Regret closure email letter [update]

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

This will probably be an unpopular opinion, but she may have genuinely wanted to reach out to you, and there's no reason to blow her off if it makes you feel worse. If she contacts you again I would respond with something like this:

 

"Say exactly what you want from me or don't bother."

 

I think it's sufficiently firm without being mean. You don't have time for games and have too much self-respect to deal with her crap. If she responds with "I've been reconsidering what happened and would like to discuss a possible reconciliation", then you can decide how you feel about it. If it's any variation of "I miss you but don't know if I want to be with you" or if it just sounds like she's desperate for attention then ignore it.

[BC1980]

Thanks

Can't believe it is taking this long. It's just over 4 months now. I'm sure she's doing great and is not thinking about me at all today and why the hell do I care? I think she did some of her last contact just to F with me and I don't know why. I guess in the end, you do want to feel like the person did love or care about you and I don't have that feeling any more that she really did because of where we are now. I can't believe I would be hoping that she would call and want to get back together so we could really try this time. I know it's stupid, but that's my heart talking. This is not healthy thinking. Maybe i do just need to stop worry about dating, but I think I need to find someone (even a rebound) to help get over her.

 

I'd be careful about using another person to help get over her. I did that after my first relationship. I went right into another one, and it did help me forget about the first ex. However, I never dealt with the issues that caused the first breakup, and I never learned how to value myself and what to look for in a healthy relationship. It wasn't very fair to the second guy either because I wasn't in an emotionally healthy place. It was selfish of me to use the second guy to get over the first, though I didn't see it that way at the time.

 

The time it takes to get over a relationship isn't necessarily directly related to the relationship's length. A lot of it depends on what the relationship represented to you. I've had four relationships, and this last one has been h*ll to get over because it represented something different to me than the previous ones. I had a relationship in grad school that only lasted a few months, and it took me 6 months to get over because of the way it ended.

[dumbass2]

This will probably be an unpopular opinion, but she may have genuinely wanted to reach out to you, and there's no reason to blow her off if it makes you feel worse. If she contacts you again I would respond with something like this:

 

"Say exactly what you want from me or don't bother."

 

I think it's sufficiently firm without being mean. You don't have time for games and have too much self-respect to deal with her crap. If she responds with "I've been reconsidering what happened and would like to discuss a possible reconciliation", then you can decide how you feel about it. If it's any variation of "I miss you but don't know if I want to be with you" or if it just sounds like she's desperate for attention then ignore it.

 

"She is a long time nurse and a few months before the break up she had talked to me about my bp medication and suggested something else and said when I go for my 6 month refills to discuss it with my doctor. My appointment was coming up in 5 days so I left her a message just asking if she could get back to me on what it was so I can discuss it with him and let her know when the appointment was. That's all. Nothing else, just a short message and told her I would greatly appreciate it.

 

Appointment comes and goes. That was this last Thursday. Not even a text with the name of the drug she had mentioned."

 

This is part from a recent past post you may not have read. She has sent me mixed signals throughout. Why the hell she couldn't do this really baffled me. I really don't know why I'd want to see her after that. I guess love is blind because I do, but I also think about this a lot and then it lessens my desire. She has not apologized or given any reason for not doing it. It's not like it was truly life threatening, but it still would have been the decent thing to do in a text at least.