I think this time it really is over.

[BG11]

Those people were told about what was going on, not because they discovered it.

 

He does not know anything about what has been going on between us, he was fishing. He didn't send it randomly. He sent it because he was on her phone at the time, and she had left the mode we use as on. Her phone got a notification of my message when he was using it. He was using it because when they went out to lunch he dropped his phone and broke the glass. She had messaged me 5 minutes prior saying not to message.

 

The choice about his life is totally his wife's. It was her choice and her choice alone to get involved with me. I didn't hold a gun to her head. She knew full well what the fallout could be. Even after this mistake she still wants to continue it on a more limited basis while this blows over, to which I said no.

 

 

Whether they were told or discovered it does not matter. What matters is that people talk and the more people who know about it means the more likely something has gotten back to him. Also, I highly doubt they have all kept it to themselves and not told anyone else.

 

In regards to her H I doubt he didn't suspect something before. People rarely just randomly fish by sending a message from the SO phone saying "lets meet at our usual spot." He most likely suspected something and wanted confirmation.

 

You are listening to his wife's description of the events but you have no idea what is going on in that guys head.

 

Also, you can't use a cop out like "I didn't hold a gun to her head," and "It was her choice to get involved." Yes it was her choice but you also made the choice to enter someone else's family and cause all of this destruction simply because you don't want to do the right thing and leave your wife.

[Scarlet2]

Those people were told about what was going on, not because they discovered it.

 

He does not know anything about what has been going on between us, he was fishing. He didn't send it randomly. He sent it because he was on her phone at the time, and she had left the mode we use as on. Her phone got a notification of my message when he was using it. He was using it because when they went out to lunch he dropped his phone and broke the glass. She had messaged me 5 minutes prior saying not to message.

 

The choice about his life is totally his wife's. It was her choice and her choice alone to get involved with me. I didn't hold a gun to her head. She knew full well what the fallout could be. Even after this mistake she still wants to continue it on a more limited basis while this blows over, to which I said no.

 

This is exactly why my MM has told me not to text him or call anymore unless I know he's working because he's afraid of something like this happening. His W will use his phone for whatever reason, like if it's closer to grab than her own, and if the phone receives a random text from me while she's on it, oh man forget about it. He wants to avoid this at all costs but the restraint on my part is very hard.

 

I wish I had a joint account but with my MM, he can't remember passwords and usernames to save his life so it wouldn't work for us plus he'd forget to clear history and cookies. I can't even get him to play game apps with me, again afraid of the notifications appearing on the phone.

 

I can understand how the restrictiveness could be a deal breaker.

[dichotomy]

Not really. There is no open anything. He gets to do as he so chooses and she can't do anything about it, other than divorce him, in which case she would be screwed out of about 75% of what is truly hers. She basically gave up on being concerned about it. It would not be her preference, but it is what it is. So in a sense by her inaction she is by omission condoning it.

 

My wife knows and has known after she busted me in the first three months. They are actually somewhat similar, but I have never attempted to screw her out of what is rightfully hers. I have never hidden any assets or set up companies under another person to hide my income.

 

 

All that aside, the most important thing is our kids. We both want to keep our family unit intact. Now that I am tied to her, through his eyes I assume, I don't think it is prudent to spend time trying to out guess this guy. Given his history, I would guess he has already put a PI on me. Why play into that? PI's work when they can identify two people. When she was followed before they had no other person to link her to. When you see person A and person B going to the same places at the same times, time and time again that pattern serves as proof, even though you may not be seen together. Sure it can be done, but that is just too much for me at this point. The hoop jumping was sort of fun for the first couple of years, but not anymore.

 

The interesting thing will be in two weeks when one of my daughters goes to a cheer leading camp she is running.

 

I guess by open what I mean was everyone kind of knows what the game is - I mean her husband has a well compensated mistress - his wife (your OW) knows this and she gave up. So whats the point of him caring his wife has a lover - other than posssivness and not allowing his wife to do what he does - have an affair partner?

 

With your wife knowing whats going on - none of this sounds (strange to say) really like a bunch of cheaters - rather like a kind of quiet understanding among all (except maybe OW husband who has a double standard).

[txgrl]

I'm sorry for your pain .

I doNOT think you're done, I can tell that you have not reached that point where you are filled with a feeling of utter disgust and disappointment with your own decisions and violating your own basic morals . THEN, you're done! You just feel it in your heart and then you will stop at all costs .

 

I guarantee you two will start back up after a while . You guys live close to each other , you haven't blocked her, she's already trying to get back in touch , your daughter will go to her camp... Disaster awaits!

 

An oh, don't fool yourself . Her husband knows . You two just think that he doesn't know .

 

And also, you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors between husband and wife . Even if you know him personally and have knowledge if his affair etc, please donot let that make your own affair any better in your mind .

 

I know how you feel . I've been there, in and out the A cycle till you break it one day and then stick to it . It is extremely hard and very rewarding eventually when you know you're finally leading an honest life , no deceit , no lying yo yourself, holding your head up high .

 

If you really mean to end it, maybe talk to your wife, recommit to her, tell her the A is over , ad maybe move? Move away from her, have your wife pick and drop your daughter from the camp .

 

I really do wish you the best . I donot see it ending without a very conscious effort on your end to END it . Best .

[still_an_Angel]

Agree with txgrl and Tyrone, it seems you made the decision to split at the heat of that particular moment, I think at that point it became just too hard. Its like you just gave up because that incident was too much with a heavy blanket thrown over that the light became invisible. But you guys have navigated through all these issues before and have come up with ways to get around. Maybe, given time, your brain will start finding solutions again. She is not done, she's actually willing to take on more challenges (it seems) so this breakup is not mutual.

 

 

Be careful of her H, he may not know the locations of the numbers pre-agreed between you two but there's really no telling how much he knows at this point. I'm a bit concerned because as you said, he is trying to cheat your AP out of her portion of the money if they D, he's probably collecting evidence so just watch your backs.

[revelations]

Myself I will not knowingly be with any woman that has a husband or is in a relationship. To me that is just wrong to do to someone else. Truthfully I don't see how I would be able to trust a woman that is already cheating on her husband anyway. There is no way that I could have any respect for someone like this.

 

He gets to do as he so chooses and she can't do anything about it, other than divorce him, in which case she would be screwed out of about 75% of what is truly hers.

I would like to ask you is this money truly hers? Did she go out and earn this money and her BH took it from her? Or are you stating that it is hers simply because she is married to him? The truth is that women cheat all the time and they will often clean out their BH's putting their finances in ruin and threats of jail if they are unable to pay alimony. So if her BH is hiding his assets from her, he is doing a wise thing. Truthfully the wiser thing would have been to never marry her at all. Now do not get me wrong, I am not saying that her BH was okay to cheat in the past. However in my book she has no right to anything that he has earned himself. This whole thing about cleaning out another persons assets and collecting alimony should be abolished. Alimony is slavery plain and simple.

 

Realist3 you are of no better character than your AP or her BH in my book. Aside for cheating on your wife you are also co-signing another woman to cheat on her husband. To top this off your justifying her actions by stating that she cannot divorce because she cannot clean out her BH. I am going to be blunt with you. You are the kind of guy that ruins it for all the other men that actually show good character. You are the reason they have these slavery laws that are thinly disguised as alimony. If you want my advice you would drop this other woman and work on yourself. If you think that your AP deserves the money that her BH earned then what about you? Why don't you give your BW a divorce and give her all of your assets? Heck if you think your AP deserves her BH's money then does your BW not deserve all of yours?

 

Do yourself a favor and stop the lying and be honest with yourself and others. Stop trying to justify your actions that are destroying other peoples lives. As much as I try to defend and help BH's on here and point out how family courts screw over men, you come along and give everyone else ammo for continuing to do this. What you have been doing is not cool or fun and damn sure does not make you a man. So why don't you decide to become honest with yourself and others, dump the AP and take responsibility for your actions? Now if you do this I will speak to the others and we will decide if we should give you back your Man Card. Until then consider your Man Card to be revoked.

[tornapart2002]

I guess I'm confused why people would want to add that complication to their life...sneaking around, being nervous about being caught, lying all the time to people who love you, putting yourself at emotional and physical risk. Divorce your spouses if you "love" each other that much.

 

Sounds like it's just a damn thrill to you. How about jumping out of planes or bungee jumping. At least doing those you aren't hurting other people, innocent children, and the ripple affect it has on other members of the family in the process.

[tornapart2002]

Gosh this is awesome!

 

Myself I will not knowingly be with any woman that has a husband or is in a relationship. To me that is just wrong to do to someone else. Truthfully I don't see how I would be able to trust a woman that is already cheating on her husband anyway. There is no way that I could have any respect for someone like this.

 

I would like to ask you is this money truly hers? Did she go out and earn this money and her BH took it from her? Or are you stating that it is hers simply because she is married to him? The truth is that women cheat all the time and they will often clean out their BH's putting their finances in ruin and threats of jail if they are unable to pay alimony. So if her BH is hiding his assets from her, he is doing a wise thing. Truthfully the wiser thing would have been to never marry her at all. Now do not get me wrong, I am not saying that her BH was okay to cheat in the past. However in my book she has no right to anything that he has earned himself. This whole thing about cleaning out another persons assets and collecting alimony should be abolished. Alimony is slavery plain and simple.

 

Realist3 you are of no better character than your AP or her BH in my book. Aside for cheating on your wife you are also co-signing another woman to cheat on her husband. To top this off your justifying her actions by stating that she cannot divorce because she cannot clean out her BH. I am going to be blunt with you. You are the kind of guy that ruins it for all the other men that actually show good character. You are the reason they have these slavery laws that are thinly disguised as alimony. If you want my advice you would drop this other woman and work on yourself. If you think that your AP deserves the money that her BH earned then what about you? Why don't you give your BW a divorce and give her all of your assets? Heck if you think your AP deserves her BH's money then does your BW not deserve all of yours?

 

Do yourself a favor and stop the lying and be honest with yourself and others. Stop trying to justify your actions that are destroying other peoples lives. As much as I try to defend and help BH's on here and point out how family courts screw over men, you come along and give everyone else ammo for continuing to do this. What you have been doing is not cool or fun and damn sure does not make you a man. So why don't you decide to become honest with yourself and others, dump the AP and take responsibility for your actions? Now if you do this I will speak to the others and we will decide if we should give you back your Man Card. Until then consider your Man Card to be revoked.

[KathyM]

As another poster said, it's kind of ironic how you, who have repeatedly claimed on LS how affairs can go undetected if people take precautions, and you were so sure you were never going to be discovered, you have now been discovered, and could end up with some pretty bad consequences. Her BH is onto you now. He's seen the red flag, and he is likely to investigate further. Even if you stop the affair now, he could likely find evidence of the affair. No plan of secrecy is foolproof. All it takes is one small slip up or just the intuition of a BS that something is wrong, and a person's world and family will be blown up. You were playing with fire, and now there will likely be a fallout. As another poster said, it's doubtful the BS is going to back off at this point. On the contrary, his suspicions are raised, and he will likely do a more thorough investigation. The BS of this woman may be a creep himself, but there's very few men who would accept their wife cheating on them without taking action. I know a man who was a serial cheater who had multiple Ddays, and his wife kept taking him back. As soon as he discovered she had an affair, he divorced her, and blew up their family. Double standard for sure, but many men have those double standards. They consider their infidelity as something that should be tolerated. Boys will be boys, and all of that. But they consider their wife as their property, and they will not be made a fool of or share their wife with another man.

 

 

I hope you are done with this now. When you mess with other men's wives, you are putting your life at risk. Most men don't take too kindly to some guy banging their wife.

[Mr. Lucky]

All that aside, the most important thing is our kids. We both want to keep our family unit intact.

That is such a...not even sure of the right word...strange? interesting? statement in light of everything that's happened.

 

Mr. Lucky

[Realist3]

Agree with txgrl and Tyrone, it seems you made the decision to split at the heat of that particular moment, I think at that point it became just too hard. Its like you just gave up because that incident was too much with a heavy blanket thrown over that the light became invisible. But you guys have navigated through all these issues before and have come up with ways to get around. Maybe, given time, your brain will start finding solutions again. She is not done, she's actually willing to take on more challenges (it seems) so this breakup is not mutual.

 

 

Be careful of her H, he may not know the locations of the numbers pre-agreed between you two but there's really no telling how much he knows at this point. I'm a bit concerned because as you said, he is trying to cheat your AP out of her portion of the money if they D, he's probably collecting evidence so just watch your backs.

 

 

There is no evidence to collect, and I'm not going to give him any. He saw one message that said nothing personal. As I mentioned previously if he had seen the message just prior or after the one he did see we would be talking a whole different ballgame here. It would have been a slam dunk. Secondly, she is very vigilant in how she has conducted this, as I don't have to hide anything. If she didn't think she was in the clear she would not have spent roughly 9 hours out of the next 24 talking to me. He doesn't have anything at this point. That is why I think it is best just to end it while there is nothing.

 

I can't predict the future of what might or might not happen between us, but right now I am holding firm in my decision.

 

I'm a bit concerned because as you said, he is trying to cheat your AP out of her portion of the money if they D, he's probably collecting evidence so just watch your backs.

 

That is illegal in this state, and he has been doing it since before I was on the scene. It is not a new development.

Edited June 30, 2014 by Realist3

[Realist3]

I'm sorry for your pain .

I doNOT think you're done, I can tell that you have not reached that point where you are filled with a feeling of utter disgust and disappointment with your own decisions and violating your own basic morals . THEN, you're done! You just feel it in your heart and then you will stop at all costs .

 

I guarantee you two will start back up after a while . You guys live close to each other , you haven't blocked her, she's already trying to get back in touch , your daughter will go to her camp... Disaster awaits!

 

An oh, don't fool yourself . Her husband knows . You two just think that he doesn't know .

 

And also, you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors between husband and wife . Even if you know him personally and have knowledge if his affair etc, please donot let that make your own affair any better in your mind .

 

I know how you feel . I've been there, in and out the A cycle till you break it one day and then stick to it . It is extremely hard and very rewarding eventually when you know you're finally leading an honest life , no deceit , no lying yo yourself, holding your head up high .

 

If you really mean to end it, maybe talk to your wife, recommit to her, tell her the A is over , ad maybe move? Move away from her, have your wife pick and drop your daughter from the camp .

 

I really do wish you the best . I donot see it ending without a very conscious effort on your end to END it . Best .

 

1st bold. If he knew he would not play it cool with her. He is a jealous/control freak. If he knew something was up he would have taken her phone right that second. We live in a no fault state. He only needs to convince himself. He has done nothing. We haven't talked in three days, but she would have let me know if it was blowing up for her.

 

2nd bold. I'm not sure what that means. I have no interest in knowing what goes on behind closed doors over there. The A was what it was, it was not predicated on what was going on at home from my point of view. In fact it was rarely discussed, I mean like maybe once or twice a year.

[Realist3]

That is such a...not even sure of the right word...strange? interesting? statement in light of everything that's happened.

 

Mr. Lucky

 

It means if we didn't have kids we would have left a long time ago. All of this effort was not so much to keep from offending a spouse, but blowing up family units.

[Realist3]

Myself I will not knowingly be with any woman that has a husband or is in a relationship. To me that is just wrong to do to someone else. Truthfully I don't see how I would be able to trust a woman that is already cheating on her husband anyway. There is no way that I could have any respect for someone like this.

 

I would like to ask you is this money truly hers? Did she go out and earn this money and her BH took it from her? Or are you stating that it is hers simply because she is married to him? The truth is that women cheat all the time and they will often clean out their BH's putting their finances in ruin and threats of jail if they are unable to pay alimony. So if her BH is hiding his assets from her, he is doing a wise thing. Truthfully the wiser thing would have been to never marry her at all. Now do not get me wrong, I am not saying that her BH was okay to cheat in the past. However in my book she has no right to anything that he has earned himself. This whole thing about cleaning out another persons assets and collecting alimony should be abolished. Alimony is slavery plain and simple.

 

Aside for cheRealist3 you are of no better character than your AP or her BH in my book.ating on your wife you are also co-signing another woman to cheat on her husband. To top this off your justifying her actions by stating that she cannot divorce because she cannot clean out her BH. I am going to be blunt with you. You are the kind of guy that ruins it for all the other men that actually show good character. You are the reason they have these slavery laws that are thinly disguised as alimony. If you want my advice you would drop this other woman and work on yourself. If you think that your AP deserves the money that her BH earned then what about you? Why don't you give your BW a divorce and give her all of your assets? Heck if you think your AP deserves her BH's money then does your BW not deserve all of yours?

 

Do yourself a favor and stop the lying and be honest with yourself and others. Stop trying to justify your actions that are destroying other peoples lives. As much as I try to defend and help BH's on here and point out how family courts screw over men, you come along and give everyone else ammo for continuing to do this. What you have been doing is not cool or fun and damn sure does not make you a man. So why don't you decide to become honest with yourself and others, dump the AP and take responsibility for your actions? Now if you do this I will speak to the others and we will decide if we should give you back your Man Card. Until then consider your Man Card to be revoked.

 

 

1st bold. When they married 20 years ago they were both working stiffs, i.e. working poor. They saved up a few bucks and he started a business a few years later. That business boomed. The boom from that initial business led to creating several other businesses, which have also done exceedingly well. She owns half of everything that has been made during their marriage, by law, regardless of cheating or not. Just like he does even though he cheated. When he started cheating to hide the money he was spending on his AP, he founded a few other companies which were not openly tied to him, through legal maneuvers. It is a complicated scheme.

 

She suspected something was going on with the money but had no proof because he doesn't allow her access. Anyway, I found her proof. Before I was around they were best friends with his attorney and wife, who were doing some of this for him(hiding assets). When the attorney friend and his wife divorced, the personal and professional relationship went down the tubes. His attorney really couldn't stand him, but he was making a boat load of money off of him... The attorney in question and I have been acquaintances for a long time, but never close friends. Over the past couple of years we developed a close friendship. One day we were having coffee at our shop, and the subject of MW came up. And he said, "I can't believe she is still married to him..., but I guess I do(for the kids). Then I told him about our A, and then he spilled the beans about the asset hiding he had done for her husband, and just how large it was. All of it illegal.

 

You can't hide assets from your spouse and it is not in anyway a wise move.

 

I don't care to discuss your views on alimony because that doesn't really pertain to the topic. These businesses are making so much money she wouldn't need alimony with 50% ownership.

 

Aside for cheRealist3 you are of no better character than your AP or her BH in my book.

 

That's fine with me. I have no interest in being in your book. I'm not looking from atta boy's from you are anyone. You are free to pass any sort of moral judgment on me you so wish, but you aren't the person that has to live my life, it is me. I don't mind your responses, but if you think preaching to me about your moral compass you choose to follow and how it applies to me, and how I should follow it? You are probably going to be sadly disappointed with its impact.

[Realist3]

Do yourself a favor and stop the lying and be honest with yourself and others. Stop trying to justify your actions that are destroying other peoples lives. As much as I try to defend and help BH's on here and point out how family courts screw over men, you come along and give everyone else ammo for continuing to do this. What you have been doing is not cool or fun and damn sure does not make you a man. So why don't you decide to become honest with yourself and others, dump the AP and take responsibility for your actions?

 

You should really do some honest research and learn how study after study show it is actually women that get the short end of the stick in divorce court, especially stay at home mom's. Alimony isn't forever, and neither are kids that stay below the age of 18.

 

The most generous states allow for about 20% of gross for 7-10 years from a 20 year marriage depending on certain factors. So a woman who is in a $100,000 a year income household now after the divorce is living large on $20,000 a year, with no job experience. That is quite a change in lifestyle.

[Sub]

...living large on $20,000 a year, with no job experience. That is quite a change in lifestyle.

 

Maybe my sarcasm detector is on the fritz, but I'd love to know what state you live in, if $20,000 a year with no job experience is living large.

[cozycottagelg]

You should really do some honest research and learn how study after study show it is actually women that get the short end of the stick in divorce court, especially stay at home mom's. Alimony isn't forever, and neither are kids that stay below the age of 18.

 

The most generous states allow for about 20% of gross for 7-10 years from a 20 year marriage depending on certain factors. So a woman who is in a $100,000 a year income household now after the divorce is living large on $20,000 a year, with no job experience. That is quite a change in lifestyle.

 

I have to keep re-writing my post because I'm in a mood and coming off as very insensitive.

 

I think that forking over $20,000 a YEAR to someone that cheated on me would come as a slap in the face...

[Sub]

Disregard my last post. I misread something.

[Owl]

There is no evidence to collect, and I'm not going to give him any. He saw one message that said nothing personal. As I mentioned previously if he had seen the message just prior or after the one he did see we would be talking a whole different ballgame here. It would have been a slam dunk. Secondly, she is very vigilant in how she has conducted this, as I don't have to hide anything. If she didn't think she was in the clear she would not have spent roughly 9 hours out of the next 24 talking to me. He doesn't have anything at this point. That is why I think it is best just to end it while there is nothing.

 

I can't predict the future of what might or might not happen between us, but right now I am holding firm in my decision.

 

 

 

That is illegal in this state, and he has been doing it since before I was on the scene. It is not a new development.

 

Is the cellphone that all of this centered around solely on her own personal account, one that he does not have any interaction with?

 

If not...he can contact the cell provider and request a detailed history outlining all of of the texts and call history.

 

If you were using a 3rd party website or something to communicate through to avoid that possibility...say sending IM's via a forum, for example, if he had any sense he noted her username at least...and could potentially use that information to track down more on what the two of you were doing together.

 

A determined, intelligent person can learn a LOT when they put their mind to it.

 

When d-day hit in my case...all I had was OM's IM username in an IM application, and his username in the game we'd all played together on. I sat down for some serious intel gathering...two hours later, I got up from the computer and phone with pages of notes. I had his full name, his address, where he worked, his home phone number, his work number, and a description of his vehicle, with tag. A little social engineering got me a lot about his work history. It also clued me in on his previous marriage/divorce, and his custody arrangements.

 

Your MW's H doesn't have to be that smart...he's just got to be determined, and hire someone that smart.

 

You need to give some serious consideration to what you're going to do if he does gain that info.

[Realist3]

I have to keep re-writing my post because I'm in a mood and coming off as very insensitive.

 

I think that forking over $20,000 a YEAR to someone that cheated on me would come as a slap in the face...

 

In the larger scheme of things it is pretty cheap. Secondly, the stay at home wife has given up her earning potential in the market for raising your kids. Do you really want to have your kids living in poverty? Lastly, your standard of living, despite paying the 20%, will have improved.

[Sub]

A determined, intelligent person can learn a LOT when they put their mind to it.

 

Especially one described as "very controlling". If the BH in this case is that overbearing, I can't see him just letting it go after going on this initial fishing expedition. And since he is in the middle of his own A, I'd guess he knows all the tricks being employed by the W.

[Realist3]

Maybe my sarcasm detector is on the fritz, but I'd love to know what state you live in, if $20,000 a year with no job experience is living large.

 

 

Yes, it was totally sarcastic. She is taking a huge hit.

[Clay]

I can understand wanting to be loved and being with someone special but I can't really understand how you are ok with betraying your family. I get that you don't care about the your OW's H. That will be on her when she gets caught or things just go to hell in there relationship. What about your kids. Why cant you just leave your wife and still be a good father to them. Why put them at risk. It honestly doesn't sound like you really care about anyone. I don't mean that in a mean way but I have gone back and keep reading your post all I see is its all about you and what you want. Do you really want to teach that to your kids? You don't think they wont pick up that kind of a attitude from you and learn to do it as well?

 

I really just don't get it why people stay married and and they are sleeping with other people. Why not just be a better person and show your kids your a better person. Show them you can survive and live a healthy with them in it.

 

I booted my cheating xW out. I kept my kids. They are much happier not being around her. She never bettered herself as a person. They are older now and they all see it. She is there example of who they don't want to be like. Personally I would hate it if my kids felt that way about me.

 

Clay

[Realist3]

Is the cellphone that all of this centered around solely on her own personal account, one that he does not have any interaction with?

 

 

 

If not...he can contact the cell provider and request a detailed history outlining all of of the texts and call history.

 

No, it is his account. We do not text or call each other on her official number. We used to have a cheater phone, but we got rid of that after finding an easier alternative.

 

If you were using a 3rd party website or something to communicate through to avoid that possibility...say sending IM's via a forum, for example, if he had any sense he noted her username at least...and could potentially use that information to track down more on what the two of you were doing together.

 

It is all deleted. She deletes everything the minute she reads it. He doesn't have the password. There is nothing to track down because it doesn't exist. It exists on mine, but...

 

A determined, intelligent person can learn a LOT when they put their mind to it.

 

When d-day hit in my case...all I had was OM's IM username in an IM application, and his username in the game we'd all played together on. I sat down for some serious intel gathering...two hours later, I got up from the computer and phone with pages of notes. I had his full name, his address, where he worked, his home phone number, his work number, and a description of his vehicle, with tag. A little social engineering got me a lot about his work history. It also clued me in on his previous marriage/divorce, and his custody arrangements.

 

Your MW's H doesn't have to be that smart...he's just got to be determined, and hire someone that smart.

 

It had my name on it. He knows I sent the message. In this same deal we have two different accounts for each of us. We both have access to both and I can't retrieve anything from her end. Meaning I can login as her, and I can't get anything.

 

You need to give some serious consideration to what you're going to do if he does gain that info.

 

I don't have to do anything. It is not me that I am worried about, it is her. My wife knows about this already.

[Realist3]

This app allows you to text or call, and once it is deleted it is gone. There is no call or text history.