Emma1234 Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 So I have been seeing someone for 9 months now but he has just received a job offer in another country. He has not been able to commit these last few months due to getting over someone else and said that if he didn't get the job he wanted to try (the distance if staying in this country being only 2.5 hours for just under a year) and take things slow. However, he did get the job, I am so happy for him and proud, but I'm not sure what to do. I adore this man, everything about him, he has expressed them same feelings for me more often that I have (except because of his situation he hasn't been able to prove this by committing). He said he can't decide what to do, whether to start a relationship or not. I of course want to try. I am devastated by the fact that this is not anything in my control again, it has always been on his control (whether to start a relationship or not). I need to know what to do, whether to walk away now without the pain of rejection or the pain of a relationship that may not work. Or do I wait for him to decide, or do I simply say lets stay friends so that I can be there for him? Thank you for any response. Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Some wise guy in LS once said that if a guy likes a girl, he won't let her stay in the singles market for long. Don't settle for less. If the guy has not expressed his interest to commit to you because he wants to, waiting it out 1 week, 1 year or heck a lifetime won't make a difference. Find someone who loves you and will commit to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 You don't have any say in whether he takes the job. If he's on the fence about the relationship when it's easy & you are right there, I doubt you will be able to talk him into the more difficult LDR. Although, that may be a low pressure way for you two to get to know each other. All you can do is make it clear to him that you are willing to try but the choice has to be his. If he says no thank you assume that he's just not wired for distance; some people aren't. He may want a clean break from the place with the memories of his EX. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 You've already invested 9 months in someone who doesn't want to commit to you. Don't waste more time. If he really wanted to keep you, you'd already have your commitment. A LDR is only going to add more stress to the situation; I don't see this one working out, OP. I know you really feel deeply for him, but evidently he doesn't feel the same way. 9 months is plenty of time to know whether or not you want to begin a relationship. I'd start dating other guys and find someone who isn't wishy-washy about you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 Leave him. A guy that truly cares about you will be thrilled to commit. Everything else is BS. Life is too short for this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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