I feel out of place with the real world

[Bishop556]

Please note that I am not suicidal by any means, I am just having an existential moment currently. I just don't feel I fit in this place, this world, this reality that we all exist in and live through our mundane lives. It really tires me to no end to go through a daily life. I look at others and see that most are content with their state of being, like they fit and are able to coexist with the world we live in. I feel out of place, constantly trying to a purpose for living besides just existing and surviving, which I feel many people do. We live our daily lives: we eat, breathe, ****, and then what else is there? The majority of people seem to be completely content doing so, it fits all in place like a jigsaw puzzle. Most people fit the pieces that the world has placed for them without thinking twice. Is that really what life is? Is that real happiness to base it all on physical pleasures and go through the motion that life presented us?

 

When I listen to a beautiful song, I am transported to somewhere else, somewhere I feel is more pure. I feel the same after looking at a beautiful piece of art, studying very beautiful theories in physics, even looking at a tree and noticing how the light reflects on the leaves showcasing every minute detail while the wind ruffles through the branches. I don't know why I find it beautiful, but I do. I feel so emotional after these experiences, it truly makes me feel something I usually do not receive from the daily, mundane routine of living. Strangely enough, I feel like Neo in the Matrix, trying to understand why the world he exists in does not feel real, as if the dream like nature of these emotional moments are more real than the real world. It has made me realize that the only true things that matter is the human connection, whether you wish to interpret that as spiritual. We make connections to people and things that generate emotion through every fiber of our soul, whether that is listening to a song that causes you to be on the verge of tears or holding your lover and telling her that you love her, looking into her eyes knowing that she feels the same without her even having to mouth a word. It brings you to a better place than the one that we mostly have to exist in.

 

I just don't understand how people can content the daily mundane nature of modern society, with a lack of human connection and emotion. I guess I just feel I have been locked into the mundane cycle in my life. I feel like I am just becoming cattle for societies' ranch. I just feel I am losing myself, I feel out of place with few people truly understanding what that is like. Most people just seem like they are free floating without giving their lives a second thought, and it terrifies me as I could easily become that.

[Tressugar]

I believe you have reached the higher consciousness. You see the world through your 'third eye'. Very few people are able to witness what's beyond the veil.

[learning_slowly]

Alas, I think more people than you realise see this. However, we are not in a position to influence change with any speed.

 

For instance, alot of the worlds problems could be solved by population control. However what government wants to introduce it?

[Eternal Sunshine]

Please note that I am not suicidal by any means, I am just having an existential moment currently. I just don't feel I fit in this place, this world, this reality that we all exist in and live through our mundane lives. It really tires me to no end to go through a daily life. I look at others and see that most are content with their state of being, like they fit and are able to coexist with the world we live in. I feel out of place, constantly trying to a purpose for living besides just existing and surviving, which I feel many people do. We live our daily lives: we eat, breathe, ****, and then what else is there? The majority of people seem to be completely content doing so, it fits all in place like a jigsaw puzzle. Most people fit the pieces that the world has placed for them without thinking twice. Is that really what life is? Is that real happiness to base it all on physical pleasures and go through the motion that life presented us?

 

When I listen to a beautiful song, I am transported to somewhere else, somewhere I feel is more pure. I feel the same after looking at a beautiful piece of art, studying very beautiful theories in physics, even looking at a tree and noticing how the light reflects on the leaves showcasing every minute detail while the wind ruffles through the branches. I don't know why I find it beautiful, but I do. I feel so emotional after these experiences, it truly makes me feel something I usually do not receive from the daily, mundane routine of living. Strangely enough, I feel like Neo in the Matrix, trying to understand why the world he exists in does not feel real, as if the dream like nature of these emotional moments are more real than the real world. It has made me realize that the only true things that matter is the human connection, whether you wish to interpret that as spiritual. We make connections to people and things that generate emotion through every fiber of our soul, whether that is listening to a song that causes you to be on the verge of tears or holding your lover and telling her that you love her, looking into her eyes knowing that she feels the same without her even having to mouth a word. It brings you to a better place than the one that we mostly have to exist in.

 

I just don't understand how people can content the daily mundane nature of modern society, with a lack of human connection and emotion. I guess I just feel I have been locked into the mundane cycle in my life. I feel like I am just becoming cattle for societies' ranch. I just feel I am losing myself, I feel out of place with few people truly understanding what that is like. Most people just seem like they are free floating without giving their lives a second thought, and it terrifies me as I could easily become that.

 

I feel exactly the same way. Only you said it better.

[nerd]

I suspect everyone feels this way, and we are not special

[SJS]

I believe you have reached the higher consciousness. You see the world through your 'third eye'. Very few people are able to witness what's beyond the veil.

 

It's interesting you say this. I have wondered if it was actually depression...

[Bishop556]

It's interesting you say this. I have wondered if it was actually depression...

 

I'll admit it that I have always had problems with depression, but I don't believe feeling isolated and out of place with the world is caused completely by depression. I think that is a very simplistic reason to suggest why someone feels out of place. Why do you feel it is depression?

[Grumpybutfun]

Bishop, are you a spiritual person? Look into Zen and Buddhism with a slant on interconnectedness, acceptance and being present. It sounds as though you are unbalanced spiritually and need a metaphysical sense of connection.

Namaste,

Grumps

[Bishop556]

Bishop, are you a spiritual person? Look into Zen and Buddhism with a slant on interconnectedness, acceptance and being present. It sounds as though you are unbalanced spiritually and need a metaphysical sense of connection.

Namaste,

Grumps

 

 

I'd like to consider myself a spiritual person. I'll check it out. I just am looking for more meaning to life. I can't imagine living a life without meaning and purpose.

[Bishop556]

Bishop, are you a spiritual person? Look into Zen and Buddhism with a slant on interconnectedness, acceptance and being present. It sounds as though you are unbalanced spiritually and need a metaphysical sense of connection.

Namaste,

Grumps

 

The issue I have is that I can be social and I am very good at that. I come off friendly and light-hearted when I'm with people. It just feels draining doing so after a while. For example, I have a group of friends in my physics classes that I usually hang out with. Sure, it is enjoyable hanging out with them, but everyday it is the same routine and I grow tiresome of that. There is no substance to what we talk about, it just is the daily jokes and small talk, and I just feel I need more than that. I'm not saying it isn't enjoyable to be light-hearted and social, it really is enjoyable, but I just need more than that. It feels like I'm in alienated sometimes as having intense and thought provoking conversations can seem threatening to some people.

[todreaminblue]

hey,I often feel like you do ......

 

 

 

 

i crave connection.......acceptance as grumps said ...i have to connect even when i dont really feel like connecting or another personality steps in...........to stay here and not go elsewhere i brush things, people ill reach out..... i touch things i smell things and jolt myself back....I can get lost looking at a streetlight or a homeless person.. i often feel misplaced mainly due to people who i actually crave connection with adn a desire to puzzle people out.......somewhere i shouldn't be without the why shouldnt i be here answered.....i am empathic or part of me is......sometimes i cant face the people i wish to connect with most...

 

 

I pray..... i meditate in prayer......i meditate with out prayer to get stillness to my thoughts and rely on my heart to guide me......with people and places and things i should do ......

 

 

 

i know that fasting brings a clarity with speed and a sense of peace to thought patterns btu i have to watch it because i forgot when i have last eaten and have bordered on my body going into starvation mode which in turn makes me overweight because my body hangs on to everything it has ready for when i starve it.......

 

 

but controlled fasting on a regular basis helps with clarity....it is a faith borne principle that is part of my faith and when i studied buddism adn other getnle faiths of compassion and understanding ...fasting meditation adn prayer are synonymous with enlightenment and a higher prupose for being.....

 

 

 

and i have always fasted sometimes out of necessity since young teenage years....during these trials of fasting....i have found clarity direction and resolution......even though i was hungry ...it was never always hungry and the benefit far outweighed the denial of food and or water for a while....i have gone without both food and water..

 

 

 

the denial of simple practices can bring enlightenment when all you really have is those mundane simple practices in your life.....also a form of control when you want resolution where there is none to be had......you control.....you see you seek you find you succeed ...........deb

[Bishop556]

The issue I have is that I can be social and I am very good at that. I come off friendly and light-hearted when I'm with people. It just feels draining doing so after a while. For example, I have a group of friends in my physics classes that I usually hang out with. Sure, it is enjoyable hanging out with them, but everyday it is the same routine and I grow tiresome of that. There is no substance to what we talk about, it just is the daily jokes and small talk, and I just feel I need more than that. I'm not saying it isn't enjoyable to be light-hearted and social, it really is enjoyable, but I just need more than that. It feels like I'm in alienated sometimes as having intense and thought provoking conversations can seem threatening to some people.

 

What I meant to say was that this is one issue I have. Many others compound to form the basis of how I feel. It feels sometimes like I am some defect on the assembly line of socially acceptable molds. That sounded more depressing than I even thought. I just feel different compared to others since I was a kid. Even despite this, I have had many wonderful happy moments in my life. I just posted this thread not as a cry for my depression, but more of an understanding of this kind of alienation.

Edited June 30, 2014 by Bishop556

[todreaminblue]

What I meant to say was that this is one issue I have. Many others compound to form the basis of how I feel. It feels sometimes like I am some defect on the assembly line of socially acceptable molds. That sounded more depressing than I even thought. I just feel different compared to others since I was a kid. Even despite this, I have had many wonderful happy moments in my life. I just posted this thread not as a cry for my depression, but more of an understanding of this kind of alienation.

 

 

if there wasnt extra terrestrial we wouldnt have terrestrial now would we....smilin.....and et is cool.......alien is cool......alienation serves a purpose...i am myself considering isolation soon for i am just drained ...tired not depressed just tired of not impacting change.......i have been pushing myself.......and i am failing now, my body is asking for solitude...bit of respite a chance to let a few people go....so i can move forward.,.......

 

 

 

for everything there is rhyme and reason

even if we don't know the rhyme

or if we dont understand the reason

for all things bright and dull there is always a season

 

theres a time to dance a time for everything

 

and there is a time for knowing

 

 

its what you do with that knowing that is what counts.......cheers bishop........deb

[Potz4prez]

It's interesting you say this. I have wondered if it was actually depression...

 

It's actually depression... with comorbid anxiety most likely. Google depersonalization.

 

I went through this **** way back when... it's no way to live life.

[Grumpybutfun]

Actually, being present places your focus off yourself and onto being a part of something greater so you want to be involved in bettering the world...volunteering, being helpful, and spending more time in nature. Interconnectedness makes you see you aren't alone because you are a part of something greater. Acceptance makes you stop trying to force things that aren't organic and accepting the things in life that are more natural to your journey.

Also, I understand your need for enlightened conversation which is why I enjoy Philosophy, Science, Anthropology, History and Religion as study. If you are on a campus, find meetup groups. You will meet others who are searching and seeking. Zen and Buddhism are just one area where you will find internal guidance.

You think it is a social desire but it is really a deep desire for enlightenment. Other people can never fulfill you. You have to find the thing within yourself that feels accepted in those situations and promote that while also understanding that others are struggling in their own ways to find interconnectedness. I remember the feeling you speak of, and it was profound, always feeling different than everyone else, especially as I was/am a jock and certain things were expected of me. Instead of trying to fill that space with social expectations, I filled them with knowledge and then I started too see my purpose which had to do with service and kindness. Your purpose may be very different in life so it is your search to find it.

By no means is this something you should ignore. Look up Eckhart Tolle, he has some fine books on the subject.

Finally, this is the advice I would have given a young Grumpy, stop taking yourself and the world so damn seriously. Life is a beautiful balance of the profound and the ridiculous and each have their time.

In support,

Grumps

[SJS]

I'll admit it that I have always had problems with depression, but I don't believe feeling isolated and out of place with the world is caused completely by depression. I think that is a very simplistic reason to suggest why someone feels out of place. Why do you feel it is depression?

I have had very similar thoughts and for myself thought it might have been depression. Not saying YOU are...sorry, I should've been more clear. And I think the opposite--being depressed already would make one feel out of place. I believe that's actually one of the symptoms, never feeling like you fit in.

 

 

Potz may be on to something. I saw a therapist a while back who said I had "depressive tendencies with mixed anxiety and adjustment disorder".

[Bishop556]

I think I understand why I felt out of place, I didn't think I knew what it was until tonight after walking back from a pizzaria of all places. I was thinking about physics and music, I was thinking about the special theory of relativity and I felt like I was about to burst into tears from some profound awe and beauty. I truly felt something that was very beautiful, thinking about how these physical theories apply to our universe, how even the seemingly mundane idea of gravity holding us down is so incredible. How the world we live in is based on the probability of events occurring instead of complete certainty? It's hard to base it on words, but I felt something so unbelievable. I then thought of the beauty of what we don't know: love, the mind, good and evil, the possibility of God, and so on. I suddenly felt at peace like everything fit and I witnessed something so unbelievably fantastic, I feel like crying just typing this.

 

I think what my true problem was that I felt like I was surviving, not living. I felt alive during that moment, I believe I needed to find my passions or I would feel lost with myself. My passions give me those moments of powerful emotion and it is unbelievable.