jellybean89 Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 (edited) You purchased a house together and yet you say you never wanted him to leave his marriage? He is probably doing fine...he has the wife and the OOW. Losing you just freed up some time for the new OW. That alone should be enough to stop "missing" him. You said you read explicit text messages between his and the OOW...yet slept with him still. Why? Are you competing with the OOW for him? Can't you see the <person> that he is? The lies, the betrayal, the using... Seriously, I am not trying to hurt you ...I just don't understand what there is to miss about him. Look at your daughter. I have no idea how old she is but you can best believe she probably knows way more than you think she does. I would bet she knows there is a wife. Parents think their kids are dumb or don't over hear things. Do you want her to know you are one of 3 women vying for his attention? Do you want her to one day be in your shoes - the OW or the OOW? Be the role model to her of what a strong woman is. Show her you demand respect. Show her you won't settle for crumbs, show her you won't be 1 of 3 women chasing some dude. Start today with really closing the chapter. Stop wallowing. Stop the self pity. Start taking your life back. Edited January 6, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 YOur daughter is going to get a big shock if she ever finds out her mother had an affair. Don't you realise you can damage her for life and she might lose respect for you. Why on earth are you allowing her to interact with MM? That's EWWW!!! Poppy Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7andcounting Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 YOur daughter is going to get a big shock if she ever finds out her mother had an affair. Don't you realise you can damage her for life and she might lose respect for you. Why on earth are you allowing her to interact with MM? That's EWWW!!! Poppy Poppy... Note when I met MM he was fully separated. He lived in his own home where I stayed the night. He cared for me after each of my treatments. We were together for months before he met my daughter. Its easy for you to judge sitting on the other side of the computer and in a sense we all do. The reality... his wife did exactly what my ex-husband did, she came back and refused to leave. I get he is a coward. I am not making excuses for him. But I thought the idea of this was for support not judgement. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Are you divorced yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Gigigirl Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Poppy... Note when I met MM he was fully separated. He lived in his own home where I stayed the night. He cared for me after each of my treatments. We were together for months before he met my daughter. Its easy for you to judge sitting on the other side of the computer and in a sense we all do. The reality... his wife did exactly what my ex-husband did, she came back and refused to leave. I get he is a coward. I am not making excuses for him. But I thought the idea of this was for support not judgement. Don't take certain things others say to heart. Yes sitautions are similar but no two are the exact same. All we know here is exactly what you tell us. Your MM has a side and so does his wife. You have to remember there are alot of hurt people on this forum so when they see similarties between their story and others, it makes it hard to give an opinon that is not emotionally charged. I wouldn't let the super negative posts get to you nor would I let the super positive posts distract you. Your reality with MM is probably somewhere in the middle. You know him better than all of us and sometimes it's best to use your own judgement and consider the source. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
whatatangledweb Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 We purchased it together. This is not good. They are still married which means he used money that she is entitled to half of. This could get very ugly. Is the house in both of your names? I really hope it is in just your name. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7andcounting Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 Are you divorced yet? Nope... It was on the inactive calendar... Things were nasty and he left it. They are still married and will have to start over. The reality is... Its not happening. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7andcounting Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 Don't take certain things others say to heart. Yes sitautions are similar but no two are the exact same. All we know here is exactly what you tell us. Your MM has a side and so does his wife. You have to remember there are alot of hurt people on this forum so when they see similarties between their story and others, it makes it hard to give an opinon that is not emotionally charged. I wouldn't let the super negative posts get to you nor would I let the super positive posts distract you. Your reality with MM is probably somewhere in the middle. You know him better than all of us and sometimes it's best to use your own judgement and consider the source. Good luck. Gigigirl - Thank you... Your absolutely right... its difficult to see a full picture on this forum. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7andcounting Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 This is not good. They are still married which means he used money that she is entitled to half of. This could get very ugly. Is the house in both of your names? I really hope it is in just your name. The house is just in my name, purchased with his money. During the time their divorce was in court. There had already been a separation of assets and etc done. I have a small mortgage on it. Financially she has no tie to the house. If I sold it I dont know what would happen. Its really his cash in equity but there is no formal agreement on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gigigirl Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Gigigirl - Thank you... Your absolutely right... its difficult to see a full picture on this forum. It is. If everyone was able to type their whole story out with full details, us posters wouldn't have time to do anything else but read stories all day! So most people try to give the most relevant details but sometimes the tiny details count very much in understanding the full story. I also have noticed alot of posters here pick and choose out of your story what they want to go on a rant about. I believe in reading a person's story FULLY before commenting and also understanding that I am still only seeing half the picture. Take what applies to you and leave the rest. Link to post Share on other sites
Gigigirl Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 She has phone records of recent and emails from the last 2 years. I am sure she is explaining away who I am. But she knows... It wont change anything in her mind. She is not going to divorce and is too worried about appearances. Again my daughter... we were together for a year before she moved back in. And only did it after the pictures were found. He was introduced to my daughter in a different capacity (support group) where we met. We started seeing each other from there and had a normal BF/GF relationship. Taking our kids on outing together. Him at my house, me at his. At the time it was normal to introduce our romantic relationship. You do not need to defend this. If you introduced your daughter to him in a totally innocent and affair-free enviroment then I believe you and you weren't in the wrong to do so. Alot of BS's don't want to know that the OW had a perfectly normal and open relationship with their spouse, especially involving the kids. Not all OW are hidden in the dark corners of some seedy hotel room...IJS And if MM was separated at the time, then you really don't need to defend yourself on this. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 My question was directed toward you. Are YOU still married? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7andcounting Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 My question was directed toward you. Are YOU still married? DKT3 - Sorry about that... No I am not still married. I am 100% divorced. It took forever! Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Let's move on from discussing member interactions and get back to the topic. We have an 'alert us' feature to report problems to moderation and an ignore list to manage member interactions. No need for any discussion of those aspects on-forum. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Poppy... Note when I met MM he was fully separated. He lived in his own home where I stayed the night. He cared for me after each of my treatments. We were together for months before he met my daughter. Its easy for you to judge sitting on the other side of the computer and in a sense we all do. The reality... his wife did exactly what my ex-husband did, she came back and refused to leave. I get he is a coward. I am not making excuses for him. But I thought the idea of this was for support not judgement. NO it's not easy for me to judge because I'm not. There were no children involved in my A as I am 67 and single. I am saying your daughter's future attitude towards men, you, affairs and marriage is involved. It's not a healthy environment for your girl. You are her role model for life. I understand you introduced MM and your daughter in all good faith. I have worked with the products of broken marriages and goodness knows what else for a long time as a professional. The idea is for you to get out of your present situation, but the trick is to do it. The longer you stay the more difficult it becomes. Poppy. Link to post Share on other sites
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