Why do people think it's not worth to divorce over erotic massages?

[Pattiroxxi]

Fine he's messed up . . . but my point remains, why are you stlll there with him?

 

Well, this discussion has turned into something totally different to what i expected but to honestly answer your question i think i enjoy the fact of pleasing other guys behind his back. Idk i can't explain it but i think i will leave it how it is.

 

Tricky question here, would it be cheating if the client had an erotic massage with NO happy ending? if you answer correctly then you prove you read my post.

[HereNorThere]

And look, as bad as he may or may not have been, you have to admit you're as bad or worse. Is that something you are proud of? I mean, I don't know what you are trying to accomplish. Be the nice, sweet girl your Mom raised you to be and if you're guy is a douche, ditch him.

 

I know you're trying your hardest to rationalize your behavior, but there really is no justification. Even if he you beat you mercilessly, it's not a good reason to go blow strangers and lie about it. Relationships are not a contest to see who can be the worst person.

[d0nnivain]

Well, this discussion has turned into something totally different to what i expected but to honestly answer your question i think i enjoy the fact of pleasing other guys behind his back. Idk i can't explain it but i think i will leave it how it is.

 

Tricky question here, would it be cheating if the client had an erotic massage with NO happy ending? if you answer correctly then you prove you read my post.

 

It would be cheating to you because you think it's a very intimate act. I don't know what an erotic massage without a happy ending. If they are touching sex organs, it's a problem. If they aren't it's a regular massage, assuming the massuse is clothed & the client is covered.

 

The fact that you enjoy pleasing other men behind his back scares me about you. What is this turning you into?

[pteromom]

Most people would think an erotic massage is cheating. But some people are OK with it. The most important thing is to make sure you are on the same page about what the definition of cheating is.

 

But what you are doing is definitely cheating.

 

And here's the thing about cheating. You aren't cheating on HIM as much as you are cheating on yourself and your own values. If you believe cheating is wrong, and you believe he cheated, you should be walking out the door, not turning as bad as he is.

[Pattiroxxi]

Whoa, maybe I do owe you an apology. I thought that I read he was going to massage parlors and at the most getting happy endings. Having sex with prostitutes is a completely different story?

 

So which is it, massage parlors or having sexual intercourse with prostitutes?

 

 

To me it doesn't matter because he achieves orgasm from each service so where is the difference? he makes contact with the lady anyway so to me its all the same. Of course there are other ways people can achieve orgams during a massage, but hand to body contact is more intimate for me for some reason.

[KathyM]

I'd think about the big picture. 60% or so of men will go or have been to see an escort. You will dump him, then odds are it'll happen again with a new guy.

 

Best to look at the whole picture.

Actually, that percentage is 10% of men have been to see an escort. And hopefully she can choose a more honorable man with the next guy.

[Pattiroxxi]

It would be cheating to you because you think it's a very intimate act. I don't know what an erotic massage without a happy ending. If they are touching sex organs, it's a problem. If they aren't it's a regular massage, assuming the massuse is clothed & the client is covered.

 

The fact that you enjoy pleasing other men behind his back scares me about you. What is this turning you into?

 

Ok, an erotic massage without happy ending means the client gets rubbed naked with amount of teasing on the backside area depending on the prostitute. That is cheating to me. I read reviews and the clients rarely get covered. As sad it is the massage is not legit, even if there is no happy ending. Good try though.

[alwayshere]

He is responsible for his bad choices.

 

You are resPossible for yours.

 

HE at least seems to have some sort of conscience.

[HereNorThere]

To me it doesn't matter because he achieves orgasm from each service so where is the difference? he makes contact with the lady anyway so to me its all the same. Of course there are other ways people can achieve orgams during a massage, but hand to body contact is more intimate for me for some reason.

 

I think the key words to looks for in this are "TO ME"

 

You can dream up whatever you like and say, "oh, to me this" but you can't make up your own scientific facts. It is a fact that oral sex spreads sexually transmitted infections more than skin to skin contact due to open mucous membranes and bodily flood. What you are doing much more dangerous to BOTH of you.

 

I know you are trying, but you can't make up your own facts. It is a FACT that what you are doing is pretty messed up.

[HereNorThere]

Maybe oral is different where you live. I hear the bonobos use oral sex like a handshake. Is it like a handshake where you live?

[Pattiroxxi]

I think the key words to looks for in this are "TO ME"

 

You can dream up whatever you like and say, "oh, to me this" but you can't make up your own scientific facts. It is a fact that oral sex spreads sexually transmitted infections more than skin to skin contact due to open mucous membranes and bodily flood. What you are doing much more dangerous to BOTH of you.

 

I know you are trying, but you can't make up your own facts. It is a FACT that what you are doing is pretty messed up.

 

I'd have to agree but i am using a condom, and get checked often, so no worries. I am safe and keep it moderate.

[KathyM]

Whoa, maybe I do owe you an apology. I thought that I read he was going to massage parlors and at the most getting happy endings. Having sex with prostitutes is a completely different story?

 

So which is it, massage parlors or having sexual intercourse with prostitutes?

Women who give "happy ending massages" are prostitutes. They are selling sexual services for a fee.

[Pattiroxxi]

Maybe oral is different where you live. I hear the bonobos use oral sex like a handshake. Is it like a handshake where you live?

 

 

Lol fortunately not. But here in England it's not considered as much of a deal as in America. People are just a little different in here. I lived here for six years so i think that is what it is .

[KathyM]

The OP should just leave the relationship. So much damage done to it by both people. What's the point in staying? To inflict more damage to each other? Good grief, just put this dead horse to rest.

[HereNorThere]

Lol fortunately not. But here in England it's not considered as much of a deal as in America. People are just a little different in here. I lived here for six years so i think that is what it is .

 

Meh, just depends on where you live in the U.S. Where I live, there's massage parlors, strip clubs, escort services, marijuana stores and probably a fair share of scorned girlfriends willing to blow you to get back at their crappy boyfriends. From my experience in England, it's actually much more liberal where I live. (liberal might not be the word for it, but it's def more f-ed up)

 

So anyway OP, it sounds like you're pissed, but honestly, aren't you a little upset with yourself? It sounds like you were a good girlfriend up until you were scorned, so quit it already. He didn't make you do anything, you did it. Now figure out what you're going to do, but PLEASE stop hurting yourself and other people.

 

He hurt you, I get it, but don't hurt yourself. You turned all that anger inwards and I can feel it eating away at you all the way from the other side of the pond.

[gettingstronger]

Here's how I see it- doesn't matter what others think-if you feel its a violation of your vows and a deal breaker than it is- I am in no position to tell anyone what they should or should not tolerate out of their spouse- I think we all need to be healthy, happy and honored-whatever that looks like for you is up to you-

[Michelle ma Belle]

Good grief! Well that's 10 minutes I'll never get back!

 

I started out favoring the OP but then quickly realized the extent of her issues with this guy and quite frankly I'm dumbfounded.

 

Cheating not cheating. It's six of one and half a dozen of the other. It's all irrelevant because this WHOLE thing is batsh*t CRAZY! Oh and did I mention insanely toxic?

 

Lord have mercy!

 

What are you STILL doing with this guy for f*ck's sake?!?!?!?!?!

 

Ugh.

[goodyblue]

So what? Two wrongs don't make a right.

 

Just break up with him already. He's never going to hurt the way you want him to.

 

NO NO NO!!! Don't break up with him you two are clearly meant for one another and should stay together forever. Just don't ever ever have kids

 

Good luck!!

[Chi townD]

I'd have to agree but i am using a condom, and get checked often, so no worries. I am safe and keep it moderate.

 

 

 

 

Can't say I believe this. Cheaters rarely use protection and I have a hard time seeing you use condom each and every time. Also, and not have your boyfriend notice a pack of condoms in your purse or a receipt.

 

 

And I assume that these other men return the favor to you? Are you wearing a dental dam with them every single time? Because they can pass something onto you.

[Pattiroxxi]

Can't say I believe this. Cheaters rarely use protection and I have a hard time seeing you use condom each and every time. Also, and not have your boyfriend notice a pack of condoms in your purse or a receipt.

 

 

And I assume that these other men return the favor to you? Are you wearing a dental dam with them every single time? Because they can pass something onto you.[/Q

 

Well, i will be honest here, yes i sometimes receive the service back, but not often. I don't want to go too far, and yes i am very careful. I know what i am doing.

 

Pleas people, i don't want to discuss my relationship on this thread, that's not the purpose of this thread...

[MidwestUSA]

Well, this discussion has turned into something totally different to what i expected but to honestly answer your question i think i enjoy the fact of pleasing other guys behind his back. Idk i can't explain it

 

Since the trauma of his happy endings destroyed your academics, why not just make this ^^^^^ your occupation? After you dump your boyfriend, of course. Maybe he can then become a client. Win/win.

 

Lord knows I'd love to get paid for doing something I enjoy.

 

 

Curious, what does the fact that these women were OLDER have to do with anything? Or that he lost his virginity to a married woman? You seem to have a lot of hangups over the who/how/whats of cheating. Hand jobs are more intimate than intercourse? (If I read between the lines correctly) What about a hand job with a condom on? Less intimate? I'm so confused.

[goodyblue]

Can't say I believe this. Cheaters rarely use protection and I have a hard time seeing you use condom each and every time. Also, and not have your boyfriend notice a pack of condoms in your purse or a receipt.

 

 

And I assume that these other men return the favor to you? Are you wearing a dental dam with them every single time? Because they can pass something onto you.

 

I am going to object to this only because my relationship began as an affair and we used protection.

[Pattiroxxi]

Since the trauma of his happy endings destroyed your academics, why not just make this ^^^^^ your occupation? After you dump your boyfriend, of course. Maybe he can then become a client. Win/win.

 

Lord knows I'd love to get paid for doing something I enjoy.

 

 

Curious, what does the fact that these women were OLDER have to do with anything? Or that he lost his virginity to a married woman? You seem to have a lot of hangups over the who/how/whats of cheating. Hand jobs are more intimate than intercourse? (If I read between the lines correctly) What about a hand job with a condom on? Less intimate? I'm so confused.

 

Please, I might have gotten a 2:2 instead of a first but that doesn't mean I can't

Find a decent job. Again read my first post and you will understand it's something more than just a handjob. Anything sexual associated with the massage is a deal breaker for me.

Yes I am strict when it comes to cheating. You should watch a happy massage first because I can't demonstrate to you or anyone on here what I am talking about. I tried my best.

[goodyblue]

Since the trauma of his happy endings destroyed your academics, why not just make this ^^^^^ your occupation? After you dump your boyfriend, of course. Maybe he can then become a client. Win/win.

 

Lord knows I'd love to get paid for doing something I enjoy.

 

 

Curious, what does the fact that these women were OLDER have to do with anything? Or that he lost his virginity to a married woman? You seem to have a lot of hangups over the who/how/whats of cheating. Hand jobs are more intimate than intercourse? (If I read between the lines correctly) What about a hand job with a condom on? Less intimate? I'm so confused.

 

Omg!! Last three sentences!! And the quote of the day goes to...

[goodyblue]

Please, I might have gotten a 2:2 instead of a first but that doesn't mean I can't

Find a decent job. Again read my first post and you will understand it's something more than just a handjob. Anything sexual associated with the massage is a deal breaker for me.

Yes I am strict when it comes to cheating. You should watch a happy massage first because I can't demonstrate to you or anyone on here what I am talking about. I tried my best.

 

Face it, you are two peas in a pod. Your actions are scarier in my opinion.