still_an_Angel Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Yeah ex hubby was acting as a shoulder to cry on. Then one night he got drunk and decided to drunken dial MM. Don't know what he planned to say... I just wish d-day would get here one way or another. I should send her a link to this thread. But I often wonder if she knows but doesn't want to know. Would rather stay in denial. . .he says she sometimes asks about me, like when he's getting ready to leave. And, oddly, he is showing affair symptoms that he wouldn't even recognize - new clothes, attention to appearance, he even did a little man-scaping. He does not plan to leave because he will lose his empire. I think he expects to get turfed. His daughter lives in another province and he's hoping his wife will head there for a good long time to teach daughter how to handle baby. Hi Solo, I've been watching all your posts as your story unfolds. I'm quite curious, you have mentioned before that dday is near and you believe she knows. Should dday indeed come, and W chooses to look the other way and they stay married, would you be happy to continue the relationship with MM? Link to post Share on other sites
Author solostand Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 No I don't think I would. I don't think she's the type to turn away. I think she's in denial now, but when the truth confronts her she is the type to show up at my door. Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 However, I know MM very well and I know his thought process went more like this: "Hey, I'm not hungry and this is a delicious sandwich that is made of lobster and I bet OW would love it." No wife thought at all. . . Maybe I'm confusing your story, but isn't this the same guy who had some fantasy about you and the BW being in the same place after having sex with you so he could look at you with her next to him knowing he had just been inside you? I think you may be fooling yourself here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GreySkyMorning Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I just am not seeing good things in the future here for you. I have a feeling that you are mistaken if you think this man is going to end up with you if you tell her. You sound just like me. I thought that too. God, we were sooooo in love. Hahaha. He proclaimed many times that he wanted to be with me, he loved me, couldn't stand the thought of a life without me in it, etc. His wife's last marriage had ended because of infidelity and I would have swore she wouldn't put up with finding out he was unfaithful too. They had just had their first grandchild only a month before our relationship turned physical. He would do things that made it look like he didn't care if he got caught. I mentioned that to him one day and he just laughed. He said if she found out, it was over between she and him, even if she wanted to reconcile. She found out, he threw me under the bus so fast that I bounced. She forgave all and he stayed there. I even got to hear how things were so much better in their marriage, during the whole hysterical bonding crap, than they'd ever been before. Solo, she's not going to throw him out and start over again in her life at this age. He's not going to leave her and start over again in his life. Why would he? If he really wanted to be with you and loved you as much as he says, he'd be at your side now and not climbing in bed with another woman every night. A grandchild is a bonding event and he's not going to take the chance on losing access to his grandchild if his daughter finds out. If you want to tell her, do so. I'd encourage it. She has a right to know. But don't expect things to go well and to end up with him. More than likely, he's gonna be on his knees in front of her begging for forgiveness and you'll be alone somewhere crying. Please don't think I'm just trying to be mean. I'm speaking from experience. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Solo...my thought is kind of along the same lines as what Realist said. If you're going to tell her...then do it. Make it happen. It IS that simple. Not easy...but not complex. Link to post Share on other sites
WasOtherWoman Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I am still trying to figure out if you ate this lobster sandwich (which sounds disgusting by the way, no offense!) for BREAKFAST? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author solostand Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 Well, it was kind of brunch. 10 a.m.? I live in lobster country. Someone owes him five hundred dollars worth of lobster. Now that I've been thinking about that sandwich, I remember him once last summer telling me he threw out her sandwich in the graveyard. Also, no I didn't throw up. I didn't actually give it much thought until after. Duh I can be stupid some times. Another time he told me he forgot his cell phone at home and drove back ten miles for it. I thought it was because the vehicle phone is so expensive per minute, and I said that. He laughed and said "Yeah, that's why I made the trip home." Then of course I realized that cell phone was sitting on the kitchen table where she could easily turn it on, search his history, and answer if I called it - which I often do. Couldn't take THAT risk. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 What do you hope will happen after you tell her? Are you hoping she will accept it in a pleasant way and you can have some arrangement where he's in an open marriage? Do you hope she kicks him out and then he has no choice now but to be with you? You're saying you want her to know and you love her husband....but I'm wondering about what you imagine the fallout will be and what you think will happen with MM after you tell? Are you fed up with him and just want to be done altogether and do you know that telling could also potentially mean it's over for you two or do you think telling will open new doors and windows of opportunity for your relationship? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 (edited) I told him to thank his wife for the sandwich. Am I the only one who laughed and felt really sad and the same time at possible interpretations of this statement (on several levels) from OW to a WH with two women? In a mood I guess today. Edited June 24, 2014 by dichotomy 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Smilecharmer Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I told him to thank his wife for the sandwich. Am I the only one who laughed and felt really sad and the same time at possible interpretations of this statement (on several levels) from OW to a WH with two women? In a mood I guess today. It is almost like a big mockery of the BS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruffian1 Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Is this the same MM that is 15 yrs older than you, is a millionair? Don't be surprised even if she does kick him out that he finds another younger woman or two to mess around with. He will have more time to screw around then. Link to post Share on other sites
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