"you'll find another boyfriend soon!" said my ex!

[CailinPig]

So, I was on loveshack starting from I guess about 2008. My bf broke up with me in 2007 and I remember one of the things he said was "You're a great girl, you'll find someone else really soon!"

Cue 7 years later! Haha! Here I am, 29 years old now and still eternally single! God, back then I was only 22, still slim and young and fairly naive. Now I'm facing 30 in the face and more weighty than 7 years ago!

I look back at my 22 year old self though and feel so sad that I was so heartbroken. It took me about 5 years to get over the break up. That's your twenties for ya!

Anyway, I guess I have no point with this except to say; you never think, as a 22 year old girl that your 29 year old self will have been single 7 years. Especially as I just came out of a longterm relationship.

Anyway, your twenties are so hard. I wonder are the thirties easier? Who knows? Hopefully, the 30's are full of relationships for me! I've spent enough time in purgatory!

[d0nnivain]

Everyone heals at their own pace.

 

 

For many people they come into their own in their 30s. Because they are more secure & knowledgeable about who they are & what they want from life & a partner, it's a place to be when looking for an LTR.

 

Best wishes.

[EverLastluv]

I know where you comming from. I was sepperated in my twentys conuld not find that special soneone waitied for over 8 years .I Try a different relationship but still no luck lol I will leave it in God hands All the best!

[oldshirt]

I am 50 years old and married with two kids, brand new construction house in the nicer part of the suburbs, Harley in the garage etc etc.

 

I have very few regrets in life but I do have a couple. When I was 18 I had been with my first love for a year when she started cheating on me and then basically held me on a string and kept me on the shelf while she dallied around trying to decide what to do while she was two-timing two guys. I played her game and chased her around like a love sick puppy dog and got thrown a few bones to keep me hooked for another year before she decided I had entertained her enough and she dumped me for good.

 

I fiddle-farted around for another year before I dated anyone else.

 

Fast forward a couple more years and I am 22 and had been dating another gal for over a year that I was truly in love with and thought was "the one".

 

She was a few years younger though and discovered partying and screwing around and once again I was fighting to hang on to her and "save our relationship." And once again I put my life on hold pining for someone that was not giving me the time of day.

 

I had learned my lesson though and I only lined over her for a month before cutting the ties and moving on. .....and move on I did :-D

 

So now looking back, my only regrets are that the day I saw their true colors I didn't say, "OK see ya!" And walked away and started living again that moment.

 

I'll never put my life on hold for another person again.

 

Over the years since then I've had several women dump me and I have dumped several others. I don't regret a single minute of throwing in the towel and walking away from an unsatisfactory relationship. I don't regret a minute of "not trying".

 

What I regret now at 50 years old is the seconds I wasted moping and pining for someone that didn't want me and that treated me bad.

 

My ex GF s also said I'd get a new great GF soon and that I'd meet some awesome gal and be very happy together.......and they were right!!! I did!

 

It didn't happen untill I was 31 though.

 

This is hard to explain but I don't for one minute regret it took me another decade to marry because in many ways that was the best decade of my life. What I regret is the time spent mourning the loss and I especially regret trying salvage dead relationships and wasting moments being depressed over it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm rambling over my own issues here but the point I want to make is don't spend one more minute wasting breath and wasting time over some guy that wasn't right for you all those years ago. Never look back, only look forward.

 

In twenty years you won't regret losing him. You'll regret losing yourself over him and wasting time pining over someone that wasn't right for you in the first place.

[CailinPig]

And here I am again, now into my thirties!! I'm turning 33 next week and turns out - nope still no relationship!! I've been single ten years!! Now I've had bits and pieces but nothing like a proper boyfriend! Lord knows! I give up! ?

[SammySammy]

Why haven't you had a relationship? Not looking? Didn't work out? What happened?

[Mysterio]

We all put way too much pressure on ourselves to find the perfect person or ideal situation. When I look at my friends around my age. Most of them did not have some master plan to meet their spouse. It just happened.

 

We in real life an on this board have to come tot he realization that we can't out think our love lives. We can't timetable anything to such an ideal personalized way, where it all goes our way 24 hours a day.

 

We should just focus on the other sides of our lives and cherish the freedom of not having a romantic relationship at this point. When we do get one. Its a maintanence that we will still have to figure to navigate. My parents are 77 yrs old and they still have to figure out each other and they have been married this coming fall 48 yrs.

[Mysterio]

I am personally trying to stay away from asking out women on dates and trying to find out about this girl and that girl. I will be friendly. Unless I get major buying signals. I am not trying to be with any women that comes across my field of vision.

 

I think that we all must believe in ourselves and say its not big deal to be single. There are just some things that can't happen in our lives if we were always attached.

[preraph]

I think the twenties are when we waste the most time waiting for someone because we're not wise enough to know that not everything is meant to be. We are naive and idealistic and just think things are supposed to turn outright. The hardest thing is when you realize life isn't always that kind.

 

Whether the 30s are easier depends on the person and whether they are still as focused on finding love or not. I know for me my crowd kind of broke up in my early 30s and left me with a less exciting period of time and not having as many available close friends. But then my career kind of peaked then and was very very interesting and fulfilling but the days of the real close crowd and more meaningful relationships was passed.

 

So my best advice going into your 30s is to be sure you have other focuses and interest in life besides just Romance to fall back on.

[Cookiesandough]

I sure hope to heavens it's easier. .

Edited August 5, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[OatsAndHall]

I initially hated dating my thirties for a number of reasons. But, I realized that the few relationships I have had (I'm 37) have been far deeper and more meaningful than those I had in my youth. I have taken my lumps, learned from them, and grown as a person and am more comfortable in my own skin. I have a much better idea of what I want out of life and what I need in a relationship and it has made the dating world more palatable for me. In my twenties, I was almost always out looking for a date and never became truly comfortable with being alone. Now, I enjoy my solitude and am happier because I'm not focused on finding a relationship.

 

And, I have found that dating older women has been more enjoyable for me as they too have more life experience. The communication is generally better and the interactions are more meaningful as there's a higher maturity level.

[kazen]

And here I am again, now into my thirties!! I'm turning 33 next week and turns out - nope still no relationship!! I've been single ten years!! Now I've had bits and pieces but nothing like a proper boyfriend! Lord knows! I give up! ?

 

Let's try to figure out why. What do you do with your free time on your days off from work? Give me a typical day off routine.