Am I doing everything all wrong?

[Natalie]

Sometimes I wonder: "Why am I like this?" I, when I'm in love, gives way too much of myself to the other one. People say that it is wrong, because I am making myself very vulnerable that way and will end up hurt. But I just can not be another way. It is my character. If I I love someone, I give it my best shot, with 100% everything. But I always end up with the shortest end of the rope. People say I'm very charming, sweet, loyal, generous, friendly and all the good things, but I was very lonely for a long time. Now I have a boyfriend and I still feel that I am not getting what I deserve for all the efforts. I sometimes look at other girls, who are totally opposite. And they are married, they have their husband committed to them. So is it something that I am doing wrong?????

[xxxImaginaryloverxxx]

I know deffintly how u feel. now ive only ever been in love maybe once before the guy im with now. but when i am i give everything i have to him. but only after being confident that the guy is that much in love with me as i am him. if hes not then i dont really give as much. u both have to be in total and complete love to get it bac. and ill admitt i dont get wut i want all of the time but when i do its awsome. u gotta understand that hes a guy. girls are way more compasionate and emothional then guys are. u can still give 100% and i garuntee he loves it but he is not going to be the same. its just a guy thing. he'll give u 100% somtimes. just not all the time like we can. now if he isent giving ne thing then talk to him. tell him u feel that u give so much more then he can and just reasure urself that he feels the same way about u that u do about him. now if he doesnt at this point in time. back off a little untill ur relationship grows more. u'll eventually get what you want.

[Pocky]

Originally posted by Natalie

So is it something that I am doing wrong?????

 

Hard to say if you're doing something wrong. What are your expectations of the other person? If you have unrealistic expectations of a relationship then you may always find yourself dissatisfied.

[Natalie]

OK, look for instance...we've been together for more than 2 years now. A baby is on its way. Just 1.5 months from today. I wish that he would ask me to get married. He said he loves me. He looks very happy with me. He always wanted to have a baby with me. I, on the other hand, wasn't really ready for a baby. But hey, I'm 34 years old, and so much in love with him. My biological clock is thicking. I want him to be happy, so there, I got pregnant.

 

We live together and I help him with many things. Emotionally, financially, anything you can think of. I don't like to see him sad or worried. I'd jump in and I'll try to take that away from him in any way I possibly can. I can not say I'm a bad person. Sometimes I feel like I'm too good... ...It sounds weird right? But I would do anything, more than any girl would do for her man.

 

I have saved up some money. Even though we're not married, I, without thinking twice, took $2,000.00 out from my savings to help him with a payment. And I don't even ask him anything like when he's going to pay me back or anything. I consider it to be a gesture of love. He's worried, he's without a job temporarily....I can't see him like that, so here, what's mine is his...put a smile on his face and he's happy = I'm happy.

 

I always put my own needs aside for his needs. I know that's wrong? But why? Can I possibly change?

[Pocky]

You got pregnant by the married man you're living with?

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t57017/

[Natalie]

Yes

[Pocky]

Ever think that maybe the reason why you aren't treated the way you should be treated is because you're dating men that are incapable of acting like adults in a relationship?

 

Living with a married man and his baby on the way. Isn't it about time he got a divorce so that you're more than just the woman he's living with and screwing?