Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 I know that when people say " my friend" they usually mean themselves but this is really my friend and this is really her situation. My friend has been dating this guy for only about 6 or 7 months and is now engaged to him. She hasn't had many boyfriends, if at all, and most guys that she's known have only really been jerks to her. Her fiancé has had quite a few girls before her, and as far as I know, the longest he's been single is about a couple of years ( he was single for a couple of years before he met her) This guy I knew before I met her, But I clicked with her straight away. With him however, it has been an up and down friendship, one where he would snap at a drop of a hat at things he assumed you meant or did etc... He would remorsefully apologise later on, but it wouldn't stop him for being a jerk later down the track. Once at dinner, a group of friends and I were grabbing our plates to sit down and eat, she accidentally spilled water down on him and he yelled at her calling her a " ****ing bitch". We were all stunned. And one guy called him a jerk for humiliating her for something that was "accidental". He doesn't like any of her friends. Her two close friends ( which is me and another young woman) are not going to be picked as bridesmaids because " he doesn't like us". He was rude to me when my uncle passed saying that " I was just lazy and wouldn't go to work and used my "uncle's passing as an excuse". I was shocked. My uncle died and he was outrageously rude and disrespectful. My friend jus stood there and said " he is just a typical ******* and he admits that" What? you take it? Her father does not like the guy, and some of her family members refuse to come to the wedding. She won't wear make up to her wedding because "HE doesn't like it when she wears it". I'm really scared. I can't work out why she is marrying someone who seems so controlling and why she is determined to marry this man. What as a friend can I say? I think she will marry this man weather her friends say anything to her or not. I believe there are enough warning signs to prevent a nuclear explosion but instead she is heading straight towards disaster. What can I do or say? Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 You can't do anything. The more you push her on this, the more she will pull away. The only thing you can do is support her as a friend (not encourage her decision), and be there for her when/if she's ever ready to leave this ahole once and for good. Till then, she needs to live her own life...giant mistakes and all. You do not need to be around this man if he treats people like this. You have every right to tell her that you will continue to care for her, but do not wish to have any interactions with him. You may lose her, but her choices are her own, and yours are yours. Do what you need to do, and let her do what she feels that she needs to do. Link to post Share on other sites
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