A Beautiful Pain

[Chutee]

Hi, this is my first post here. I've struggled with breakups in the past a lot. I think I am more sensitive then others and take it really hard. I used to think that there was something wrong with me. But I recently ended something, and came to a realization. That unless you get married to someone, it will inevitably end in breakup and pain. The pain is difficult, but it is beautiful at the same time. Here is a what I wrote in my journal and it's really helped me. I know it's kinda corny but it summarizes every relationship I've had.

 

A beautiful pain: You meet someone. Your eyes lock. You smile at each other. There’s something exciting, something magical about that moment when you think can this be something special? You fall. You fall hard, You fall fast. It’s amazing, it’s special. You feel like you’re on top of the world. Endorphins kicking in, you start to wonder if this can be love. Then something happens. It goes two ways. One way ends in marriage the other like this: You snap out of the trance. Your brain takes over. You start to think of why it will never work out. You have a fight. You see her in a different light. And then. The feeling is gone. You break up. The beautiful feeling is gone and something must replace it. The beautiful pain is all you’re left with. It can be all encompassing, or just simply there. But It’s a way of life. If it wasn’t there, you wouldn’t be human. You would be a robot. So I’m glad the pain is here. I will embrace the pain. Your pain wouldn’t be there without the pleasure before it. You can’t be scared off by the pain for future relationships. You must embrace it and know that it is a part of being human. You can’t confuse this pain as you making a mistake with the break up either. Trust your instincts you broke up with her for a reason.

 

Thanks for listening.

[triniechu]

Hey there!

 

I totally understand what you're going through. I feel the same way. My ex broke up with me and I was devastated. Tomorrow marks a month that we have been broken up and feeling less devastated now. I feel this May be a blessing in disguise. The pain was definitely worth it for me, I'm learning from my mistakes and all I can do is better myself.

 

As much as I want him back, I don't think it will ever be the same again. So I decided to leave it behind and move on no matter how much it hurts. I'll learn and grow from this.