the_ferry Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Hi all, Would like to get your perspective on this. Recently got together with my girlfriend. We are very open to each other about things. She mentioned to me that recently she started received text messages from one of her ex-colleagues. She mentioned that this guy actually texts her even more than I texts her. She also told me that he did ask her out once but she mentioned it wasn't possible as she was flying overseas. This guy then mentioned he would ask her out another time. I am very puzzled by the behavior of my girl and would like to ask: (1) What do you all see is the purpose of her continuing to text this person? Why doesn't she just mention to this ex-colleagues (who out of the blue started texting her - she did not even have his number) that she is already attached? Why must she lead him on? (2) How do you think I should bring this up to her. I greatly appreciate the level of transparency that we both share and am afraid if I come across as too territorial or controlling she might just start to back away? I am very new to the dating game (1st time in a relationship) so please pardon me if this sounds stupid. Much appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 She's allowing him to text her. She could and should have said by now, that she's taken. Ask her why she hasn't told him that she's taken. If you're not happy with the answer, then consider if you want to be with this girl. It could be the start of much trouble to come. You're going to have to go through a few people to meet someone you're compatible with. It often saves time to say to the other very early on, what you are looking for with regards to other people outside of the relationship, your conception of loyalty etc. Link to post Share on other sites
HomanWater Posted June 21, 2014 Share Posted June 21, 2014 She also told me that he did ask her out once but she mentioned it wasn't possible as she was flying overseas. This guy then mentioned he would ask her out another time. I'm very troubled by the fact that her excuse was that she was flying overseas, not that "she has a boyfriend". I wonder what would happen, if she wasn't flying anywhere... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted June 21, 2014 Share Posted June 21, 2014 She's not being transparent, she's trying to make you jealous and make sure you know other guys want her. Very immature. How long have you been dating her? You didn't ask her why she said she would have gotten together w/ him if she wasn't flying out???? Seriously? So if she wasn't leaving she would have gone on a date with him?? Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted June 21, 2014 Share Posted June 21, 2014 I don't know what other reason she'd have to tell you this other then to try to make you jealous. It means she is playing games though. Also the fact she didn't tell this guy to buzz off the second he texted her means she is keeping him as a back up. So she kills two birds with one stone: makes you jealous and gets her a nice back up. See, if it was just about jealous she could of texted the guy and told him to buzz off, but still brought up him texting her to make you jealous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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