mohhoss213 Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Hi, I want to say I don't have an overwhelming fear of infidelity happening to me in a future relationship, but it is a concern to me. You see I'm on the Autism scale and I have a lack of emotional and social intelligence. I've been going to therapy/reading literature to help with the development of my emotional/social understanding. One interesting article I came across was managing negative reactions/expectations when a partner does something that you perceive as hurtful. In my case I'm not very emotionally expressive and I usually like to keep to myself to deal with most problems. Some might view it as a negative like 'oh he must not like me or whatever, that's why he's avoiding me." When in reality it's just a natural reaction to me. From there hurt and resentment builds up which causes some people to look to external sources for help. Rather than just taking some time in introspection and thinking maybe it's not me, it's him. I should just think a little less on impulse so I can have a calm discussion with him about my feelings rather than placing blame and not confronting the issue. At least that's my opinion and you guys are free to criticize and educate me since I've never been in a relationship before. Do you feel that the ability to reflect and confront your demons is something that is not emphasized in society today? If so, what gets in the way of deep introspection? I want to encourage my partner to be candid and tell me what's bothering her so I can do my part because I'm far from an ideal partner and I'm still learning about the emotional and social aspects of a relationship. On the other side, I can see how just ignoring the hurt and managing your negative reactions can be taken too far. I have conditioned myself to manage all my stress and feelings inside my mind. I've learned it is unrealistic nor healthy to expect humans to internalize and deal with their thoughts/feelings as people like myself have done. I guess that's the beauty and important benefits of having healthy relationship(s) to ease all that undue stress. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I think you are putting too much thought on this subject. When somebody cheats it isn't because of their partner, it's because of them. And no matter how much you talk about it you can't miraculously change or fix a person, that's their own job. Some manage to overcome, the sad majority though just looses their hesitation to do it again. There's always a chance for you to get hurt when you're opening up to another person. That's why you should pick carefully until you find someone who'd be 'worth the trouble'. Link to post Share on other sites
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