What is this I don't even

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

Usually I find complicated romantic situations to be full of heartbreak and drama. But I think this is just hilarious. It involves SUITS AND ANIMATED GIFS, you guys, so let's sit back and have a happy thread for a change.

 

X is a colleague of mine. We're not exactly coworkers, but he comes to visit my office often and we work together on a number of projects. We're the same age (28). I have always had an incredible rapport with him and we spend a fair amount of time at work just chatting about silly things. But he never really struck me as a potential mate because, hey, he's seeing someone very seriously and so am I. But when he visits he always comes to see me first, rather than the guys he actually works with (who have commented on this, and some of them think we're dating already). We even have regular baking/cooking contests, which I almost always win. When I tell him I'm having a hard day he swings by the grocery store and buys me my favorite cookies; I try to bring him chocolate and candy when he visits. (We're both a normal weight...somehow.)

 

Over time I learned a number of things about him, namely that his personal life is unhappy and his relationship is even less happy. He never talks about this stuff with me but alludes to being pretty depressed at home on occasion. Whatever, that's none of my business. We have always tried to support each other through hard times while also getting our work done. I've come to like him quite a bit. Recently I went on a trip and told him to email me (outside of work, which we'd never done before). He did! So we've been chatting that way, too.

 

Things got kind of weird while I was overseas. One day when he made a big deal about wearing a suit to a videoconference with my office. Who does that? I asked him why and he wouldn't say, but didn't think much of it at the time. Afterwards we were IMing and I mentioned I wasn't able to really see his suit from my end. His response was "oh, well, I saw you looking really intently at the screen after the conference was over...scoping me out, no doubt, because the world revolves around me." I shot back with "well what were YOU looking at?" and he replied with this and this. I was surprised. That seemed pretty flirtatious for a nerd. At the least I was't expecting him to acknowledge, even as a joke, that SOMEthing was going on.

 

I spent a while thinking about this. We are such great friends, and our working relationship is solid. I would never want to mess that up. But the two of us also have an unusual bond and rapport that I don't have with anyone, not even my semi-current boyfriend---we're sorta on the rocks right now for a variety of reasons, and yes, my colleague knows about it.

 

Sometimes I wonder if it would it be a good idea to even try to have a relationship with my colleague? Besides, I respect his relationship with his current girlfriend even if it doesn't seem happy. But how long do we have to dance around this weird elephant in the room? I decided it'd be worthwhile to at least discuss it and clear the air. So I asked him out for drinks, but gave him a polite way out of it, which he took. Okay, I thought. He's not interested and we're not flirting, I'm just imagining this.

 

But then he gave me his phone number, and he jokingly suggested I should drunk-text him from the bar.

 

Who does that? I'm sorry, I just can't stop laughing. Dudes, if you are trying to give a lady a clear signal that you aren't interested, this is not the way to do it. I've considered the possibility that he's interested but doesn't want to ruin our current professional/friendly relationship, or that he's just really really really confused. One friend suggested he was trying to go really slowly and carefully, another said he's interested but thinks alcohol is a very bad idea while he's still with someone else; it could be that he isn't into me at all. But he could have said or done quite a few things that don't involve giving me his phone number, especially since we already talk at work and at home. Who knows? I don't have any idea what he's thinking. I am content to remain friends but, damn, this is super weird. And it's pretty freakin' funny.

 

tl;dr I thought rejection was going to crush me, and instead I've been laughing all day.

[jbelle6]

Does your current boyfriend know about this guy?

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

Does your current boyfriend know about this guy?

 

He does.

 

Also, things get weirder. I came back and saw Colleague's note with his mobile number. It says "Let me know if you're doing anything." WTF? I told him I was going out tonight and he wrote back saying he wanted to come but had unexpected guests. We exchanged a couple texts and engaged in some friendly smack talk about our next baking contest.

 

Who even knows anymore? I sure don't.

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

Update:

 

1) I broke up with my boyfriend. He deserves better than someone who isn't sure.

2) My colleague and I discussed the situation over drinks. We decided we were both really attracted to each other but the timing was awful.

3) Suddenly we began texting and email I every day. Our rapport at work extends pretty flawlessly outside of work too. He let it slip that he was thinking of me, and this situation, a lot.

4) Last night he asked if he could cook dinner for me and discuss things some more. Cook dinner? "I have to impress you eventually."

 

I still don't know what the deal is, but my situation is infinitely better because I took a chance and tried to talk it out like an adult. Carpe diem.