Alonzo Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 (edited) My girlfriend and I have been dating on and off for about 4 years now. Over the course of our relationship we have both cheated on one another and even separated only to end up together again. We have been living together for about 3 or 4 months and things are different now than they were before. I generally feel like this is normal or to be expected but only a phase that we would progress through. We used to have amazing sex every day unless it was that time of the month. Lately though, things haven't been the same and I fear it is because of someone else. She's now all of a sudden too tired or soar from work. I often find myself now feeling like I have to force her even though she still clearly enjoys it. Past experiences have shown me that size and quality does matter to most woman. Although I am aware of this, there's no doubt in my mind that THAT is not the problem. There's a guy that she works with and from my point of view, is interested in. When the three of us are in the same room, someone not knowing who's with who, would probably think the two of them are very good friends or my girlfriend either wants to or has already had sexual relations with him. Even though she acknowledges that I am there by calling me baby when she does speak to me, I've noticed how he's the topic of most of her conversation. She's also intrigued by what he says and finds humor in things he says that most other people probably wont find funny. They even share small laughter and certain looks that imply there is an inside joke or something no one knows but them. In times of an awkward silence or everyone on there phones not saying much to each other, she's constantly attempting 2 start a conversation with him. We share the mutual hobby of smoking and have smoking sessions every weekend. This guy pulled out a wooden tipped black and mild and my girlfriend acted as if she had never seen one before. The blunt went out and she asked him to light it even though I was sitting next to her with a liter in my hand. I've also noticed how she cant keep her eyes off him like she's very attracted to him. I went so far as to show him to several female family members and friends who share some of the same interests my girlfriend does. The majority of them found him unattractive and even the few that thought otherwise only said he was ok but nowhere near a sight for soar eyes. At first she spoke of him as a "cool" guy or in other words, someone who's easy to get along with or be friends with. She said that she and he are the same and they share the same zodiac sign so that's why she's so "cool" with him. After I began to be around the both of them at the same time, I made a simple statement to my girlfriend. I said "so you really are "cool" with this guy" and she immediately became defensive and quickly dismissed all suspicions of infidelity before I even made her aware that there were any. However, I do have a history of being a jealous boyfriend so I thought it was for that reason she reacted the way she did. The guy has a girlfriend of his own but that doesn't mean he wouldn't take advantage of an opportunity if given one. I mean after all, a man will be a man. I Haven't accused her of cheating however I am open and honest with her about my thoughts, feelings, and opinions. I've researched signs of infidelity and some of my girlfriend's actions are similar to those of an unhappy or cheating woman. Even with that being said, I am really in love with her and would rather not risk being wrong and loosing what we've worked so hard to obtain. I apologize for giving so much detail, but I strongly feel like the best answers and opinions would come from someone who understands the situation. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance. Alonzo Edited June 22, 2014 by Alonzo Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 Break up with this woman. Regardless of whether she is sleeping with this guy yet or not she is being quite disrespectful given that you live together. Also the damage is already done to your trust. Your always going to have that niggling thought on your mind that shes going to cheat on yoj again. Only way this relationship will work is if you convert it to an open relationshio. Then its not cheating anymore. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 She's cheated before AND still has awful boundaries. That doesn't bode well at all. That said, if you want to know the truth then you're going to have to stop sharing your thoughts and feelings, play stupid, and investigate. Making accusations without proof is both unattractive and just reveals that you're watching. The other choice is to draw a line in the sand about what behavior you'll accept (which is perfectly legit since she's cheated before) and then stick to your guns. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 About him being attractive or not. That doesnt even matter in the slightest. You may see that if your thoughts manifest. Hope they don't tho 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alonzo Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 I appreciate the advice but why does it not matter if he's attractive or not?? Is it because he may posses certain qualities and morals that I don't?? Link to post Share on other sites
jbelle6 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I appreciate the advice but why does it not matter if he's attractive or not?? Is it because he may posses certain qualities and morals that I don't?? Google celebrity cheating downgrades, people don't cheat because of how the other person looks, they cheat because of how the other person makes them feel. I mean, Prince Charles had Diana and went with Camilla if you know what I'm saying... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I appreciate the advice but why does it not matter if he's attractive or not?? Is it because he may posses certain qualities and morals that I don't?? A ton of ppl dont value looks all that much as a primary factor. Beauty is only skin deep. You ever met a gorgeous woman with a hideous attitude? Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 It's not about him, or about you. It's about her. Link to post Share on other sites
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