Do_The_Herp Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) Hmm, not a bad looking bloke to me. He would've felt proud to have gained a pretty stalker just for holding a door open for them. I certainly don't have a problem with saying hello, or even getting someone's name. Usually I naturally do that sort of stuff because I'm just like that, when I'm in an outgoing mood. Most of the time it's well-received with a smile and some pleasant giggly small talk, but I often don't see these people consistently enough to really develop some kind of familiarity where I'd be comfortable asking them out on a proper sort of casual get-to-know-you kind of thing. You're right, though, they *could* be hoping that I say something. I'm trying very hard to combat lame negative thinking with that sort of thinking.. And it's helping. I've pretty much become the kind of person to break the silence in a room, so they don't have to worry about me engaging them unless they're being shy.. You can only do so much reaching out if they're painfully shy.. Edited June 23, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Hmm, not a bad looking bloke to me. He would've felt proud to have gained a pretty stalker just for holding a door open for them. I certainly don't have a problem with saying hello, or even getting someone's name. Usually I naturally do that sort of stuff because I'm just like that, when I'm in an outgoing mood. Most of the time it's well-received with a smile and some pleasant giggly small talk, but I often don't see these people consistently enough to really develop some kind of familiarity where I'd be comfortable asking them out on a proper sort of casual get-to-know-you kind of thing. You're right, though, they *could* be hoping that I say something. I'm trying very hard to combat lame negative thinking with that sort of thinking.. And it's helping. I've pretty much become the kind of person to break the silence in a room, so they don't have to worry about me engaging them unless they're being shy.. You can only do so much reaching out if they're painfully shy.. I so want a man like you!! I like that bit shy and possibly awkward...love it! Sounds like you need to get talking and talk whilst there..find out why they are there and do they live in the city/town or are they just visiting. Fluffing your words is great by the way. If a woman likes you it doesn't much matter what you say. If you fluff your words that doesn't matter either. We just like that you spoke. We are as nervous as you are. I'm middle aged and still nervous as hell when I find someone attractive! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I don't think I've ever caught a girl smiling at me, sometimes get looks but I can never get the chance to smile at them before they look away. And i haven't tried the cold approach at all in my life, as a shy slightly awkward guy the very thought of freezes me cold so to speak and i never go through with it its kind of like what would i say? why would they be interested in me? ( i know its ridiculous, but my confidence when i come to my love life is a bit shoddy) Link to post Share on other sites
NYC-BigKat Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Well as the title stated, I'm out of the game when picking up hints from women in terms of interest. While at a coffee shop this evening, this girl waltz and I'm instantly attracted to her. We made eye contact every now and then. I would watch her, and she would look up at me and look away quick. I think to myself "Hey... maybe she is interested" Then I psych myself out thinking "Well... maybe she just happened to see me when looking up. Not a big deal." I wanted to just walk up to her and talk to her, but I was so stuck on looking for a hint/invitation. I'm tired of missing opportunities... Advice? I know how this feels when I used to always always mess up with girls & me thinks she likes me when she was only being nice to me & she didn't & then when the girls was being mean to me & still didn't like me. Girls are weird . Link to post Share on other sites
Potz4prez Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Lots of good advice here. You just have to always assume the girl likes you. It's better to have escalated too quickly than to not have escalated at all. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 The problem is you're thinking you'll burst into flame if she rejects you. So you watch closely for signs that she is without a doubt, 110% yours for the taking. First of all, even if it were true, it's doubtful she would make it so obvious. And in case she did, you would still hesitate to do anything about it out of doubt, if you didn't lose interest in her immediately for having so little self worth and being so easy. When I was in my best state of mind about meeting women, I was a bit masochistic. I took some bitter rejections and then went back for more. I stopped caring and just talked to them. I had fun and just did what I wanted to in the situation, made it my own. Forgot about my assumptions about what they might prefer. And it wasn't long before I was able to get more dates than I had time for. There were times when I found myself kissing women I hadn't spoken to much at all. I just was really at ease, so they were, too, and then what the hell I want to kiss you. It was never creepy. But in case I got a bad response, I knew I could call another up and feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
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