Is this FWB?

[ohiosportsguy]

So, bear with me! Freshly divorced and met a girl also freshly divorced. We started dating about 3 1/2 months ago. She has very limited availability due to her children, I have much more time available. We developed strong feelings very early on. After dating for a couple months, she backed off, said she wasn't ready. We didn't talk for about 3 weeks. We got back together, she said she was fine, started dating again, but she backed off once again. Another 2 weeks go by, and the other night, she calls again, wants to just hang out from time to time and we spent night together. I have very strong feelings for her though, so I don't want to risk losing her, so I continue to let this go on. I have dated other people throughout this, I am not sure if she has or not however. I know she is still looking. She says from time to time that things are off between us, but I'm not sure, I just think she is scared. She says she is not ready to commit to a long term relationship, has too much on her mind, needs to fix herself after a very difficult marriage, and focus on her son. We haven't talked since the other night, but I really don't know what this whole "FWB" thing is, but I think that is what this is. How often do you call? Do you text? It is difficult when I have feelings, and I know she does to, but we don't both act on them. We have awesome physical chemistry though. Anyone been in a similar situation...especially women who have experienced this, would love to hear your perspective. Thanks!

[still_an_Angel]

I was in the same space after my first separation. I knew my M was going nowhere and I was starting to get my groove back for sex (after slowly sorting out the other bits of my life). I tried multiple dating for about a year because I did not want a full on relationship but was feeling a tide of sexual yearning that I experienced before I had kids. If she has just started going out again after her D, she's definitely looking but most probably not ready for any relationship. Granted there is sexual chemistry, but at the end of the day, her priorities lie with her children. She has just gotten through divorce and is still stabilizing her life, and the kids' lives. IME, it took me years to do this, always watching and making sure the kids are not taking the ill-effects of our separation that its disrupting their lives and school. Its not easy to parent alone and so I kept my dating life a secret from my kids. I don't want to hurt them by sashaying a new bf because they still harbour hopes that our situation is temporary and their father will move back in again.

 

 

Where does this leave you? If you really want a relationship with her, you need to let her know, but be very sure to tell her that if she is not ready, there is no pressure. Give her the space and time that she needs.