AnneT1985 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Hi y'all! How are you doing? I have a question about a very immediate family member. She has a severe personality disorder and is in her 50's. I would like some coping mechanisms to deal with her and have tried adopting some of my other family members strategies but it's so tough. A bit of background is she is a total drama queen, very childish and petty and demands constant attention and everything is some fight or conflict (I am not at all implying all people with personality disorders do this, but she does). She will talk AT you nonstop about herself and the most petty of issues and her sense of entitlement is astronomical. At a family function she literally talked for an hour without taking a breath about plastic surgery she was having and how she got into a fight with her friend because her friend got it first. Just so petty and nonsensical people around her were snoring...literally. Other family members have cut her off and still others get furious with her. My strategy has been to challenge her, like "why is this even a fight?" or "people in the world have real problems...like your own family" which probably isn't the best way as she throws a fit. I try and change the subject, be positive when she calls my other family members names for not paying enough attention to her etc. Nothing seems to work. I understand a need to complain or vent once in a while for sure...but I literally want to bathe after conversing with her, it is that petty, self centered, boring and negativistic. I don't even feel like wasting a minute of my life engaging or listening to the nonsense. What would y'all do? Do you have any experience with this? Do y'all have any coping mechanisms you would resort to or at some point do you need to go no contact- even with immediate family? Thanks so much y'all! xx Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I smile politely for a few minutes of the prattle, then get up & walk away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnneT1985 Posted June 28, 2014 Author Share Posted June 28, 2014 Thanks Donnivain. Tis family member will also regularly leave me abusive voicemail messages (I no longer answer when she calls), demanding immediate attention and having a temper tantrum, full on meltdown if she doesn't get it. I am too busy leading my own adult life to feed into this. What would y'all do? I am wondering if my next step should be blocking her phone #? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I think with anyone who just yammers on too long or about anything you find offensive, the best thing is to abruptly excuse yourself and make any excuse you can find or none at all but leave the room or act like it's important you talk to another person. If on the phone, so much easier, of course. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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