Griesfootball Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 This may sound crazy but say your ex broke up with you. They might have even told you to move on. Let's say the relationship was 12-18 months, families close, good connection and intimate bond, life is short,the suggested thing is to move on and find someone new. But do you ever feel like hey I'm young and I think this could be the one I will just focus on myself and wait on him/her for a few months. I find myself feeling this way it's almost 3 months since the breakup and I just have no desire to date anybody else. I know it's a huge risk because it delays your moving on process but when you date somebody longer than the honeymoon period I think we all know if it's something that can be long term or not so if you think it could be long term what do you do? I know you can't force somebody back but do you give them the chance of reconnecting? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 No. A breakup for me is permanent. Once it's gone you can never get it back to how it was. Move on... Link to post Share on other sites
April Moon Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 No I would never wait for anyone because I deserve more than that. I deserve someone who is "not confused" about their feelings for me. Op it has only been 3 months...you need more time to heal yourself. Please don't wait on him because he is not waiting on you. I know it's hard to hear these things but it'll be harder when you discover that while you have been waiting he has been looking for Mrs. Right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Smarty Pants Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Having that mindset is very dangerous. Do you yhink your ex is thinking that way? Don't put all your eggs in one basket. They may never come back and you'll be kicking yourself for not moving on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 No. A breakup for me is permanent. Once it's gone you can never get it back to how it was. Move on... This is very blunt... I like your style. haha I agree with this and I don't agree with this. That's how YOU feel about breakups but not everyone feels the same way. Couples have been known to reconcile and somehow come out better and stronger the next go round. Timing and maturity play the main roles to any success story. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 That's how YOU feel about breakups but not everyone feels the same way. Yes and the original question was how do YOU feel about them 1 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Having said that... Let me also clarify that I certainly do not think it is healthy for anyone to wait for their ex to return. You have to get back on your feet, dust off your shoulders and take the opportunity to grow and better yourself in any way possible. For it is a new chapter in your life, leave no page blank. Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyConnection23 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Waiting for an ex may sound like a grand gesture of love but it really doesn't accomplish anything. If you really think there is any future with you two together you need to move on and grow as a person. See where life takes you and experience everything it has to offer. After doing that and really thinking about yourself and realizing you still want another shot, they reach out. But don't just spend all summer inside waiting for her to call you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Griesfootball Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 Having that mindset is very dangerous. Do you yhink your ex is thinking that way? Don't put all your eggs in one basket. They may never come back and you'll be kicking yourself for not moving on. I'd say that there are times where she thinks like that but I know she doesn't when she is busy with family/work/friends. And it has been difficult for me, it was the first serious relationship for both parties and so I find myself in denial sometimes of what is reality and I don't really know right from wrong being in my first breakup. Some days are definitely worse Link to post Share on other sites
Smarty Pants Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I'd say that there are times where she thinks like that but I know she doesn't when she is busy with family/work/friends. And it has been difficult for me, it was the first serious relationship for both parties and so I find myself in denial sometimes of what is reality and I don't really know right from wrong being in my first breakup. Some days are definitely worse Even if she thinks that way sometimes, her feelings aren't strong enough to come back. Not any time soon. Hence why you should not wait. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Griesfootball Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 All I can say is that love sucks after this experience. They do say that first relationship/breakup teaches you a lot though Link to post Share on other sites
shoegal4 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I fully understand where you're at and I'm right in the thick of it right now. However, no matter how old you are- NO ONE is worth putting your life on hold. Especially if it coincides with your own personal happiness. Live honey, live! Get out there and keep on keeping on. If he/she comes back, great but if he/she doesn't, that's OK too. You will find someone who will not second guess about being with you and eventually the pain and anguish you feel will be a distant memory. Waiting around for someone will make you bitter, not better and getting over someone is ALL about making yourself BETTER! I think you know the right thing to do, it's just hard. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 All I can say is that love sucks after this experience. They do say that first relationship/breakup teaches you a lot though Ahh, but see, love doesn't suck... PEOPLE suck. RSs are definitely over-rated though. I've learned that being in a RS is NOT the most important thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
redbaron005 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 ...so if you think it could be long term what do you do? I know you can't force somebody back but do you give them the chance of reconnecting? "The Master allows things to happen. He shapes events as they come. He steps out of the way and lets the 'path' speak for itself." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Griesfootball Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 I'm slowly realizing that she wanted out and to respect it and not be selfish. She had said when breaking up I need time and space to figure things out. I did all those natural reactive things though. But I also realize that it doesn't mean I should just lay down and submit to this person. Thank you all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 By the time any relationship ended for me, I was simply done. There was nothing left to save or wait for. I prefer to put is all out there, while we were still together . . . to see what can be done to save it. Once somebody pulls the trigger, it's done. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 I waited after my last break up, let's say, for about 7-8 months. And after all that time, do you know what I realized? It was a waste of my time. My advice is to let go as fast as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
irresolute Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 While you're waiting in cain, he's probably getting laid and trying to meet new people. Cmon. Move on please 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 No. Why would I wait for anyone? I have better things to do with my time. Link to post Share on other sites
PersonaPersona Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 With one of my ex's, I did. The whole time, it sucked really bad because I would check their Facebook constantly and once I saw that they were with someone else, not too long after we broke up. It hurt really bad. Eventually, I got tired of feeling like s*** all the time and stopped caring. Guess who came back once I stopped giving a f***? My ex. Did it feel good? Nope. Did I take him back? No. I knew that if I did, things would never change. Link to post Share on other sites
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