SmartDude Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Uggh, this is so typical its not even funny. I have seen this so many times with people I know. One person is ready to head out the door and everyone from friends to family to strangers yells out"marriage counseling omg that's the answer!"..No its not! And then you will hear "well what about her and the kids, don't you care?" And no one asks the guy what he feels inside. Maybee it is time to frickin end! I don't understand this obsession of trying to save every marriage? I am going to give you some appropriate lyrics from a song by Lionel Ritchie, just in case its that time for you: Sail on down the line About half a mile or so Don't really want to know where you're going Maybe once or twice Time after time I tried To hold on to what we got But now you're going And I don't mind about the things you're gonna sail on I give all my money and my time I know it's a shame But I'm giving you back your name Yes, I'll be on my way I won't be back to stay I guess I'll move along I'm looking for a good time Sail on down the line Funny how the time can go Friends says they told me so but it doesn't matter It was plain to see That a small town boy like me Just wasn't your cup of tea I was wishful thinking I gave you my heart and I tried to make you happy And you gave me nothing in return You know it ain't so hard to say Would you please just go away I've thrown away the blues I'm tired of being used I want everyone to know I'm looking for a good time Good time Sail on honey Good times never felt so good Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Maybee it is time to frickin end! I don't understand this obsession of trying to save every marriage? Before someone starts chasing happiness they'd benefit from defining what it is. Other than a vague dissatisfaction, the OP hasn't indicated what problems with his marriage have led him to this point and the issues that do exist, based on his description, seem to be self-induced. He made a commitment to his wife. Based on that commitment, he brought children into this world. You don't think she - and they - are owed his best effort to make this work ??? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Before someone starts chasing happiness they'd benefit from defining what it is. Other than a vague dissatisfaction, the OP hasn't indicated what problems with his marriage have led him to this point and the issues that do exist, based on his description, seem to be self-induced. He made a commitment to his wife. Based on that commitment, he brought children into this world. You don't think she - and they - are owed his best effort to make this work ??? Mr. Lucky There does not need to be a tangible reason. It could be just a vague feeling that starts developing when you wake up one random morning. And no, the commitments of the past mean very little at the time you decide to stop committing. Anyways if we are to say that his commitment was to his wife, and based on that commitment, he brought children into the world...Well, mission accomplished! He had kid(s)? They need to change the lines in wedding vows from "till death do us part" to "until one of us decides to leave.", at least that would be honest and reflect reality in modern times. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Besides statistics, our site pretty much provides a birdseye view into the failure of the concept of Marriage. Factoring in the length we now live, advances in technology (which lead to temptation of all sorts), extreme expectations in job performance (may encompass a range of positive and negative opportunities, stresses, lack of time for mate, children, etc.), and basic human instinct that we are stuck with (our brains have not evolved one iota in order to keep pace with afirmentioned). The best you can hope for when getting married, is a spouse that will be kind and reasonable when you later divorce. In dating, I would suggest having very careful criterion in place related to the future break-up of the a possible marriage as one goes about selecting a mate. Further, if any young per or couple asked me about marriage - I would recommend a pre-nip arrangment agreeing to how the marital contract will be dissolved. In fact, that might be a very good future business to get into. Now, if you can follow Dr. Harley's recommendations for a healthy, affair proof marriage - maybe a couple could make it. Harle admits spouses, including himself and his wife cannot be trusted due to human nature. One of his major recommendations is that the spouses must NEVER ever spend a night away from each other. Can that be done in our society? This is just one person's view's typed herein. Yas Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 They need to change the lines in wedding vows from "till death do us part" to "until one of us decides to leave.", at least that would be honest and reflect reality in modern times. Be careful what you wish for. One isn't always the leaving partner, you can also be the one left behind. Even if your POV is self-centered, I'd want to think it through carefully to make sure it was the right thing for me. Many walk-away spouses have decided they wanted to return, only to find their partner has moved on... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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