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Very confused


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Ok, I kinda have feelings for my best friend but I don't know what to do about it.

 

My last relationship ended very badly and I admit that I still have feelings for the guy, but I don't see us getting back together. However I do have feelings for my friend too, always have done, but I'm not sure what to do about it.

 

Sometimes I really like him, other times I don't. We've been very good friends for over five years now and it would be weird to start being with him romantically. Also I wouldn't want to use him to get over my ex. That would be really selfish of me I know and would ruin our lovely friendship.

 

Reasons I like him :

 

He's funny, kind, intelligent, treats me and everyone around him well. I know he could give me the kind of relationship I want. I totally fancy him mentally.

 

Reasons I don't like him :

 

We've been friends so long that it would be weird to start having sex. He's never had a serious gf, altho he's in his late twenties.....he's still a virigin. I don't fancy him alot physically, he's a bit overweight, shallow of me I know.

 

We have tried to go out with each other before, about three years ago, it lasted three days before I ended it. I just didn't feel that "spark", but still these other feelings won't go away. In the meantime I went out with my now ex, but I still had these weird feelings for my friend.

 

Now I'm single again I still feel the way I did before, totally confusing situation. I don't want to use him, that's not me, but I do have more feelings for him than "strictly friends". I can never see myself being sexual with him tho.......what to do.......somebody help!

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Just to add, I do find him good looking.......he's not very confident in himself. He doesn't have the confidence to chat up girls so I think that is why he's not really had any girlfriends. He has alot to offer a girl, he just doesn't see it.

 

I guess alot of it is knowing that he is a virgin. Any advice?

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Feeling Lonely

OK, this is the way i see it.

 

Look at your post, more disadvantages than advantages. Therefore, a rough guess here, i don't think you would work out, like you said, it would be weird. And by getting that close to eachother and then breaking up your risking your whole friendship.

 

Go out girl and have some fun, find another sucker to be yout rebound relationship, then see how you feel!

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I really don't want to use him as a safety net. I wouldn't do that, the feelings I do have for him are genuine, I've had them since we first met.

 

I wouldn't want to ruin our good friendship......I'm not a heartless bitch, just v confused. I keep reasoning to myself that I always fall for the wrong guys, who I'm attracted to straight away. Here I have a right guy but the feelings I have are confusing. I'm so sick of falling for the wrong people.

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i think that your posts just have more negative things for this guy than positive, and if you were REALLY into him, then you would know it.

 

accept him as just a friend and hold onto that, dont ruin it by complicating things.

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