my self improvement journey

[tuxedo cat]

There are some things I want to work on about myself and this will be a chart of my very simple and gradual daily progress.

 

Areas for improvement:

 

Stop dwelling on the past as a way of distracting myself from things I can control in the present.

 

Feel comfortable in my own skin around other people.

 

Tackle problems that scare me:

-creative work

-socializing/network

-meeting men

 

Right now I'm going to start by just accomplishing four simple things every day. This may change at some point in the future but for now it's enough.

 

1) write

 

2) go to one social event

 

3) look for a job/work on resume

 

4) look for a new place to live (my current arrangement isn't great)

 

Will report back at the end of this first day!

[scooby-philly]

Keep us posted.

 

I am a firm believer that it's the little things that make us who we are, and that change only happens by little advances and by little choices we make. Avalanches start with a single pile of snow rolling.

 

Again, keep us in the loop.

[tuxedo cat]

I haven't been keeping up with the writing/socializing but I have been very productive.

 

-I applied to a few cafe jobs and already have some interviews lined up for later this week

-I bought a summer interview outfit

-I made a long excel sheet of every local company in my field and called half of them up yesterday. Only a few are hiring so far.

-I revised my cover letter

-I applied to two companies (haven't heard back but it's a start!)

 

Now I just need to squeeze in the daily writing and socializing!

 

Tomorrow's To Do:

 

morning:

 

prepare for interviews

call remaining companies on list

send out a few resumes/cover letters

 

afternoon:

 

-get hair done for first time in six months (eek!)

-1 hour of writing/reading

 

evening:

 

-get refresher two hour training in prep for cafe interviews

-I'm going to count my training as the social activity

 

before sleep:

 

prepare for interviews

 

I think that's enough.

[Michelle ma Belle]

How refreshing to see a post where someone is actually making positive changes in their lives and bettering themselves. Wonderful

 

As someone who considers herself to be a continuing work in progress, it's worth it!

 

Just remember that the road isn't always straight or easy and that obstacles will continually block your way. The key is to learn how to get around them and still get to where you need to get. Keep your eyes forever forward and remember that even baby steps end up being big steps in the right direction.

 

Congratulations and good luck!!!!!

[tuxedo cat]

How refreshing to see a post where someone is actually making positive changes in their lives and bettering themselves. Wonderful

 

As someone who considers herself to be a continuing work in progress, it's worth it!

 

Just remember that the road isn't always straight or easy and that obstacles will continually block your way. The key is to learn how to get around them and still get to where you need to get. Keep your eyes forever forward and remember that even baby steps end up being big steps in the right direction.

 

Congratulations and good luck!!!!!

 

Thanks for the encouragement!

[hasaquestion]

I haven't been keeping up with the writing/socializing but I have been very productive.

 

-I applied to a few cafe jobs and already have some interviews lined up for later this week

-I bought a summer interview outfit

-I made a long excel sheet of every local company in my field and called half of them up yesterday. Only a few are hiring so far.

-I revised my cover letter

-I applied to two companies (haven't heard back but it's a start!)

 

Now I just need to squeeze in the daily writing and socializing!

 

Tomorrow's To Do:

 

morning:

 

prepare for interviews

call remaining companies on list

send out a few resumes/cover letters

 

afternoon:

 

-get hair done for first time in six months (eek!)

-1 hour of writing/reading

 

evening:

 

-get refresher two hour training in prep for cafe interviews

-I'm going to count my training as the social activity

 

before sleep:

 

prepare for interviews

 

I think that's enough.

 

Boss. Keep it up.

[learning_slowly]

Also, maybe chuck an hour in to have some fun?

Its good to improve, but you have to remember not to turn in to a robot, although I think most governments would prefer you to think that way

[tuxedo cat]

Okay, on Tuesday I completed the bolded tasks on my list:

 

morning:

 

prepare for interviews

call remaining companies on list

send out a few resumes/cover letters

 

afternoon:

 

-get hair done for first time in six months (eek!)

-1 hour of writing/reading

 

evening:

 

-get refresher two hour training in prep for cafe interviews

-I'm going to count my training as the social activity

 

before sleep:

 

prepare for interviews

 

I think that's enough.

 

Today....

 

I revised my cover letter yet again to a form I am finally happy with

 

Applied to a number of jobs on craigslist and other sites

 

That's it.

 

I'm doing well with the job search but I'm lagging on the writing and socializing.

 

Goals for tomorrow:

 

1) Revise resume

2) apply to 5-10 more jobs

3) call a few new organizations about openings

4) write for at least an hour

5) do one social thing even it's just getting out of the house and going to a cafe

6) prepare for interviews

Edited July 3, 2014 by tuxedo cat

[ThaWholigan]

One tip I learned when it came to improving myself:

 

Don't give yourself way too much to do. If you don't do it all or you feel you're moving too slowly, you'll feel like you're failing then you won't be as motivated to maintain discipline.

[tuxedo cat]

I'm struggling today. I still haven't heard back from anything remotely career related. I don't get it. I have good experience and a polished cover letter.

 

I got some work done early on but some time after dark, a wave of hopelessness swept over me.

 

I'm in tears now and I don't know why.

[ThaWholigan]

I'm struggling today. I still haven't heard back from anything remotely career related. I don't get it. I have good experience and a polished cover letter.

 

I got some work done early on but some time after dark, a wave of hopelessness swept over me.

 

I'm in tears now and I don't know why.

 

Sorry to hear. Job market is like this at times, could be doing everything right but nothing comes up. You just have to persevere and try to ride out the hopeless feeling. I've been jobsearching for the longest while now, not a lot has come up for me either so I know exactly what you're going through at the moment. You've hit that point of hopelessness pretty early, you just have to keep telling yourself that it will get better. Write it down if you have to. Listen to music that makes you happy .

 

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

[scooby-philly]

Any more updates?

[tuxedo cat]

Sorry for disappearing guys. I really need to update this daily!

 

I've been doing okay. My anxiety has abated a little, at least enough for me to get some food down, so I've gained back most of that weight.

 

I'm making small progress.

 

Every day I've been consistently applying to jobs. So far my only real lead has been that I got a very part time internship at this entertainment company, helping once or twice a week. They told me it could definitely turn into paid work as an assistant if they like me. I'm trying not to get my hopes up considering how my last internship turned out, but I guess it's something. The boss already seems a lot nicer and more normal than the woman at the other place. It starts next week.

 

So far I've gotten no real jobs but I do have 5 interviews at cafes next week and one interview for a career related (more intensive) marketing internship. I'm not even positive I'd want the internship but it is something.

 

Other good things:

 

a friend and I (my only friend here) are collaborating on directing a little short video thing this week or next that he will put up on his site. His work is followed by a lot of people so it's a good way of getting my name out there.

 

I've been spending most of my energy on reworking my cover letter. Now I need to cut back the amount of time I spend job hunting each day and work on developing my portfolio.

 

Also, I need to meet people. I'm getting lonely.

 

Here's my daily plan, for now:

 

job:

-1 hour job hunting/applying

-1 hour rehearsing interviews (temp for now)

 

writing:

-3 hours writing

 

errands/cleaning/exercising:

-2 hours

 

misc (pick one each day):

-3 full hours working in some capacity on side projects

or

-2-3 hour socializing/networking (including transportation) + 1 hour of above; special exception made if social activity is longer. Can cut into errand.

or

-2-3 hours reading + 1 hour of above

 

Tomorrow will be a bit different because I'm traveling home, but here's what I aim to accomplish:

 

1) travel (I keep putting it off)

2) apply to one job

3) spend one hour writing

 

I'll report back by tomorrow night or Sun morning.

[tuxedo cat]

The not so good:

 

I'm still in sporadic contact with my ex. I can't seem to quit him and I think it's because things are not great in other areas of my life. It's been almost two years since we broke up, although we kept having short nothing flings until recently. I'm sure if I had a good job and friends here I wouldn't feel this tremendous need to stay in touch.

 

But sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment looking at the bare walls and the unopened boxes I just feel so lonely and lost and I think about him. It's a terrible feeling that goes way beyond loneliness to something more elemental, and it only gets worse the more time that passes since we last spoke.

 

I know that I have to date but I haven't felt attracted to anybody in a year. I was seeing this guy a few months ago who was nice and smart but mysteriously left me cold.

 

I'm also afraid to try.

 

I know I could probably put up a profile online but I'm wary of inviting any more rejection into my life. NY is brutal. I'm starting to think it swallows people up and changes them. Example: I've known a handful of people who have moved here and each and every one of them has, after moving, completely dropped off the radar. Yes, I reached out to all of them and none of them responded to my messages. This is in striking contrast to the behavior of everyone I've known who has moved elsewhere.

 

A few days ago I messaged a NY guy I had dated several years ago. We had parted on good terms when he moved here, we agreed to stay friends, and we've been in occasional contact since. I told him in my message that I had finally made my way to his city (he knew I had been intending to move here for awhile) and wanted to see how he was doing. Crickets.

 

NY changes people and I'm afraid to subject myself to the worst of whatever that change is through online dating.

[tuxedo cat]

Okay, having written all that, I need to think strategically. It probably would be good if I welcomed rejection and failure a little more.

 

I think I'll start by going to meet-ups and slowly easing my way into socializing. I'm going to set a goal of going to at least two meet ups or events next week.

 

Also, I want to start logging my progress by counting the number of days I've stuck with my plan. Tomorrow is day one.

 

I'm going to clarify my goals to make them more structured.

 

Three goals a day:

 

1) write

2) socialize

3) misc project

 

1) write -- 2 hours of writing each day, rain or shine.

 

2) anything social -- If I'm unable to attend an event, I need to have at least a brief conversation with somebody outside of my comfort zone. At work counts if all else fails.

 

3) This is a rolling category for my side projects. I can pick from the following three options. 2 hours:

 

-read (doesn't matter what) or watch a movie (take notes if movie)

-take photos

-work on reel

 

At least 2 hours on each category is necessary on free days but if work or some other event intervenes I need to find a way of covering each category for some amount of time (even if it's 15 minutes!)

 

The main point is I have to hit each of these three goals in some capacity, ever day, no matter what. If I fail to hit a category, I return to day 1 of progress. Only exceptions for illness or emergency.

 

Given this revision I need to modify by plan for tomorrow:

 

1) write

2) socialize (will probably be with my extended family)

3) work on reel

 

Wish me luck!!

[Eternal Sunshine]

You are doing so well after what you went through. You are trying and don't be too hard on yourself if you don't accomplish all these things.

 

It kind of sucks that you have to start as an assistant and move up from there. Being an assistant seems to be mostly about organization and being detail oriented. I think you will do much better once you get past this step. You are one of the most talented people I know. Don't give up.

[tuxedo cat]

Okay, I think I need to get more realistic. I'll probably be tweaking my plan a bit until I find one that works for me.

 

I've accomplished some of my daily tasks but I've decided after this weekend that I need to revise them a bit. The most difficult one is finding a way of being social every day with people I don't know well. It's easy when I can go to an event but some days I'm unable to make it because of my schedule. I think it would be more realistic to be social 3 times a week.

 

Also, even just getting myself to events is proving difficult. There's a shyness meetup group I want to attend but I still haven't had the courage to get myself there. So, getting myself to a first meeting is going to be the immediate hurdle.

 

Here's my new daily goal. Again, I will tweak until I get something that works:

 

1) write

2) errands

3) reel/photog -- 4 days a week on reel, 3 days on photog

 

+ social activity once a week -- I want to start out slow so I don't burn myself out. I want to build in another category at some point but I need to start simple.

 

I'll let y'all know how it goes!

Edited July 13, 2014 by tuxedo cat

[Eternal Sunshine]

Go tube cat

[tuxedo cat]

I had a good day.

 

I went to the first day of my new part time internship and helped run a crazy audition. At the end they told me I had been amazing and I could tell they meant it. I was on top of things, focused and organized. It's amazing how much the individual personality of an employer affects their attitude about your work. At my last internship I was basically told that I was useless by my catty bosses. Here I'm complimented for the very same traits that the other employers considered weaknesses for me--organization, memory.

 

I'm not saying I"m suddenly perfect--I still have huge areas for improvement but I think I'm more competent than I was giving myself credit for.

[tuxedo cat]

I'm stressing out so much right now.

 

I need to find work. I'm almost out of savings and I cannot ask my parents for help. My mother just informed me that they have so little money that they couldn't afford to eat dinner last night and her phone is being cut off.

 

I don't understand why it's so hard. I have a degree from a good university, I have a lot of experience, I'm intelligent and hard working. And I can't even get an interview for a simple entry level position in anything. I'm not even being picky.

 

[learning_slowly]

There's a lot of people going for jobs at the moment. Its a numbers game. You have to keep applying and doing specific cover letters. Good luck.

[tuxedo cat]

I had an interview today at a cafe and the woman who interviewed me seemed to really like me. I'm doing a two hour trial on Tuesday morning. So we'll see.

[tuxedo cat]

Had another decent day. I helped at another audition. Afterwards my supervisor mentioned that she was sure they would be hire me as a paid freelance assistant at the end of my internship (!). Of course there are no guarantees but I'm still hopeful.

 

I will be elated if this turns into a job, even if it's just freelance work. It's a start, right?

 

[cerridwen]

Had another decent day. I helped at another audition. Afterwards my supervisor mentioned that she was sure they would be hire me as a paid freelance assistant at the end of my internship (!). Of course there are no guarantees but I'm still hopeful.

 

I will be elated if this turns into a job, even if it's just freelance work. It's a start, right?

 

 

Right.

 

 

 

........

[tuxedo cat]

So I'm having a streak of bad luck again. I was just informed by the woman who runs the cafe where I was supposed to trial this week that she had to cancel because she just filled the position with an old barista who returned.

 

And then something sketchy happened at my internship.

 

The woman I'm interning for asked me last week if I could try to find a friend who would fill a vacant spot in an upcoming class she is teaching. That means I would need to find somebody willing to pay $119 to take a one day intensive class. My boss told me that this was a discounted rate for friends and family; the typical rate was $129.

 

At first I didn't think it was a big deal whether I found somebody or not but I got this really desperate sounding email from her a couple of days ago about how much they would appreciate it if I was able to find somebody because they are too busy working on projects to do it themselves.

 

I couldn't understand why it was so important. Do they really need the money that badly? Why does one empty space in the class make a huge difference? Something was just off.

 

Still, I felt all this pressure to find somebody because she had told me the other day that she was sure I would eventually become a freelance paid assistant. So I spent all this time looking--posting on facebook and twitter, asking friends if they knew anybody. Finally, I found a friend of a friend who was interested.

 

This girl forwarded me the email that my boss sent her. My boss asked for the full, non discounted price ($129). The girl ended up paying anyway. I didn't mention it to my boss but now I feel like they cannot be trusted.

 

I'm worried this is another situation where I'm being taken advantage of and I still have yet to land a single interview for anything no food related after applying to over 30-40 jobs over the course of a month.

 

Edited July 21, 2014 by tuxedo cat