I think this time it really is over.

[Realist3]

There is nothing left on her computer or phone of any communications between us. We have not seen each other since the last day of school which was the 6th of June. We didn't see each other privately since two weeks previous to that. There was no trace of that meeting and there is no trace of our discussion Friday on the 4th. There is nothing to find. The only way there is something to find is if I put something out there, and I'm not doing that.

[Realist3]

We had planned a nice week for this coming week because both of our spouses were out of the state/country, but that isn't gonna happen now.

[2sunny]

There is nothing left on her computer or phone of any communications between us. We have not seen each other since the last day of school which was the 6th of June. We didn't see each other privately since two weeks previous to that. There was no trace of that meeting and there is no trace of our discussion Friday on the 4th. There is nothing to find. The only way there is something to find is if I put something out there, and I'm not doing that.

 

Then the ONLY way to never have HER caught is to never communicate with her again.

 

Leave it be - you've both just skimmed by and are lucky she isn't experiencing a DDay - I hope she has half a brain - enough to understand that anything further is very risky.

 

If she does start up again - she's an idiot.

[2sunny]

We had planned a nice week for this coming week because both of our spouses were out of the state/country, but that isn't gonna happen now.

 

I'd bet money you do get together with her.

 

I hope you won't! It's just too risky... If I were her husband I'd be paying someone to trail EVERY move she makes while I was away. I bet he will.

[Realist3]

You're never going to emotionally detach from her while you're still texting, seeing her at cheer camp, trainer session, the kids school etc. Plus if/when her H finds out, you'll probably be forced into absolute NC.

 

After all this effort & drama to be together, now's your perfect opportunity to do it for real! But in the end, your story is not as different as you've proclaimed. You're a MM and you love her but not enough to leave.

 

Are you prepared to really rebuild your life without her in it?

 

I understand what you are saying, and I'm not dismissing it.

 

Summer has always been a disengagement for us. Too much stuff going on with the family. This coming week will be the first time we have seen each other other than briefly over these couple of months during the summer. As I said before this broke we had planned to do some stuff. Her husband will be in Europe, and my wife will be with my daughter in Minn. for two weeks. It will be a test of my resolve, no doubt. We are not messaging as of this posting.

Edited July 6, 2014 by Realist3

[Realist3]

I'd bet money you do get together with her.

 

I hope you won't! It's just too risky... If I were her husband I'd be paying someone to trail EVERY move she makes while I was away. I bet he will.

 

We will see. I won't deny that seeing each other always sparks something.

 

He very well might.

 

In an odd way you are provoking me, because I know I can beat whatever he attempts. Right now though, I'm not going down that road.

[2sunny]

We will see. I won't deny that seeing each other always sparks something.

 

He very well might.

 

In an odd way you are provoking me, because I know I can beat whatever he attempts. Right now though, I'm not going down that road.

 

The fact that you think you can beat him at this game shows that you will get her caught.

 

 

Something new is around in our area lately... Hardly even noticeable to most folks walking around through town...drones. They can film and capture stuff that even a PI can't pick up.

 

Just saying, the ones who are certain they can outsmart others always get caught eventually.

 

Technology is moving faster than you. Don't get too cocky.

[Minnie09]

I doubt it.

 

After all I've read, you really seem to be addicted to her. Or to the drama or whatever. You're so used to sneaking around, it would be a miracle if you'd actually refrain from contacing her, or refrain from responding, if she should happen to contact you, while her H is away.

 

I mean, I don't blame you. You've been doing it for a few years, and you know how to get away with it. Apparently, her H isnt't as smart as he thinks he is, or else he would have already caught her red-handed. He's been trying for so long, unsuccessfully. I am sure you'll find a way to meet up if the spouses are out of town, without any evidence.

 

Question for you: What's the reson WHY you are all of a sudden so adamant about breking up with her? I know, a few reasons have been given throughout the thread, but what's your real issue with the affair at this point? Just curious.

[Realist3]

Her biggest problem is she doesn't blend into a crowd, she stands out, so she is an easy mark.

 

Just playing devil's advocate, we have always assumed she was being followed. After the first two PI's that has been a running assumption.

 

Our favorite place... is so secure. It would be impossible for you not to notice someone was following you. The elevator bank from the garage has two choices, either the public or the private.

[Realist3]

The fact that you think you can beat him at this game shows that you will get her caught.

 

 

Something new is around in our area lately... Hardly even noticeable to most folks walking around through town...drones. They can film and capture stuff that even a PI can't pick up.

 

Just saying, the ones who are certain they can outsmart others always get caught eventually.

 

Technology is moving faster than you. Don't get too cocky.

 

I have been beating him for a long long time. Years. I know the methods of the PI, and those have been taken well into account. The only difference would be that he has my name, and they would have my cars.

 

I'm not planning on doing anything at all, I'm just saying it could be done.

[txgrl]

Oh my .. The drama !!

Why doesn't she blend into a crowd ? different ethnicity?

 

I'm stressed out just reading about your double life. How do you live it?

[whichwayisup]

Not sure if you touched on this, you said your wife and MW both know you post here, so you do think MW reads your threads?

[Realist3]

Oh my .. The drama !!

Why doesn't she blend into a crowd ? different ethnicity?

 

I'm stressed out just reading about your double life. How do you live it?

 

 

Same ethnicity. Her looks. She is noticed.

 

It is really not the stressful. It is just being careful. After you have done it for a long time it really is nothing.

 

I'll boil it down for you. I have access to her phone and laptop. Our communications whether message or phone does not keep a history. When we did communicate she had a simple switch to turn her H's keylogger on or off, unknown to him. No biggie. When we met up they were in places with numerous entrances and exits. Neither of us entered or exited though the same entrance. After you have done that twice, it is a no brainer. No drama. Within a 3-4 mile radius were lucky to have several options that fit that bill.

[2sunny]

Not sure if you touched on this, you said your wife and MW both know you post here, so you do think MW reads your threads?

 

He answered this a few posts back. I asked if this forum allowed her to see how his OW to see what he feels/thinks... He said no, she doesn't look at it.

 

But I'm thinking she probably does see what he posts = ego feed.

[BrokenPrincess]

I agree with the others that have said you are not done yet. Aside from the satisfaction you get from your time with MOW, you appear to also get a significant boost by devising all these strategies to keep winning and to stay a step ahead of her H catching you. Is he a personal or professional adversary of yours?

 

Or is it just general KISA and a competitive nature driving you?

[Owl]

So far his actions aren't showing that. Seriously, he really doesn't have much of anything to reach that conclusion. Like I said before, I'm, not going to give him anything. if he has reached that position as you claim he sure hasn't shown that he has.

 

My actions didn't either, when my hackles got raised.

 

OM was a 'friend' of mine of sorts via online gaming as well. Even after I'd taken action to start gathering intel on what was going on between them, I was very, very careful not to give myself away.

 

I saw evidence in their IM sessions that they were confused as to whether or not I suspected anything.

 

Right up until I emailed my wife a copy of their discussion, so that there could no longer be any denial about what was going on.

 

Given what you've described...I can't imagine any other reason he would have apologized the way he did, and removed the keylogger. Either he got the info he was after...or he's going about it a different way.

[Owl]

We will see. I won't deny that seeing each other always sparks something.

 

He very well might.

 

In an odd way you are provoking me, because I know I can beat whatever he attempts. Right now though, I'm not going down that road.

 

Wife's OM was an IT professional. He walked her through a huge number of steps to keep her computer clean.

 

He was pretty damned thorough, I'll give him that. And he...like you...was convinced that there was no way that I could find anything.

 

He had no idea.

 

He knew me as an affable, intelligent guy...nerd...so he took the precautions he needed. But he didn't know anything about what I used to do for a living.

 

If her H hires someone with a similar skillset...I honestly doubt that it would take him that long to find your posts here, and all kinds of other things that each by themselves may not be 'proof'...but added up most certainly are.

[Owl]

Same ethnicity. Her looks. She is noticed.

 

It is really not the stressful. It is just being careful. After you have done it for a long time it really is nothing.

 

I'll boil it down for you. I have access to her phone and laptop. Our communications whether message or phone does not keep a history. When we did communicate she had a simple switch to turn her H's keylogger on or off, unknown to him. No biggie. When we met up they were in places with numerous entrances and exits. Neither of us entered or exited though the same entrance. After you have done that twice, it is a no brainer. No drama. Within a 3-4 mile radius were lucky to have several options that fit that bill.

 

Right...and for every counter-measure, there is a counter-counter-measure.

 

In this case...esp given that he's well off, he could easily afford to do this, and it would be a simple thing to have someone do.

 

Setup a computer in his own home that acts as a packet sniffer off of the router/modem.

 

Setup port mirroring on the router, have everything mirrored over to the sniffer, and run constant captures. ANYTHING going in/out would be caught and able to be re-constructed.

 

Granted...it would only work if she used her home network to communicate with you. In fact...it should also detect your remote access into her computer.

 

When I realized OM was having my wife clean her computer, I considered this, but found another route to go instead that was less work for me.

[William]

It appears members won't let go of assertions that 'it's over' so those who weren't suspended please be reminded that your demeanor on our forums is subject to our rules on such matters and there is increasingly little ground for tolerance of abusive posters. Thread closed.