JL123 Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Hi all, Need advice on NC. So 2 weeks in NC. I am doing very well. I am very happy with my decision and have moved on, been out on several dates with a new AVAILABLE man, who so far has been wonderful! My ex-MM gave me a ton of reasons for not leaving his wife "yet" but that he was "planning" to leave after x, y, and z. I finally decided I was not going to wait around and I was ready to live my life. So here we are in NC. So he has been calling daily, leaving voicemails and texts daily. I cannot change my number because it is a work cell phone that is tied to some corporate accounts. I have not responded to one single call or text. He has been sending photos also. Today he sent a text asking me to please respond to let him know that I was ok, that he was worried that something terrible has happened to me and that he cannot eat or sleep because he is so worried. He also said he went to a therapist to discuss his "action plan" for leaving his wife and to get insight as to if our relationship can really work. My question is this: should I continue complete NC? I do not want him to leave his wife. I do not want anything to do with him anymore. Should I respond and tell him I am fine and do not want to hear from him anymore? Or is silence a better indicator of that message? Thanks as always for your advice! And for those suffering through this phase: there ARE single, available men out there! I thought I would never meet someone who would like me as much as my MM did, but I did and it is amazing! I realize it is soon, but it is nice being able to call him whenever I want! Thanks again! Link to post Share on other sites
whatatangledweb Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 If you reply back, it opens the door for him. He knows you ended it. There is nothing further to discuss. Ignore him. If you have a smart phone, put an app on that will block his calls. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JL123 Posted June 20, 2014 Author Share Posted June 20, 2014 Good point. There is nothing further to discuss. I was very clear when I ended it. I already told him that I did not want to communicate anymore. I asked him to stop texting and calling when I ended it. He is just trying to re-open the lines of communication and trying to re-open the door. Thanks, will not respond. Someday he will stop. It does feel good to count the days that I have not responded....taking your life back really feels good. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Whisper Quiet Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 If you reply back, it opens the door for him. He knows you ended it. There is nothing further to discuss. Ignore him. If you have a smart phone, put an app on that will block his calls. ^^^^^ This. You are doing well and moving forward. Why move backwards? I'm calling bull sh*t on his worried state of mind and his "action plan" for leaving. He is just saying what he thinks will elicit a response from you. Stay NC and look forward to a genuine, drama free life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PachucaSunrise Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 I am very happy with my decision and have moved on, been out on several dates with a new AVAILABLE man, who so far has been wonderful! THIS is awesome! Congrats!! I finally decided I was not going to wait around and I was ready to live my life. Rock on! GOOD FOR YOU! So he has been calling daily, leaving voicemails and texts daily. Does he know you have been seeing someone? If he does, this type of behavior doesn't surprise me one bit. I have not responded to one single call or text. Awesome!! He has been sending photos also. Again, not surprising, especially if he knows about this new guy. Today he sent a text asking me to please respond to let him know that I was ok, that he was worried that something terrible has happened to me and that he cannot eat or sleep because he is so worried. He also said he went to a therapist to discuss his "action plan" for leaving his wife and to get insight as to if our relationship can really work. I don't know if I would buy into this. You finally put your foot down and went NC, and I'm sure he wasn't exactly thrilled about that. Now, if he knows you've been dating someone new, that gives him all the more reason to reach out to you. He knows you mean business, and the reality of losing you for good is most likely hitting him pretty hard. And he's even talking about an "action plan?!" Where was this "action plan" before NC took place? Or better yet, before you met the new guy? Oh, and I bet his W will be stoked once she hears about this plan. How brave of him! I'm gonna be blunt here - I think he's full of S$it! My question is this: should I continue complete NC? I do not want him to leave his wife. I do not want anything to do with him anymore. Should I respond and tell him I am fine and do not want to hear from him anymore? Or is silence a better indicator of that message? Personally, I would continue with NC. This whole "I'm worried about you" thing is just another way for him to slither his way back into your life. Not saying that he doesn't care... BUT... If he does know you have a new guy, he's gonna throw every line at you known to man to make sure you're still hanging around in some way. Don't let him play you. As long as you were crystal clear that you were serious about going NC two weeks ago, there's no need to respond to his messages. Thanks as always for your advice! And for those suffering through this phase: there ARE single, available men out there! I thought I would never meet someone who would like me as much as my MM did, but I did and it is amazing! I realize it is soon, but it is nice being able to call him whenever I want! I'm really happy for you! And I bet this new-found freedom feels amazing - exactly the way it should feel! You're better than "Mister Action Plan." Don't ever look back. Best of luck to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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