EverLastluv Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 (edited) As per my fiance...... he heard that man dont like heavy woman! ( my instinct tells me someone is giving him these ideas to throw it at me just because I have rejected him for certain behaivors/conditons. When I met my fiance I was in the gym, been working out for years. Its something I do for fun. Never had a serious relationship after my break up with my husband. So being in the Gym kept me going for years until my fiance came along and the world is turned upside down He would say things like ( whats more important? him or the Gym) He would make plans all the time to go hang out, especially eating thats his favorite thing. He looks good cause of the Job he does (cnstruction) he can eat what ever but burns it off in day. How ever for my self I have to eat healthy ALL the time and work out on a daily basis. I gained at least 60lb withing one yeare and 1/2. I stop working out, eating healthy etc . I never once said to my self I hated the way I look. I LOVE ME!!!! And about time he is gone so I can start working out back again. He was not a good influence in my life. He loves me, even thought I gained all the weight BUT that dont mean I should ACCEPPT him as an alcholic! When we got into the relationship I made a deal to help him be better one day (he had lots of issues) I Never made a deal to accept him as an alcholic. I helped him throught lots of things during the year and half as I mentioned before even going to classes for him and couples counceling also AA meetings. Nothing work! I consider my self as a big beautiful sexy woman weighting 260LB. when I was 190lb I was still beautiful and sexy ( working out at the guy). I really think its up to the woman to take care of them self. Being big is not a problem, but its how you carry your self. I always have a dress code. decent NOT s**** nice make up and always my favorite perfumes thats a go go for me . I love smelling goood. Anyways I was was just curious, I would like some insight from men in general would you date a fat woman , why or why not? Edited June 19, 2014 by EverLastluv Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 My exW was 5'1" and between 170 and 190 during all the years I knew her, around 12 in total, and our marital issues had zero to do with her weight. I was fine with her just as she was, physically. She did have her periods of insecurity but worked through them. Doppleganger except Val is a couple inches taller. I don't think I ever dated a woman who weighed more than me (200-230 over the last ten years, a bit less back in my single years as a young man) but that wasn't by design, rather I just didn't interact with any who were single. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EverLastluv Posted June 19, 2014 Author Share Posted June 19, 2014 (edited) I am 36yr old. Been thick all my life . I am getting this impression from him saying that oh " you better loose some weight if you want a next man" OR you deal what you have and accept whaterever. really! That never crosses my mind. Also I think its okay if a lady have a few lbs rather than the man. The man usually do most of the work anyways lol Edited June 19, 2014 by EverLastluv Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 What difference does it make what your (ex?) fiancé likes? Last I read you were done with him & changing the locks. If he's now giving you grief about your weight, why did you take him back? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
contact1 Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 Anyways I was was just curious, I would like some insight from men in general would you date a fat woman , why or why not? No. For the same reasons a woman wouldn't date a man that is overweight, it is unhealthy, gives the image of having no self control in their eating/living habits, not as sexually attractive, etc... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 There are definitely men who will still be attracted (even sexually) to a woman who is bigger. However, if someone of any sex is overweight and also sloppy and does not take care of themselves, then that is not healthy. I'm 5'2, 145 pounds with proportionate curves, I eat healthy and am somewhat active and when I dropped about 15 pounds (through diet and working out , I looked unhealthy and lost my softness, I'm just one of those people who looks and feels better with a little bit of extra weight. I've never heard a man tell me I'm overweight, however, women have commented to me that I could lose some weight. You're totally right, it depends on how you carry yourself and how you dress. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 If I was a big guy it wouldn't be so much of an issue, but I'm 5'11" 180 so I'm not comfortable dating someone 5'4" 220. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 A bit chubby is fine by me, great things come in many shapes and sizes 3 Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 I think it depends what you want. I'm always clear from the beginning that if the woman gets fat, I'm not interested. I'll give her a chance to sort it out or move on. It does depend on your body type too. Some people can get away with a few more curves, but if you're lazy and getting fat, do you respect yourself? Or are you just eating to hide another problem? I'm heavy: 15 stone, but it's mostly muscle. I have to forgo alcohol more than others to do this. But I'd rather be able to use my body to do things than sit on the couch. You need to decide if you can achieve everything you want at your size and if so, why change? But I can imagine we wouldn't ever be on a date. I'm just trying to give you an honest male perspective. A lot of guys say they are like this, whether they are really, I don't know. But it's like asking you,would you like a fat guy or a toned muscular guy? Most women would want the toned version. Well most men would want the toned woman. Link to post Share on other sites
TylerDurdenn Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 ?? Sorry but You need to get your head checked if you think being big is not a problem. Obesity - NHS Choices 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 For me personally, given the amount of dedication I have towards gym/fitness/diet, and the length of time I've been doing that for, there is simply no way I'd be leading a compatible lifestyle with a very overweight girl, quite apart from any issues of attraction. Anybody can make excuses for their weight. Truth is, they just lack the desire or motivation to fix it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Different men like different women. It doesn't matter what "men" like. The only thing that matters is what you're man likes. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 There are a few men who might overlook you being that heavy if they really like you, and there's a very few who have a fat fetish and would want you to gain even more weight, but in general you're just really hurting yourself when it comes to dating. =/ And your health. Most guys would be embarrassed to be seen with a woman that heavy. You don't get to be 260 pounds because your metabolism stinks either. You have to be ingesting a whole lot of calories everyday to get there and stay there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TylerDurdenn Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Different men like different women. It doesn't matter what "men" like. The only thing that matters is what you're man likes. You are man? What? Link to post Share on other sites
Author EverLastluv Posted June 20, 2014 Author Share Posted June 20, 2014 Good moring everyone, I'm here at my desk lauhging away at all the coments lol OMG really, wow its unbelievable what the public thinks of a fat woman. No, I am not metaly gone when I say " I LOVE ME" its the truth. I dont have a low selfesteme about my self. The smallest I been over 10 years is 180lb and that I looked extremely Hot I dont find a problem with me being overweight. The only problem when my next physical at the doctor come up with something outstanding. However I had not plans to stay this big. OK lol For my self I already ordered a treadmill to start my working out and eating healthy again, since my alcholic fiance is not around lol I care less what his family is feeding his thoughts, I have no interest in taking him back, as fat as I am .... I value my life style very much with my daughter. I stil have my pride in me! No matter what anyone say about my weight, I am still loving my self. I have no intention loosing weight for a man. I have lots of men thats interested in me as I am (I am pretty sure all they want is ....) mY answer for that is " now way" BUT for my own self I would get in shape very soon. Thanks again for all you imput guys Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 It's refreshing to hear a woman who loves herself regardless of the opinions of others. However, OP, 260 lbs is not just "thick" it's obese & incredibly unhealthy. Wondering whether men would date a heavy woman is really pointless as everyone has their own definition of beauty and there are plenty of men who would date a larger woman. Change your lifestyle for your well-being & health. Confidence does not translate to health. Work and live to be healthy for yourself and all else will fall into place. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Heavy men? TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EverLastluv Posted June 20, 2014 Author Share Posted June 20, 2014 (edited) It's refreshing to hear a woman who loves herself regardless of the opinions of others. However, OP, 260 lbs is not just "thick" it's obese & incredibly unhealthy. Wondering whether men would date a heavy woman is really pointless as everyone has their own definition of beauty and there are plenty of men who would date a larger woman. Change your lifestyle for your well-being & health. Confidence does not translate to health. Work and live to be healthy for yourself and all else will fall into place. As I had mention before, I was thick at 180lb, now at 260 is consider as a fat woman ( I am not trying to disguise my self at all ) I have all confidence in my self that I AM ABLE to loose the weight again as I did in the past although I was never this big! This only happended because I was in an unhealthy relationship which I am very happy to get out of This post was to get an idea why men dont like fat woman, to justify the fact I was told " no man wants a fat woman" I know thats not true! I never had any problen getting a man. Edited June 20, 2014 by EverLastluv Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 (edited) No. It would have never occurred to me to date someone obese since fitness and sports have always been a huge part of my life. Regardless if it is acceptable to some men, it shouldn't be acceptable to you to accept not being healthy. Being fit and healthy can be a lot of fun. My wife and I love to exercise and eat healthy (I still like the occasional pizza though) and are very active together. If I want to hike to Macchu Piccu I have someone who is just as fit to do that with or if I want to hike the Appalachain Trail, I have a fun, fit partner. We have hiked every trail of almost every American National Park. We biked around the Islands of Hawaii with kayaking sojourns, and we have dived everywhere from The Maldives, Belize, the Great Barrier Reef over the years where we kayaked to our destination spots. She and I take biking holidays around France and Tuscany or walking trips around Ireland and England. She has perfect health and I am grateful everyday. The important thing is that you are now making a difference in your life. Please start a health and fitness thread so we can give you encouragement and tips. You sound like a really positive and uplifting person so tell me how can I help you on this journey towards healthy and fit. Best of luck, Grumps Edited June 20, 2014 by Grumpybutfun 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EverLastluv Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 I know for sure I would not be traveling the world. Not everyone likes doing the samething. Any ways I see where mose people is comming from and I have heard enough. Thank God I feel so great about myself. Women who is insecure about them self would take it to heart when being told ( they are ugly, fat etc) Its a dam shame to me. I advise women to Keep loving them self! Eeather way skinny or fat its a problem still. I have my life set already my way. I don't have to settle for less( because I am fat). My fiance family schooling him to tell me abunch of garbage.That would not hurt me I stand for what I believe in no matter what I would continue living my life and stay being independent! Link to post Share on other sites
Easyguy14 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) As per my fiance...... he heard that man dont like heavy woman! ( my instinct tells me someone is giving him these ideas to throw it at me just because I have rejected him for certain behaivors/conditons. When I met my fiance I was in the gym, been working out for years. Its something I do for fun. Never had a serious relationship after my break up with my husband. So being in the Gym kept me going for years until my fiance came along and the world is turned upside down He would say things like ( whats more important? him or the Gym) He would make plans all the time to go hang out, especially eating thats his favorite thing. He looks good cause of the Job he does (cnstruction) he can eat what ever but burns it off in day. How ever for my self I have to eat healthy ALL the time and work out on a daily basis. I gained at least 60lb withing one yeare and 1/2. I stop working out, eating healthy etc . I never once said to my self I hated the way I look. I LOVE ME!!!! And about time he is gone so I can start working out back again. He was not a good influence in my life. He loves me, even thought I gained all the weight BUT that dont mean I should ACCEPPT him as an alcholic! When we got into the relationship I made a deal to help him be better one day (he had lots of issues) I Never made a deal to accept him as an alcholic. I helped him throught lots of things during the year and half as I mentioned before even going to classes for him and couples counceling also AA meetings. Nothing work! I consider my self as a big beautiful sexy woman weighting 260LB. when I was 190lb I was still beautiful and sexy ( working out at the guy). I really think its up to the woman to take care of them self. Being big is not a problem, but its how you carry your self. I always have a dress code. decent NOT s**** nice make up and always my favorite perfumes thats a go go for me . I love smelling goood. Anyways I was was just curious, I would like some insight from men in general would you date a fat woman , why or why not? I don't mind said woman with a few extra pounds if she carries it well but I think 260 is really pushing it. Edited June 23, 2014 by Easyguy14 error 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I know for sure I would not be traveling the world. Not everyone likes doing the samething. Any ways I see where mose people is comming from and I have heard enough. Thank God I feel so great about myself. Women who is insecure about them self would take it to heart when being told ( they are ugly, fat etc) Its a dam shame to me. I advise women to Keep loving them self! Eeather way skinny or fat its a problem still. I have my life set already my way. I don't have to settle for less( because I am fat). My fiance family schooling him to tell me abunch of garbage.That would not hurt me I stand for what I believe in no matter what I would continue living my life and stay being independent! To me loving myself means taking care of myself...my health and my body. 260 lbs on me at 6'3 would be obese and I am a man. It is good to have good self esteem yet I'm fairly positive denial about health and obesity isn't really self love. You already are settling for less because you aren't promoting yourself for a healthy future. You are worried about love interests when you need to be worried about your health. Your ex fiancé and his family's opinions aren't really the important thing about your obesity. Acceptance is a beautiful thing, but not if it impedes your personal growth or your good health. Denial is an impediment of personal growth and infirmity and obesity complicated illness an impediment of your health. Is your acceptance because you really think being obese and unhealthy won't affect your future or because you use acceptance and self esteem rhetoric to mask some real pain? Grumps 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hasaquestion Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) If she can't fit into my pants, then I'm not interested. One of the worst incompatibilities I've had in past relationships is different attitudes about diet and exercise. Both are a big part of my life and I have a hard time respecting someone who doesn't do the same. Same way I feel about women who don't have professional ambitions. Its just a giant turnoff. Edited June 23, 2014 by hasaquestion Link to post Share on other sites
Author EverLastluv Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 (edited) Good morning, I steped on the scale this morning and I am weighting exactly 269lb LMAOO WOW how that happen lol The bigest I got was 250lb when I WAS married after I had my daughter. How ever I know for sure my relationship with my fiance was very unhealthy. It only took me a year 1/2 to get this big while I was with him. All he keep saying is I love you the way you are. He share his food with me all the time, he feels bad if I dont eat with him. My food is totally different from him. So this is how I put on all the weight. Anyways again since he is not around I am more focused right now on going back to eating healthy and exersieing. I feel really great about my self, I am looking forward to see my accomplishment Thanks everyone for your openions on this topic. Edited June 24, 2014 by EverLastluv Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Good for you! It's awesome to take the initiative to change for the better. A lot of the time, gaining weight is not necessarily about food. We tend to "want it all", especially when we're comfortable in a relationship. I actually kind of understand where you're coming from in terms of eating differently without the ex. My ex was 6'6, maybe 175/180 pounds and could eat continuously all day without gaining a pound so I would try to eat the same way. He would also tell me I wasn't eating enough if I ate a light meal so I'd eat more to make him happy. The things we do for love lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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