Author StrongHusband Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 You're a better man than I am. I wouldn't invest the time and energy into repairing this, especially after chronic and repeated cuckolding over an extended period of time. I couldn't get past that she lied every day, likely a few times a day, to cover for her relationship with her boyfriend. I'd let him have her without resistance. Good luck. Thanks, man. However, I would not call myself a better man than you. We all have our own decisions. For me, it was to stay with her; for you, it was to leave her. But I think what will matter is what will make us happy, and have inner peace (with reference to kung fu panda). For me, I have inner peace with her. For you, you have inner peace away from her. Everyone is different, as long is everyone is happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HurtHusband Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 My wife had an affair this summer, and it has totally turned my world upside down and left me struggling to make sense of the emotional devastation that I feel. The only things that have helped me thus far...and this is 3 months after her confession... 1. Find some other women as friends, maybe just online or maybe just to meet for coffee. You don't have to have an affair. But your mental state is attached to a cheating, uncaring wife and that's dangerous. You need to realize that their are other women out there who don't cheat and have maybe experienced what you have gone through.. 2. I know this sounds like the opposite of reconciliation, but in your mind try to detach yourself from her. Don't tie your happiness completely to her...you will feel the triggers, the doubts, and second guess things...you will have issues with trust.. My wife is too stupid to realize this. She was pretending to go to the gym for 2 months..and now she thinks it's all under the rug and she can't fathom what I feel. Because she is a cheater and cheaters are selfish people. 3. Pamper yourself and go for an erotic massage etc. you deserve this, don't tell her this, you need to feel human and good about yourself again. And if some money and a scantily clad women massaging your balls for 2 hrs does the trick, than by all means do it!! My case is different, no sex before the affair for years! And now afterwards there is none either and she doesn't see it as important. In fact none of my physical needs are met and I don't even try anymore because she doesn't want me..plain and simple.. It's like trying to resuscitate a dead fish. Took me awhile to figure this one out! As the truth and rejection from your wedded wife hurts... "Huh? Your my wife but you want no intimate contact with me? Shock, horror..sadly yes. Don't make any fast decisions...take care of the kid and be there for your child 100% and use the above as coping mechanisms.. In my case my wife made a big show of changing her phone number( I did the same) she also called the OM's wife and spilled the beans..I am quite certain that it is 'over' between them. But that's not the issue, the issue is, she cheated repeatedly, disrespected me, and I will never get over that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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