Why is he so jealous and over-protective?

[Lovebite]

So this fella who I have been friends with (not sexually) is a bit weird. He is a big partier, yet when I go to parties he gets upset and jealous. He screws a bunch girls, yet when I hang out with guys or whatever he gets mad and jealous. He goes to bars ALL the time, yet I go to bars here and there and he gets upset and jealous though when I do go to bars. He drinks a lot, I smoke weed, not alot, but I smoke weed, and he gets really mad about that.

 

Also he sticks up for me when I am wrong. He also "hates the people I hang out with" when he doesn't even know who I hang out with. He also will sometimes ask me where I am going, or what I am doing etc. And I will respond with "Why do you care?" and he says "I'm keeping tabs" What is that suppose to mean? He gets so upset about guys. He mentions girls sometimes, yet when I mention guys sometimes he gets all weirded out and upset. I am 20 yrs old by the way, and he is 26. He almost acts like I am out of control or something? When I am a responsible, good girl over all. I work full time, and go to college. I am not a partier, I just party when I can...haha. But I am not like him. Why the double standard? What makes a person this protective and jealous? Just wondering. Thanks!

[Scarlet2]

It sounds like he likes you but he's still unsure so he's observing. I would keep doing what you're doing if you like what you're doing because the minute you stop doing whatever he's upset about, it will change his perspective and it might not be a good thing. If he stopped acting jealous, wouldn't it change how you see him? Don't fix what's not broken otherwise it will break.

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

This might be romantic, but it might not. It honestly sounds more like an older brother-type of reaction. I have a guy friend who's a fair deal older than me and he's extremely protective; I couldn't figure it out until I learned I was his little sister's age. You may remind him of someone else in his life who he wanted to protect.

[Lovebite]

It sounds like he likes you but he's still unsure so he's observing. I would keep doing what you're doing if you like what you're doing because the minute you stop doing whatever he's upset about, it will change his perspective and it might not be a good thing. If he stopped acting jealous, wouldn't it change how you see him? Don't fix what's not broken otherwise it will break.

 

Yeah sound about right...no it wouldn't change anything. I am just curious about his behavior is all. thanks!

[Lovebite]

This might be romantic, but it might not. It honestly sounds more like an older brother-type of reaction. I have a guy friend who's a fair deal older than me and he's extremely protective; I couldn't figure it out until I learned I was his little sister's age. You may remind him of someone else in his life who he wanted to protect.

 

Yeah I getcha! I know it's not in a sisterly way cause he flirts with me too much for it to be that way, haha. I just don't understand this behavior is all, but thanks for the feedback!

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

Yeah I getcha! I know it's not in a sisterly way cause he flirts with me too much for it to be that way, haha. I just don't understand this behavior is all, but thanks for the feedback!

 

Nah, flirting doesn't necessarily mean anything either. Plenty of people flirt without meaning it seriously. The age difference between 20 and 26 is significant, and he probably doesn't want you making the dumb mistakes he did at that age. When you mention the "keeping tabs" and stuff, that sounds more to me like an overprotective friend/brother than a potential romantic partner. Someone who was genuinely into you as a love interest would actually make an effort to be with you rather than just go to bars and screw random women wherever.