mahks01 Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 i started going to kickboxing a little bit back as im a tiny bit out of shape well i developed a crush on my instructor Jennifer...shes gorgeous,funny,easy to get along with, kind, unjudgemental well a couple lessons in we get to talking ( actually the second one) and we literally shot the moon for 2 hours talking about anything and everything.. when she instructs she tends to gravitated near me doing the occasional hopping by me while flashing a smile at me.....all the while im thinking "shes so gorgeous...one day you gotta get her number make your move cody" well last week i asked her "hey would you like to get a coffee or a bite sometime?" she answered with "sure" i give her my number she dials it so i got her cell number....im really happy so the next day i send a text " would you like to get that coffee?".......no reply over the course of 2 days i sent 3 messages to her short to the point ones...i even leave a voicemail incase shes not getting the messages...nothing ok now its thursday shes teaching i get there we talk then she brings her friend to the opposite side of the gym...(shes also an instructor) and comes back mentioning a boy friend which is weird as before i got her number she was commenting on the fact that sh had 45 messages and i said "ah boyfriend?" she kinda chuckled saying "nope" in a real youre kidding me im single kind of way.... what should i do as shes amazing....i would like to have her as my better half im never rude to her im kind i hold the door for her...etc... if she had a boyfriend she was into why would she give me her number after agreeing to a lunch date? Link to post Share on other sites
firmness Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 She sensed something she did not like and is backing away. Let her go. If she wants you, she will chase you. If not, move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 Hmm. For whatever reason, she's not interested in coffee. It might have zero do with you personally, but she isn't reciprocating at the moment. She got your messages. Time to step back now. If she likes you, she will make it known. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mahks01 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Share Posted June 30, 2014 sorry to ask but what do you mean by your post expatinitaly? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 Sorry, she is not interested in you. You need to move on dude. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 sorry to ask but what do you mean by your post expatinitaly? She's not interested. If she is, she will let you know.. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 You were on the right track but then you became over eager. A total of 5 contacts in 3 days would make me back off too. The fact that you are already thinking about her as your "better half" means you are moving too fast & she senses that. You know very little about this woman other than her looks & her qualifications as a kickboxing instructor. That's the basis for a few dates, not jumping into "better halves". The combo probably betrayed you as desperate & clingy making her hesitant & uninterested. Power down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mahks01 Posted June 30, 2014 Author Share Posted June 30, 2014 (edited) Is there a chance to salvage it? To get her to think about me again? I really hope there is...I mean ive only started to think of her in thst way in the past few days...not since the beginning as I may have worded it I viewed her as a friend/possible girlfriend then and still do .....not thst thats a good thing I just hope I can recover it... Edited June 30, 2014 by mahks01 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Salvage what? You don't have any kind of relationship with her, and she is not interested in starting one. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Knock her down from that pedestal buddy, she's not interested in you. You can't salvage a ship that never even set sail, let alone sink. Have you considered switching gyms? Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie Harper Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 You were on the right track but then you became over eager. A total of 5 contacts in 3 days would make me back off too. The fact that you are already thinking about her as your "better half" means you are moving too fast & she senses that. You know very little about this woman other than her looks & her qualifications as a kickboxing instructor. That's the basis for a few dates, not jumping into "better halves". The combo probably betrayed you as desperate & clingy making her hesitant & uninterested. Power down. What is wrong with people these days? I mean who says sending texts is too much? Yes sending 33 texts in 3 hours is one thing but what if he sent 4 in 3 days, or 2 in 3 days? Who can sense that crap? In reality people have one problem HONESTY, I bet she could not say NO, and avoided an awkward moment, maybe she is with a boyfriend and was using our OP as a way of making someone else jealous? who Knows, the bottom line she is not INTERESTED and she gave confusing signals. Forget about this incident, A LOT OF PEOPLE do this kind of stupid high school drama, be honest, at first it will be terrible, because a lot of people can't handle rejection and truth..what is the alternative, stupid guessing games and deception... THINK ABOUT IT. Is there a chance to salvage it? To get her to think about me again? I just hope I can recover it... If you want to have her just be as confusing as her, but it doesn't mean that is going to take you anywhere in the long run... Salvage what? You don't have any kind of relationship with her, and she is not interested in starting one. 100% right. Don't waste your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mahks01 Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 What is wrong with people these days? I mean who says sending texts is too much? Yes sending 33 texts in 3 hours is one thing but what if he sent 4 in 3 days, or 2 in 3 days? Who can sense that crap? In reality people have one problem HONESTY, I bet she could not say NO, and avoided an awkward moment, maybe she is with a boyfriend and was using our OP as a way of making someone else jealous? who Knows, the bottom line she is not INTERESTED and she gave confusing signals. Forget about this incident, A LOT OF PEOPLE do this kind of stupid high school drama, be honest, at first it will be terrible, because a lot of people can't handle rejection and truth..what is the alternative, stupid guessing games and deception... THINK ABOUT IT. If you want to have her just be as confusing as her, but it doesn't mean that is going to take you anywhere in the long run... 100% right. Don't waste your time. Thanks Charlie for you poignant response I was under the impression that 50 texts in an hour was bad I didnt think 5 in 3 days was bad she said she recieved some of them as her phone is pretty messed up....ive seen it myself....she openly shares intersecting tidbits with me ...I mean shes there for me we chat endlessly when we can...she never blows me off...in conversation...she takes my advice about certain things to...ill suggest a song and shell listen to it...I mean an I wont pursue her but at the same time I wont completely cut her out as thats very inappropriate to do....its like 3rd grader ****....shes human so ill enjoy our conversations...who knows s hh e may end up splitting and I can wind up with her.....you never do know these things plus I never sent texts that seemed needy...just like "hey hows your day cant wait for class today...see you then"...the only tect I sent that wasn't professional was the day after she agreed to go out to a brunch/coffee meet with me was "hey would you like to go.....?" I meananythings possible those who say no are quitters you just have to use a different approach...I always think about the plus side and minus side... Link to post Share on other sites
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