inches away from it and dont realize it. Maybe im just jealous since I only ever get the tough stuff to deal with. Let me tell you a few things 1. your ex is calling you 2. your ex is talking to you about intimate issues your not sure if you will get back with her..um DUH yes sure you can... but its unfortunate you dont know how, and even if I were to suggest what to do im not sure you would. I guess think of it this way. 1. be thankful thats its not worse 2. realize the progress you have made 3. be suave btw if she talking to you alot thats good thats how females convey intimacy. Just dont get mushy on her.. let her do that. got it? are you guys going on a date anytime soon? whoops no hang out.. Heres another piece of advice I think when she starts talking about the relationship maybe you should try saying.. im really not sure if i want a relationship anymore... trust me on this.. well goodluck Link to post Share on other sites
Author cg9328 Posted March 4, 2005 Author Share Posted March 4, 2005 [font=arial][/font][color=black][/color] Strange if you think you can help me by telling me how to proceed then by all means tell me !!!! And yes we are going on a date, also on this date I will be staying at her place that night.As for hanging out thats kinda hard since she is 200 miles away...I don't want to come across a rude and I really do appreciate your advice. I will take what you have already said and try and use it. If you have anything else then by all means tell me.I will take anything you have to say......... Link to post Share on other sites
strange love Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 200 miles hmm Let me ask you this Are you ready to move out there to be with her? or is she ready to move back? and why did she move away ? btw dont ask if she is ready to move back... just let her keep playing her cards. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cg9328 Posted March 4, 2005 Author Share Posted March 4, 2005 [font=arial][/font][color=black][/color] She is in school and yes she will be moving back once school is over..... Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 To tell you the truth, one reason I was starting to get scared was because it seemed like i had become your "everything"--basically, the only person you felt comfortable with, and the only one who got you out and about, kept you happy, gave you confidence, etc. she is scared of what might happen. She is scared of what will happen if she can't live up to your expectations and she ends up hurting you, and scared of what hurting you will do. This girl doesn't want you putting her at the center of your life up on a big pedestal and then pinning all your happiness onto her. I think she would like to be with you, but this is probably one of those things that is keeping her at a distance. No one likes being held responsible for another person's happiness: no matter how well intentioned it is. I think she's afraid that is she goes into a relationship that should she need to find the emergency exit doors, you won't be providing any - meaning she'll have to bust out and destroy your infrastructure on the way out. Its hard to let yourself fall in love and feel that "magic" spark for someone when you are afraid it might lead you into a trap that you can't easily get out of. Every relationship just like every building, every single one - has to have emergency exits. You may never need to use them, but if they aren't there - then the relationship can become a trap and if you need to make your exit and you can't then you will suffocate and die inside that relationship or you will destroy the person finding a way out. She seems happy with you, but I think part of what holds her back is that she needs for you to be more secure on your own and not just secure in the context of your relationship with her. She doesn't want to go into this knowing that your happiness and well being are entirely dependent on her (remember, she even said herself that she was not the most stable person). She needs to know that if the time comes to say 'goodbye' that you will be able to allow her access to the emergency exits. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cg9328 Posted March 4, 2005 Author Share Posted March 4, 2005 [font=arial][/font][color=black][/color] Thanks Lucrezia. I have since told her that yes I relied on her for support but she wasn't the only one. I think she realized that she wasn't the only one either. She is also a very stable person. I don't know why she would say something like that. To me she is stable because of her school schedule. I know at most she might sleep 4 hours at most when she is at school. Something deep down is telling me not to let her get away from me. She is my everything but she is not everything to me. If that makes sense. She know she means a lot to me and I will never let anything happen to her. Right now I'm just trying to give her the space she asked for. I'm trying not to contact her but it's so damn hard. I honestly think that with time she will find what she is looking for and will want to be with me like I want to be with her. Anyhow Thank you for the advice... Link to post Share on other sites
Author cg9328 Posted March 9, 2005 Author Share Posted March 9, 2005 [font=arial][/font][color=black][/color] Well it's been just over a month and a half since we separated now. I still feel the same way I did we we broke up. I would say if anything my feelings have only Goren stronger. I want to be with this girl and for some reason I think she wants to get back together. I dont know maybe its just me. When we talk on the phone it like nothing is wrong. She keeps bring up the relationship and so do I. Thats the reason I think she want to get back together. She is constantly telling me that she is having doubts about what she has done and that she isn't sure she made the right choice. Should I take this a sign that I need to make the move?? I know she thinks that my world centers around her and it does to a degree. I tried explaining to her that although I may say that she means everything to me that I dont mean "EVERYTHING". I hope that makes sense to you, I also think that she is starting to realize just how much we played role in each others lives. She has told me that she misses me and the last time we talked she said she loved me. Just the way she said make me think that she is in love with me and doesn't just love me like her mother or sisters. Maybe i'm the crazy one here but I can't get over her. Another thing is that we are going to a concert on the 20th and to save me from driving a ton that day I'm staying in her dorm with her. She told me she is scared of what might happen. She want I will still want to cuddle up next to you , fall asleep in your arms, kiss you ,hug you and just want you. What I told her was to just let things happen and if something happens. I dont know if that was the right thing to say but it felt right at the time. Well anywho she is in Mexico right now and curious to see if she will call me when she gets in on Saturday. If she does I think I will be my turn for the next move. If you think different let me know. I'm just playing it by ear here. Many people have also told me that if she is worth waiting for then wait and not to be upset if nothing works out. I'm defiantly going to that for a little bit but not too long. I will need to move on with my life but I need to know if there is a chance or not....just to keep my sanity. CG Link to post Share on other sites
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