My BMI and dating

[R3d]

My BMI fluctuates between 19.0 and 19.5. Is that too skinny and will it be detrimental to my attractiveness to women?

Edited June 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[preraph]

It's just under normal, so I'm going to say yes, to some women. Eat more.

[MidwestUSA]

You're fine. You've got room to grow.

[R3d]

It's just under normal, so I'm going to say yes, to some women. Eat more.

 

I eat a lot man. I almost always fully indulge myself.

 

Anyway, why did they change the "Consolidated Discussion" title to this? Is there a rule that only moderators can start consolidated discussions? I thought, because weight seems to be a topic that comes up a lot like height, that I would just start the thread in the similar fashion as the height one.

[somedude81]

I eat a lot man. I almost always fully indulge myself.

Is there a rule that only moderators can start consolidated discussions?

 

Yes.

 

Anyways, dude you're 16.

 

Stop freaking out so much about your body.

[PegNosePete]

BMI is not a good way to judge this kind of thing. It very much depends how you carry the weight.

 

The reason being, because BMI is reverse-correlation. It was noticed as a trend that healthy people tend to have a BMI of between 18.5 and 25. That does not mean everyone with a BMI between 18.5 and 25 is healthy, or that all healthy people have a BMI between 18.5 and 25. Sure it's a general guideline but don't place too much weight on it.

 

Why the Body Mass Index (BMI) is a Poor Measure of Your Health | Obesity Panacea

 

My BMI is under 19 and I am frequently complimented that I look younger than a few years ago (when BMI was 25). But many people look older when they are skinnier. Everyone is different.

[hasaquestion]

My BMI fluctuates between 19.0 and 19.5. Is that too skinny and will it be detrimental to my attractiveness to women?

 

Forget about girls and find a sport to play. Then you'll get in shape AND have fun in the process.

 

My suggestion? Try football if you're fast and your high school is in a "small pond" (lower level of competition) where you can get away with being small. The camaraderie is great, it'll teach you fitness habits and you'll have a lot of fun. You'll always be mediocre at it since you have a hard time tackling but you can get playing time on defense as a defensive back if you know your keys, can run with a receiver, and have the mental stuff down.

 

If you're not fast, do track! Lower barrier to entry and sprinting/lifting is a great way to get in shape. Plus, you can track your progress in the form of your times. Track coaches never say no to a kid who wants to show up work and be positive.

[Grumpybutfun]

Please work on your internals...like volunteering for a local shelter or serving meals via Meals on Wheels. You live inside your head and worry about shallow superficial things to an obsessive point. It doesn't matter what we look like, the right person sees the person we are internally and spiritually. You are very young so focus in your future....get fit for your health, make good grades so you can go to college or have a job you love, work on bonds with grandparents who won't live forever but can share with you their world, their history which in turn can make you see your tiny space a little differently. Have some fun, hang out with your friends, join a sports team, make some great memories, and read as much as you can. I had teenagers, I know it is so necessary to find your place in the social world, but the way you are going about it seems like self flagellation. You are being way too hard on yourself. We all looked a bit goofy at sixteen. You are more than your shell.

Good luck,

Grumps

[R3d]

Forget about girls and find a sport to play. Then you'll get in shape AND have fun in the process.

 

Does tennis count? I am actually planning on training quite a bit this summer with the ball machine and all.

 

Anyway, I am doing body-weight exercises at home for endurance training and all that.

 

I am just avoiding lifting for the moment until I am done growing.

[oldshirt]

Does tennis count? I am actually planning on training quite a bit this summer with the ball machine and all.

 

Anyway, I am doing body-weight exercises at home for endurance training and all that.

 

I am just avoiding lifting for the moment until I am done growing.

 

Tennis is great because men and women can play tennis together.

 

You really need to reevaluate weight training though. A sensible weight training program will not harm you.

 

If you are scrawny, putting on some visible muscle development will do wonders for you.

 

Abs on a scrawny guy with pencil arms and legs are like big boobs on a fat woman, it doesn't really count.

[R3d]

Please work on your internals...like volunteering for a local shelter or serving meals via Meals on Wheels. You live inside your head and worry about shallow superficial things to an obsessive point. It doesn't matter what we look like, the right person sees the person we are internally and spiritually. You are very young so focus in your future....get fit for your health, make good grades so you can go to college or have a job you love, work on bonds with grandparents who won't live forever but can share with you their world, their history which in turn can make you see your tiny space a little differently. Have some fun, hang out with your friends, join a sports team, make some great memories, and read as much as you can. I had teenagers, I know it is so necessary to find your place in the social world, but the way you are going about it seems like self flagellation. You are being way too hard on yourself. We all looked a bit goofy at sixteen. You are more than your shell.

Good luck,

Grumps

My GPA is like a 3.79 or somewhere between 93-94 numerically so far if you average the two years. As I said, I am getting into tennis. The only thing I don't do is read a lot - not my thing.

 

Next year, I am also looking to join 1-2 clubs that will allow me to be social and potentially make more close friends and possibly even meet girls.

 

I think I mentioned somewhere that I have been playing the violin for 8.5 years and am considered quite a strong player, and I am volunteering at a music camp this summer and another place.

 

Also remember this post I made:

 

Or... you might accept yourself for who you are and play the hand you've been dealt?

I do for who I am (as in personality-wise) very much, but not what I am (as in physically).

 

I am quite satisfied with myself as a person and in another post I said that I have a pretty good self-esteem when I base it off my internals. It's not just the above. Not to sound conceited or anything, but I do think I am what they say:

 

Honestly, people say that I am memorable, likeable, charming, smart, kind, honest, and all that (and I think I am too - I mean as a person, I like myself, just not looks-wise) , but the only "people" saying that about me is adults (like teachers and people in their 20's) and online friends I have on League of Legends (and before you assume I am a gaming addict, I am not. I like it but I don't play that much, and I don't talk about it unless it's with people I know well or I know they play already).

 

Like in the rare instances where I meet new people that don't know me at all, like in tennis, I have a new opponent who I don't know, I usually do get them smiling/laughing and comfortable around me quite easily, and it does seem like they often have a good time playing with me. After observing myself, I would agree with the people that say that about me, that I have an engaging personality.

 

One of the problems like I also said later in that post, becoming a socially awkward "faggot" (as I said in that thread) when in front of a girl I am interested in, which makes me not be myself, which does not allow me to show them my attractive personality.

 

So internally, I am quite satisfied with myself, but externally and as far as superficial factors go, I am very insecure. That's why I notice quite a dramatic increase in self-esteem when I don't factor my looks (and I have also been wanting to say status) nearly as much. I have also noticed that it is much harder for me to do this while present in school, but not so hard out of school. This is something I haven't mentioned yet, but I feel like high school is what makes me feel insecure (in terms of looks, status, and other superficial factors), for some reason. Outside of school, I am usually fine.

 

I would say my situation is comparable to this girl's: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130105233453AAhmI5Q

 

...when she says:

 

I'm a very loud and fun person to be around, but at school I'm extremely shy and just absolutely miserable.

 

Bingo. This. Right here. This is basically what's going on with me. This is what I have been trying to say.

Edited June 18, 2014 by R3d

[R3d]

Tennis is great because men and women can play tennis together.

 

Yeah man. One of my crushes was a tennis player that I played against a couple times and had a good time with! But when I asked her out to lunch at school, twice she said, "Maybe," or, "I don't know," so it was evident that she wasn't interested. Which sucks because I honestly thought she seemed really cute and lovely (and seemed to have this very elegant way of talking to people (basically she was really polite and "nice" to put it simply)), even though my friends didn't. And the fact that we share a common interest made her even more attractive to me.

 

Just a personal anecdote. Don't worry, I am over her.

Edited June 18, 2014 by R3d

[Grumpybutfun]

My GPA is like a 3.79 or somewhere between 93-94 numerically so far if you average the two years. As I said, I am getting into tennis. The only thing I don't do is read a lot - not my thing.

 

Next year, I am also looking to join 1-2 clubs that will allow me to be social and potentially make more close friends and possibly even meet girls.

 

I think I mentioned somewhere that I have been playing the violin for 8.5 years and am considered quite a strong player, and I am volunteering at a music camp this summer and another place.

 

Also remember this post I made:

 

 

 

I am quite satisfied with myself as a person and in another post I said that I have a pretty good self-esteem when I base it off my internals. It's not just the above. Not to sound conceited or anything, but I do think I am what they say:

 

 

 

Like in the rare instances where I meet new people that don't know me at all, like in tennis, I have a new opponent who I don't know, I usually do get them smiling/laughing and comfortable around me quite easily, and it does seem like they often have a good time playing with me. After observing myself, I would agree with the people that say that about me, that I have an engaging personality.

 

One of the problems like I also said later in that post, becoming a socially awkward "faggot" (as I said in that thread) when in front of a girl I am interested in, which makes me not be myself, which does not allow me to show them my attractive personality.

 

So internally, I am quite satisfied with myself, but externally and as far as superficial factors go, I am very insecure. That's why I notice quite a dramatic increase in self-esteem when I don't factor my looks (and I have also been wanting to say status) nearly as much. I have also noticed that it is much harder for me to do this while present in school, but not so hard out of school. This is something I haven't mentioned yet, but I feel like high school is what makes me feel insecure (in terms of looks, status, and other superficial factors), for some reason. Outside of school, I am usually fine.

 

I would say my situation is comparable to this girl's: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130105233453AAhmI5Q

 

...when she says:

 

 

 

Bingo. This. Right here. This is basically what's going on with me. This is what I have been trying to say.

 

Thank you for explaining it better and you sound like an amazing person, which I know doesn't help with high school girls or high school in general. Some people just aren't of the temperament to love high school or do well there socially. Since the fifties I imagine, high school has been very cliquey and cruel. I mean, the bullying and teasing alone not to mention how isolated people feel there is enough to make most of us go, wow, what is happening? Why are so many isolated or alienated and so much judging based on looks and money? The infrastructure isn't the real world if you find a world where shallowness and superficiality isn't valued. Even as I taught classes in the Navy, these kids were pretty cruel to those they perceived as weak and made it social hades for them. However, the ones who were strong enough to get through the program and in a sub or on a boat found a different world because the structure became different.

 

High school stinks if you don't fit a mold but high school lasts for a very short time so just keep being awesome and try to meet girls outside of your school. My son met one of his first gfs walking dogs at the animal shelter.

 

I know this is cold comfort when you are in the middle of it. It does get better and easier to meet people who aren't conformists to high school silliness as you get older. I saw a t shirt once that said....High School is like going to the dentist for extractions or root canals every single day of the week for four years.

Good luck,

Grumps

[sillyanswer]

My BMI fluctuates between 19.0 and 19.5. Is that too skinny and will it be detrimental to my attractiveness to women?

 

In absolute terms, no, it is not too skinny. Some women like larger guys, so you might have less luck with them. Or, eat more pies.

[hasaquestion]

R3d... you've got POTENTIAL.

 

Seriously dude.

 

3.79 is very good - but I have a feeling you can do even better. You're extremely articulate for a 16 year-old. 3.80 or better by the end of next semester? Its on.

 

The violin and clubs stuff is great. I wish I were as musically talented as you.

 

About social anxiety... high school is tough. But it sounds like you make it a bit harder on yourself because of your own insecurities.

 

I think you'd be well served worrying less about the "outcome" of social interactions. When you try to talk to a cute girl, you are thinking about the "end game", which makes you jittery since you don't want to mess up. Likewise, she knows you're thinking about the outcome and not living in the moment and it makes her nervous or uncomfortable.

 

Worrying is a huge catch-22. Look at it this way. You might be a good dude. But if you're nervous, you make other people nervous. If you don't know what to say around people, that in turn will also make them nervous. Oh, and if you make other people nervous, you'll scare them off before getting a chance to figure out what to say and what not to say.

 

I'm just saying, stop thinking about outcomes. When you talk to people make sure its just that. You want to know how their day went. You have something to share. If you feel like you're trying to impress, you're doing it wrong.

 

And its good to be constructive and work on yourself...

 

...but don't lose track of what you've got going for you, either. Which is a lot, apparently.

[hasaquestion]

Oh and tennis is awesome too. I wish I could play tennis. Sounds sophisticated as hell. I'm not nearly graceful enough for that.

[preraph]

Geez, he's 16. You are just growing faster up than out right now. Relax. Meanwhile, get a job at a restaurant bussing tables and eat free and a lot.

[R3d]

By the way, how do people meet girls outside high school? Maybe I could have some luck there...since like I said, I tend to have the most trouble socially in high school.

[normal person]

By the way, how do people meet girls outside high school? Maybe I could have some luck there...since like I said, I tend to have the most trouble socially in high school.

 

High school and college is the easiest place to meet girls. You're in the same buildings, on the same campus, surrounded by them all day. When you're out of school you probably won't ever again be in contact with that many young women in your life.