LordVader Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 There's this girl I've liked on looks from day 1 last summer. Now we are on talking terms. Problem is now I'm way to hooked on her, before I even know a thing about her. So for once I'm trying to avoid a crush (on a girl I don't know at all). So yes keep meeting other girls, etc. But how do I play it cool enough with this girl ? I know if I keep talking to her, this near crush will be full on. But I also want to make a good enough impression that she also knows I'm ok, and not crazy, or incapable of talking to her. Thats my biggest worry, she will think I'm that beta that I can't talk to her. Well I can, but just not at this point without my 'feelings' growing more. But I know its inadvisable to tell her I almost have a crush on her (just based on her beauty)...........although I could so EASILY tell her (I'm alpha like that) How to deal with that delima ??????????? I want to talk to her, leave a good impression, not just be friendzoned, NOT GET A CRUSH, and also avoid her so as to not get the crush:confused: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 The thing with with avoidance is that the more you avoid the harder it will get and further away to confront. As a woman who believes men should step up and just say how they feel or what they want, it isnt a positive trait for a man to avoid a simple interaction such as conversation, if man cant stand to say hello how can he stand when its time to say goodbye. I have often myself wanted to avoid such confrontations,and other confrontations that i actually knew were going to be of a distressing nature to me, however i didnt afford myself the luxury or pander to my fears, even though in all likelihood it didnt bode well in the end, and believe me many times i have been afraid of the outcome, rightly so, i had no choice but to stand, I had to stand for there were people standing behind me Fear is your enemy not the conversation, and really not the person in front of you , not the crush you have on her, but your own fear is killer What I do when facing something or someone i am afraid of is....i square my shoulders, take a deep breath or two or however many I need to take, ask god to give me wisdom and strength straight from my heart, and then i succeed, there is no failure for me, there is no allowance of failure to enter or reside in my head, i treat whomever i am facing a a friend until they prove otherwise, and if i cop some hits my shoulders are squared, I stand at ease so my feet apart to give stability and my legs wont shake for they often do, and is relax my frame, squared shoulders is not shoulders around your ears.I dont speak softly so they might not hear what i have to say and I smile not only with my mouth but my eyes.If i have faced people who I should be concerned of, ill turn my body to the side when i talk to them so that if i take. abuse it doesn't hit me square in the face and I will make that stance to defend my self, blows glance off to the side..... But.....you are not facing someone who is going to abuse you, or ridicule you, you are simply facing a girl of whom you feel for, a nice girl in all likelihood, who would wonder why you would avoid her...... so don't avoid...... let your fear take over and there is no hope, step up, square your shoulders, keep the conversation light, throw a prayer up from your heart and you will know what to say, smile and treat her as you would a close friend. there's no fear there to be had to swallow, in a close friendship or their intentions towards you are not in any way damaging. Breed fear and it multiplies quickly , avoid and you will continue to avoid, face it and it will be easier to face next time, even soldiers with kick ass guns get afraid so you are in good company,but you sir, really have nothing to fear so you can do it, deep breaths pray ....and step up....that's alpha........there's always a chain of command to help you out, find it with a simple prayer first, it is actually calming and all soldiers believe it or not send prayers to above when facing a situation that is uncertain......i guarantee it because i have watched them close their eyes for a matter of seconds and reopen them with faith and there is no failure.......people dont become alphas ....they always werre alphas who ddnt let fear rule their hearts and minds...theres always a higher power that is waiting to help you out so use it........deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LordVader Posted July 9, 2014 Author Share Posted July 9, 2014 Thanks. Well I think the week after writing that, I told her sorry for weirding her out in the past, just by looking at her too often type thing. And I added in a compliment. And I was real smooth about it, and not at all nervous, even thop it was in a crowd of people, and I'm pretty syre her BF was feet away (pretty sure she has 1) She was the 1 that either wanted to run away a bit nervous, or just didn't want to hear it at all. Now I want to give her a proper compliment next time, or ask her something about herself. Now I really wouldn't be surprised if I get a big adrenaline rush next time we meet. Worst thing is, I still assume she thinks I'm all creepy, even tho she reached out to me in a way. But that puts me in a super bad mindset, like I'm in trouble with her. What does she interpret that as, idk, but not good, and to my weirdness. And I'm a loner, no friends, no status, no parties to take her to, etc. But I talked to a few beautiful girls at bars lately, and its my "feelings" for her that made it seem way easier. So a lot of good will come from that direction at least. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 You already have some attraction so stop pu$$y-footing around & ask her on a date. Newsflash: a date is not a commitment. It's a scheduled activity so that two people can get to know each other in a romantic -- non-friends -- setting. Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Take a shot, ask her out you never know what might happen Link to post Share on other sites
phatt matt Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 I can't help you but I would say avoid clinginedd snd a crush like the plague. It seems you already know that. I just lost the friend who I admired more than anything today and it was because of my obsession with her, my thinking that she was the most incredible thing in the whole world, without even really knowing much about her. Now I realize I dont know her. Thought I did. but at the same time I had many reasons to think the world of this girl. It wasn't just a drop dead gorgeous chick. she had all sorts of incredible qualities. I ruined it because I became obsessed with her. for now I am in agony but I'm sure time will heal this wound. I'm sure good will come out of it. she doesn't even want to talk to me. Link to post Share on other sites
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