Ravers Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Hello my friends, I am 22 years old, male, and this past year I meet a girl that in the beginning i just saw her as a friend... But this past 3 months I noticed that she changed her behavior. Actually it looked that maybe she was interested in me, maybe I was wrong but I decided to give it a try. Guess what... days come by and I think I'm falling in love by her. She is the type o girl that never had a serious relationship and usually never send a single text to a boy. But usually she sends something for me, even if it's only a smile... When i prompt questions of love she says that a relationship is born from conquer a heart, so I am trying that: last month I did a surprise with chocolates, you know, that classic thing, and asked her out so we can know each other better. She accepted immediately. But every time we have a change to get out on a meeting, at the last time she gets busy: but i mean busy with stupid things. Last week she said that she was trying to avoid. And I asked why. She replied: "I never had nothing serious with no one. I don't know what to do and i think I am afraid. You make me shy." I replied with self confidence texts like: "I'm afraid too, but if we don't risk we will never know.", "Some day we will need to lose our fears and risk..." texts like these which she agreed with me.. then she texted me with a goodnight, but completely different: no smile nor kiss. I replied with the usual smile and good night text and asked her to think about what I said. It passed more than 1 week and she didn't texted a single time yet. I didn't texted too because I want to give her time to think and want to give "her room to breath". I live by the principles: "If she don't text it means she not interested. Time to move forward." But again, she is the type of girl who don't text. Did she probably lost interest in me? Should i text? I don't want to be boring to her... Sorry for this long post, but I am so confused right now... Thanks for reading Link to post Share on other sites
Wisecrack Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 classic case of 'she's just not that interested in you' bro. A girl who is regardless won't screw you around. I suggest stop contacting her. If she contacts you then you know that she is intersted but its time to start branching out. You cannot commit to someone that is so iffy. It's just your emotions and stuff that are clouding your judgement at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ravers Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 classic case of 'she's just not that interested in you' bro. A girl who is regardless won't screw you around. I suggest stop contacting her. If she contacts you then you know that she is intersted but its time to start branching out. You cannot commit to someone that is so iffy. It's just your emotions and stuff that are clouding your judgement at the moment. You are probably right, but I don't understand why a girl shows she is interested and then from a moment to another loses the interest. I just talked to a great friend of mine (female) and asked for advice. She said that maybe i just went to fast, that i should talk again with her and asked her out but just as friends. That way she will gain confidence and notice that i am trustworthy and we can advance then... but i'm afraid of falling in the "friendzone" side :S Link to post Share on other sites
LoverOfDance Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Sorry but I really think you're wrong WiseCrack. She told you she's shy and that she's never had anything serious with anyone before. The fact that you make her shy is a very good thing. It means she likes you. Not sure how much but it seems like she definitely does. A lot of girls would NEVER contact you first even if they are interested especially those who don't have a lot of experience with relationships. Please don't give up. Don't push it or smother her with messages but definitely keep talking to her. It really doesn't hurt to ask her how she feels about you. Be bold, and ask her. It's the only way to know for sure how she really feels. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 ok the only tiem i woudlnt give a guy a chance is when i am seeing someone and i am unlikely not to tell them that...i would let them know i dont leave peoplehang its a really thoughtless inconsiderate thing to do ....no matter if you are busy you can shoot a text.......two words sorry not interested...ok three words.....its kinder to do that...i often get scared when i have strong feelings fro everyone for i put my heart my soul everything i have into it...i go all the way in spite of being scared...for it is fen the case i get beaten up on landing ....and it is not so easy to get up and walk after that....my mum says i know no other way than to get up after i fall...literally...i always do...some times it takes longer and love to me ...well takes along time...for me to get over....i never really do get over loving someone it continues but i pick myself up and move on....I would really prefer to jump out of a plane without a parachute because honestly when i go for it.....i jump regardless of the landing......she isnt being just to you to treat you this way and i think you should talk to her face to face.......i am concerned that you think you might bore her why do you feel this???....deb Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 ok in my experience as a woman who i soften scared of loving a guy, the only time i wouldnt give a guy a chance is when i am seeing someone and i am unlikely not to tell them that...i would let them know i dont leave guys hang its a really thoughtless inconsiderate thing to do ..i offer my hand in friendship..no matter if you are busy you can shoot a text.......two words sorry not interested...ok three words.....its kinder to do that... i often get scared when i have strong feelings for a guy, for i put my heart my soul everything i have into it..and i honestly can say i have hardly ever felt real seriously strong emotion for a man for god yeah ....not men other than family and or teachers i have had. i go all the way in spite of being scared...for it is often the case i get pretty beaten up on landing ....and it is not so easy to get up and walk after that....my mum says i know no other way than to get up after i fall...literally...i always do...some times it takes longer and love to me ...well takes along time...for me to get over....i never really do get over loving someone it continues but i pick myself up and move on....I would really prefer to jump out of a plane without a parachute because honestly when i go for it.....i jump regardless of the landing......she isnt being just to you to treat you this way and i think you should talk to her face to face.......i am concerned that you think you might bore her why do you feel this???....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ravers Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 i am concerned that you think you might bore her why do you feel this???....deb I know that everyone has a life... and we don't always want to text or talk. I am afraid that maybe i had been a little boring, sending some texts. Yesterday i sent her a smile. She didn't replied. It was the first time she didn't replied to a text or smile of mine. Three options: she is busy, she doesn't have text messages right now or she lost the interest. Maybe i shouldn't said that: "If we don't risk we will never know". I gave her time to think. Isn't almost 2 weeks time enough? Tomorrow i'll talk face to face to her if i have the opportunity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I wouldn't assume the problem is with yourself. She as good as admitted she has issues. She may have some bad social anxiety or something preventing her from forming bonds with people. So don't feel bad about it. But try to refocus and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ravers Posted June 26, 2014 Author Share Posted June 26, 2014 Well, i have some kind of idea... maybe i should approach her from different way... She loves video games... and i can create video games. I was thinking in creating a simple platform video game where the main concept of the game was overcoming fears. The last boss would be called "fear" and if she managed to defeat the boss it would be prompt messages like: "You overcame your fears.." I would send the game but she would have not idea of what it comes. Then i would give hints that it was I who created, etc until she beats the game. Maybe that's a stupid idea... but i don't know. I would like to hear opinions, especially if a girl would like this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 sounds a bit too subtle that idea, maybe as a gift but not as a way of confessing feelings, good idea for the future though. the problem with these kind of problems is it all about risks and you really don't know until you've played your hand and tried, you've just got to ask yourself 'is it worth the risk?' Personally i think you need to get this over with and find out which way it plays rather than all this guessing, life is too short for these kind of games. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 Well, i have some kind of idea... maybe i should approach her from different way... She loves video games... and i can create video games. I was thinking in creating a simple platform video game where the main concept of the game was overcoming fears. The last boss would be called "fear" and if she managed to defeat the boss it would be prompt messages like: "You overcame your fears.." I would send the game but she would have not idea of what it comes. Then i would give hints that it was I who created, etc until she beats the game. Maybe that's a stupid idea... but i don't know. I would like to hear opinions, especially if a girl would like this. what a cool idea unique and positive and really thoughtful.......i think its a wonderful idea.......its appealing in a sweet way.......do it......smilin....good luck....deb Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 I think once a woman has let you know she's not interested and cooled off, you need to respect that and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ravers Posted July 9, 2014 Author Share Posted July 9, 2014 Well, bad news: I've been finishing the game... meanwhile I was able to get out with her, talk with her and have a good time with her. The thing is I noticed she was talking a lot about a boy... she called him his best friend.. even called him her brother. I could finish the game today... but... when i was about to talk to her about the game... she posted on facebook: "cause sometimes, best friends turns into boyfriend"... I guess its game over for me ehh? The thing its... i'm not mad. I thought that I would react much worse if she did that. Maybe I was preparing myself all those weeks waiting just for this... I don't know. I guess its time to move on and just forget about this maybe i could use the game for a future girl.. who knows? Thanks all for your patience and answers and good fortune in love! Link to post Share on other sites
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