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Confused


Julia

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I am so confused. I have been going out with is guy for about 4 months know and we seem to be very good friends. I feel that there are a lot of positives going on in the relationship. For example, calling me at home after I leave his house to make sure i got home okay, calling me from his work at home when he gets a chance, calling almost nightly or everyother night, encouraging, hugging and kissing on the lips only when we say goodbye to each other when we part, there are just a lot of little things that I feel that he would'n't do if he didn't like me and for the first thing I don't feel that we would have made it to four months. I just don't know. T his realtionship think is hard. I am kind of scared about Valentine's Day, because I don't know what to expect. I sent him a card as I do any friend, but I would like it to be more than friends, I know what I want, but I am not sure what his intentions are. This is my first real relationship or going to be at age 25, i never really dated, becasue I never really found any one that was worth while. I feel so vulnerable in this situation. I don't know what to expect. I am scared, what about that first french kiss and when will i know that the simple kiss will lead to more. I don't know. I guess i kind of think in the old work and feel that he should ingsitage the kiss I don;t know. Please someone help

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No help necessary. Everybody goes through this. It's just part of life. Everybody gets nervous and concerned about these things the first time out. That's what makes life great.

 

Let things be spontaneous. Part of the joy is not knowing what will happen when.

 

At some point, you will have to ask him exactly what his feelings are. I think that's pretty important. You can't go on forever not knowing. And you have to be completely prepared for whatever he says. Sure it's scarry...real scarry sometimes.

 

Welcome to the joyous world of romantic love!!!

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Like Tony said, it's okay to be nervous about all this -- almost everyone, male or female, has gone or will go through the feelings you describe. I know I have!

 

In addition, don't sweat Valentine's Day too much. I get the impression from your post that if he does nothing really exceptional for Valentine's you'll get nervous that he doesn't feel as strongly for you as you do for him (this isn't true -- some guys look at Valentine's as just another annoying Hallmark Holiday and feel uncomfortable doing anything because of the outrageous expectations that come with that date on the calendar). At the same time, if he DOES do something exceptional you'll be just as nervous because you'll worry about how to react, and about what might come next. This isn't a lose-lose scenario! When you think like that, there's just too much pressure on both of you.

 

Despite all the hype that surrounds it, Valentine's Day is just one of 365 days in the year. I don't think you need to be any more nervous on Valentine's than on any other day. You've been with this guy for four months, he sounds very nice, and I doubt he's going to put you in any awkward or really uncomfortable situation if he can help it. Heck, he may be as nervous as you are.

 

Cheers!

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Catt (a.k.a. :))
Like Tony said, it's okay to be nervous about all this -- almost everyone, male or female, has gone or will go through the feelings you describe. I know I have! In addition, don't sweat Valentine's Day too much. I get the impression from your post that if he does nothing really exceptional for Valentine's you'll get nervous that he doesn't feel as strongly for you as you do for him (this isn't true -- some guys look at Valentine's as just another annoying Hallmark Holiday and feel uncomfortable doing anything because of the outrageous expectations that come with that date on the calendar). At the same time, if he DOES do something exceptional you'll be just as nervous because you'll worry about how to react, and about what might come next. This isn't a lose-lose scenario! When you think like that, there's just too much pressure on both of you. Despite all the hype that surrounds it, Valentine's Day is just one of 365 days in the year. I don't think you need to be any more nervous on Valentine's than on any other day. You've been with this guy for four months, he sounds very nice, and I doubt he's going to put you in any awkward or really uncomfortable situation if he can help it. Heck, he may be as nervous as you are. Cheers!
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What's Swoon? I don't know what you're talking about, so I guess I can't be the Owl you're thinking of! Oh well. I'm just another smiling guy from Ontario. I hope that's not too much of a let-down! :)

 

Have a nice day... and seriously, what is Swoon? You've got to tell me, 'cause now I'm really curious!

 

Cheers!

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Well, you may not be Owl from Swoon but you are a fellow Ontarian :)

 

Swoon was another relationship board which closed down about a month ago. I thought you were someone I knew from there. Sorry for the inconvenience.

What's Swoon ? I don't know what you're talking about, so I guess I can't be the Owl you're thinking of! Oh well. I'm just another smiling guy from Ontario. I hope that's not too much of a let-down! :) Have a nice day... and seriously, what is Swoon ? You've got to tell me, 'cause now I'm really curious! Cheers!
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