Should I Be Upset

[SmartDude]

I also know a few things about computers as well(mostly hardware).

 

So if the phone is set to join available wifi networks automatically, You could easily drive around and find if the phone was connecting to unsecured networks....and see which ones. The network name may or may not give good clues, as im sure you know. But it could be a good start.

 

If there are networks that require authentication, and its only hotels...He would need a reason to actually go in and get the password. Unless there is another explanation, right?

[bigred007]

Hubby is remorseful about the porn, denies he contacted or got contacted by anyone, and we are on therapy. He admits he might have had a mild sex addiction and seems to be working on it by controlling his thoughts, substituting exercise for porn, etc. He now thinks porn is not healthy. Our therapist told us in the 20+ years of therapy no marriage survived porn and swapping.

[Chi townD]

This has been my dilemma. I do not want to be married to a man who is a liar. If he messed up then just admit it, show me what u are going to do to fix it, apologize to me and go to counseling and we can fix it. I feel like the last 7 months we have been playing cops and robbers instead. Do not lie to me when it is pretty easy to see what u have been doing. I am not that hard to talk to and I am a pretty forgiving person.

 

 

Okay, I think I see what's going on here.

 

 

So, divorce him! He's an evil person. You have EVERY RIGHT to kick his ass to the curb. Hell, put him through the ringer in divorce court.

 

 

I mean, that's what you want to hear isn't it?

 

 

I mean, you thought he was cheating on you. Sorry, my spidey senses didn't go off for cheating. They did go off him looking at porn. And I truly believe that he caught a spam email from an escort service. THEN, you believed that he was seeing an escort.

 

 

You call the escort up and she had to ask you if he was black or white. Basically, that didn't pan out for you and it was a dead end.

 

 

Looked for a burner phone, couldn't find one.

 

 

Now, you don't want to be married to a liar. It feels like you're looking for ANY excuse to get rid of your husband.

 

 

So, there you go! Go ahead and get divorced.

Edited July 10, 2014 by Chi townD

[firmness]

Dear Bigred. Something a married female friend told me once over drinks after my divorce... if a woman is acting unusually suspicious and claims vocally (protesteth too much) that she is/has not cheated, she is probably guilty of something.

 

The more I read your posts and replies, the more you are looking guilty to me. You had my support in the beginning, but more and more you are looking like someone who desperately needs to get the upper hand - the moral high ground.

 

This feels more like a game you are playing.

 

You remind me of my ex wife. She was absolutely desperate for 20 years to catch me cheating. So I divorced her.

 

If you are any type of decent human being you will leave this man and not waste one more day of his life.

 

I intend no disrespect here, just speaking from personal experience and overwhelming numbers of stories from women about such things.

 

That's the upside of having good intelligent female friends over 40 - they have amazing insights into human behavior.

[bigred007]

No cheating on my part. I get a lot of looks from other men which is flattering but I would not cheat on my husband. I love him and have never entertained the thought.

 

I guess I am upset because my husband and I shared porn for many years with no problem. It was fun to watch while intimate with my husband. We would purchase DVDs from Adam & Eve when we wanted to see something different. We shared masturbation. We masturbated solo

but shared our fantasies, etc.

 

Then all of a sudden my husband began looking at Penthouse letters without ever sharing with me. I used to write him erotic letters and he said this made him think of using Penthouse letters for more variety.

 

About 6 months after this, he figured out he could watch porn on his smartphone. He was going to bed early to masturbate to porn each night for several months. Sometimes I would hear noises that sounded like him talking (when he was supposed to be sleeping). I thought it was him snoring or dreaming.

 

I started noticing when we were intimate, he would become less erect while inside me. Even during positions that normally drove him wild, he would have to pull out and stroke it with his hand to get firmer. I thought he was not turned on by me anymore.

 

To be honest it made me feel weird and unsexy. I started avoiding him for sex and the frequency dropped to once a week or so. I think he stepped up the porn during this time.

 

Then he acted really weird those three weeks- avoiding me, no sex, turning me down for sex, etc. This is when I started looking at his calls and texts and saw the text from the prostitute that said only "hey".

 

It really seems he could have contacted her but her story seemed to check out (she meant to text guy with number similar to my hubbys).

 

Now it should be easy to see why I freaked out. Hubby who shared porn with me goes into hiding and has secret masturbation and porn life.

Why hide it if he is not doing anything wrong?

[Chi townD]

 

Why hide it if he is not doing anything wrong?

 

 

 

 

Because we (males) were raised to believe that appreciating the female form is wrong.

 

 

Goes back to the days when we were boys and Mom caught us looking at a Playboy we stole off our Uncle and Mom catches you hiding in the garage looking at it.

 

 

Mom would be upset that you would be looking at that garbage and giving you the "Wait till your father gets home" speech. Thus, ingraining into our heads that you have to hide your appreciation of how beautiful the form of a woman's naked body is. Because (apparently) it's wrong.