did i blow it with this girl?

[frankthetank1]

i met a chick online about 7 months ago. we've been chatting and skyping for hours almost every day ever since and yes we had phone sex a few times too. when i see her online i even get physical reactions just seeing her name pop up.

physically, she's one of the hottest girls i have ever seen in my life but im still not over my ex.

what blew my mind was that a chick that hot was into me because im just average looking but a couple of months ago, she showed a lot of interest in me and even said that she likes me more than she should. i should have told her then that im not over my ex but i like her a lot and i couldn't tell her that i was not over my ex at the time, so i just told her that i think she is hot, and that i like her a lot but im not in love with her. she was fine with that.

well a few more months into chatting with her and i finally told her that i was not over my ex and i didnt tell her that to scare her away or because i wasnt interested in her. i think about her a lot and she is one of the most caring women ive ever met but i just couldnt tell her about my ex right away because it was too painful for me.

here's some background info on my ex. we had a fight over something stupid. i called her up in a week to see if we can make things right again but she just didn't want to give it a chance. she is even moving on in a new relatonship with some other guy now. i was gutted and i still am. its been a few months and it still eats away at me.

now as for the chick i met online i chatted with every day for 6 months, im already used to her signing online to the site we both use every single day, but ever since i told her that i felt like life couldn't go on without my ex she was understanding and she even said she felt guilty bringing it up. i told her that i had to go because if i continued talking about it i would get depressed for days. we said our goodbyes for the evening and i felt better unloading all of this to her because i felt that since i opened up to her about something so personal to me that it would bring us closer. also she told me about how she was heartbroken with her last guy too so it wasnt just 1 sided.

well now its been almost a month and she just disappeared. vanished overnight. the first day of her disappearance was right after i told her about my ex. she doesnt even sign online to the site to check her messages anymore and im sure she gets them because if any of you saw her pictures you would see how hot she is. she also doesn't sign on her skype anymore and doesn't answer her cell. im really starting to get worried. how can a hot chick who shows so much interest in me just vanish without an explanation or an official goodbye? its not like only chatted for a coupled of days and i do miss her.

did i blow it by obsessing about my ex to her? did i scare her off? she did show a lot of interest to me. any opinions would help. thanks.

also she did ask me if i was single and about my history in the beginning of when we first met but i could only bring myself to tell her that my last relationship was over 2 years ago. i just couldnt tell her about my most recent ex until now.

will i ever hear from this chick again? or did i blow it by scaring her away about my ex? thanks again.

Edited June 21, 2014 by frankthetank1

[d0nnivain]

I can't imagine having an OL sexual relationship with some virtual stranger for 7 months. Is there any reason this never moved to real life? She may have simply tired of this on screen BS & moved onto a man who was actually available to touch her.

 

 

Why would you say life couldn't go on without your EX? Seriously . . . if some guy I was having any sort of interaction with said that to me I would feel so used & certainly wouldn't be back.

[frankthetank1]

d0nnivain we couldnt meet because i live here in the states and she lives 3,000 miles away in england otherwise i would move mountains to meet her in person. but i have my job, and she didnt have the money. we just joked about us being in the 90% match because the site kept showing me her profile until i decided to joke about it with her living so far away. so i guess you could say we became pen-pals.

i cant live without my ex because she was the first greatest love of my life. i met her when i was depressed from a previous relationship and i never fell so deep in love with her than anyone else. but i guess shes moved on because shes with another man while im just alone and depressed. i dont fall in love easily but when i do i give it my all.

now this hot chick that ive been chatting with for months disappeared right after i told her about my ex. she's helped distract me from the pain but ever since i told her about my ex she wont answer or return my calls, she no longer signs on her skype, and of course she no longer logs in to the dating site.

i dont understand how a chick who showed so much interest in me can get me out of her system so fast? she would leave frequent notes everywhere for me to red: "hi. just wanted you to know that im thinking about you" she even told me she likes me more than she should. then she's gone. no explanation or reason just disppeared off the planet like that?

[d0nnivain]

i cant live without my ex because she was the first greatest love of my life.

now this hot chick that ive been chatting with for months disappeared right after i told her about my ex. she's helped distract me from the pain but ever since i told her about my ex she wont answer or return my calls, she no longer signs on her skype, and of course she no longer logs in to the dating site.

i dont understand how a chick who showed so much interest in me can get me out of her system so fast? she would leave frequent notes everywhere for me to red: "hi. just wanted you to know that im thinking about you" she even told me she likes me more than she should. then she's gone. no explanation or reason just disppeared off the planet like that?

 

You in essense told her there is no room for her in your life & you are using her. You think she's a distraction from your EX, nothing more.

 

She didn't necessarily get you out of her system, she's going NC for her own self preservation because you don't have anything to offer her. She's nothing more than a place filler for you. You gave your heart away & aren't over your EX. If course your OL buddy dissappeared.

[frankthetank1]

d0nnivain she wasnt just a distraction for me. she has everything i could want= she's the hottest girl ive ever seen in my life, she's kind and very intelligent. we chatted for hours several times a day, every day for 7 months and i dont think i would post in this forum if she was just a distraction for me. i think about her a lot and she is helping. the only problem we have is distance.

i just wanted to be honest and i thought she would apreciate my being honest with her and maybe make us closer but instead she just disappears with no explanation and never once replied to any of my messages ever since i told her about my ex.

its been almost a month and ive never seen her sign online. it says her last online activity was the day after i told her about my ex.

i just would like to know what i can do to get her back. i definitely dont want her out of my life. i made a mistake and i would like to know what i can do to get us talking again.

[jbelle6]

I would have disappeared too. You lied about your relationship with your ex and about your feelings. I would also feel used and embarrassed for telling you my real feelings knowing you weren't being honest.

 

I read an interesting article about when we are depressed we can use these new relationships and the highs of the honeymoon phase as an anti depressant of sorts. When the relationship ends, we are hit even harder because we deal with the end of the relationship as well as the depression coming back. This tells me it's bets to resolve things with your ex and get over that before you involve others or you will keep repeating these things.

[frankthetank1]

jbelle i admit i made a mistake. is there anything i can do to get us talking again?

[eleve82]

I've been talking to a guy who has also recently admitted his ex still bothers him alot and I felt alot of the same sentiments mentioned above - a little used and as if I'm nothing but a distraction for him to get over his ex. This guy has said alot of things about how he's "crazy" about me, thinks about me alot etc, but just simply the fact he still needs to vent about his ex makes me feel he is being insincere.

 

The only way you can try to make this up to her is to show her that you are in fact over your ex-gf - find a way to reconnect with her, talk to her and prove she is not just a rebound girl. Hope this helps.

[d0nnivain]

d0nnivain she wasnt just a distraction for me. she has everything i could want= she's the hottest girl ive ever seen in my life, she's kind and very intelligent. we chatted for hours several times a day, every day for 7 months and i dont think i would post in this forum if she was just a distraction for me. i think about her a lot and she is helping. the only problem we have is distance.

i just wanted to be honest and i thought she would apreciate my being honest with her and maybe make us closer but instead she just disappears with no explanation and never once replied to any of my messages ever since i told her about my ex.

its been almost a month and ive never seen her sign online. it says her last online activity was the day after i told her about my ex.

i just would like to know what i can do to get her back. i definitely dont want her out of my life. i made a mistake and i would like to know what i can do to get us talking again.

 

 

You gave her the impression I got -- which was you didn't care.

 

 

Did you ever tell her all the stuff you just posted? If not you should.

 

 

Do you have another way to contact her?