feeling lost Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 I've known this guy for about 2 years but never really knew him until a couple of months ago when he really helped me with a problem. Since then we've got really close and now I regard him as a really good mate, he's always there when I need him and in recent weeks I've needed him a lot! I'm the sort of person that is really touchy-feely with my mates, I'll hold hands and hug them all but it doesn't go any further than that! However this friend that I've got really close to, has started to get a bit more friendly,we text each other all the time and I told him that I thought I was falling in love with him! We carried on as normal but after spending an afternoon together being 'close', we kissed, and I mean really kissed, but afterwards he said it shouldn't have happened and he doesn't want to hurt me etc. so I felt kinda rejected, got depressed, got drunk (story of my life) and got over it, and after a couple of days we were back to being normal and I thought that was that, But a week later we were messing around like we do, tickling each other and just being childish (we're only 16 what do you expect?!) but then he said that he wanted to tickle me somewhere he shouldn't, and I let him, he fingered me!But then he went really weird with me, so yet again I got depressed, got drunk and got over it and things went back to normal, but we talked and agreed we shouldn't let it happen again! And I really did think that was that, we stopped doing the normal stuff like holding hands and hugging etc and it was really weird.Then he started trying to hold my hand again and getting closer etc but i wouldn't let him and kept moving away, trying to let him know that I'm not up for getting hurt by him again! Then earlier this week we were just having normal conversation via text (haven't seen him all week) but I told him how I was feeling really low and it turned dirty and we ended up having text-sex. I've spoke to him twice since and he seems a bit distant again but he seems fine. But I'm not fine, I cant keep letting him cross the line, he's made his feelings known and he's not interested in me, but it keeps happening and it'll probably end up with actual sex and I know I'm gunna end up getting really hurt by him. My best friend knows all of this and she's worried that I'm going to get hurt and go back to being really depressed again. But I really don't know what to do about it! Help, Please. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 You need to take control of the situation. I'm sure he thinks you're a great friend, but he's a sixteen year old boy and he has sex on the brain. He will, if given the opportunity, engage in sex with you simply because his hormones are screaming that he should. While I don't think he has any intention of using you, which is probably why he's stopped several times, but he isn't really going to stop himself from doing something if you don't stop him. Sex will be sex and nothing more and it seems like all he wants from you is a friendship. Try being a little less touchy with this friend. Especially since he will probably have a hard time holding himself back if given the opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author feeling lost Posted February 17, 2005 Author Share Posted February 17, 2005 I've tried to take control but it ends up going further, we don't plan it, it just happens, and I think we both regret it afterwards but we are so comfortable with each other, it seems like he is the only person that doesn't judge me and I can say anything to him and he has a way of saying things that makes it seem so natural and I just can't say no! Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 He might just have a fear of commitment or something. Next time he gives you the 'i dont wanna hurt you line' tell him 'oh im the one whos gonna hurt you' and jump him ok ok, seriously he seems shy. Just stroke his ego a bit and tell him you will be alright, even that you like him. After some coaxing he will probably come out of his shell. You guys are pretty young. And girls usually mature faster than guys. I mean im pretty old and i think i still have the emotional age of a 12 year old Link to post Share on other sites
Author feeling lost Posted February 20, 2005 Author Share Posted February 20, 2005 I spoke to him last night because one of our mutual friends told me that he has done this before, and that apparently he gets girls to like him and then uses them. So I confronted him and asked him if that was it and he said that he doesnt get girls to like him, but hes really flattered when they do, but his track record is 'abysmal' because he gets nervous and pulls out but its not intentional! Then he went really off with me and when I asked him why he said that it really got to him when I said that he used me! He said he didnt mean to use me and that he feels really guilty because now he feels like he used me and really hurt me! Now I really dont know whats going on or what to do! Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 YOu know what. This is already becoming more trouble than its worth. If i had some hot chick that i like that liked me and i knew it, i'd be all over dat!! He dosnt know what he wants, so ditch him. Because fortuantely you do. You want a boyfriend. Not some confused boy. You are not mary poppins(cleaver english type referance....er i think i spelled referance wrong......) Its not your job to baby sit him till he feels comfortable enough to take it to the next level. You let him put his hand down your pants for F-sakes. If he cant figure that out ...........ok im gonna stop now before i rant. I vote no on this git. Link to post Share on other sites
Author feeling lost Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 wow, that is a great reference i have to say!! and you're probably right about the rest of it too!! thanks guys, you've given me some stuff to think about!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author feeling lost Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 I spoke to him today - just as friends, I haven't seen him in person for a week (half term) and I saw him today and I don't know why it could just be PMS (I get it bad) but I just really didn't fancy him! I've been doing some thinking over the last few days and after arguing with me best friend over him I decided that I'm not going to let this situation take over my life!! I don't know what is going on but I just didn't feel it like I did before! I have no idea whats going on, I still really like him but something has gone, I like him more as a mate now, we had a really weird conversation (for us anyway) there was nothing sexual about it at all, it was like we used to be before all this sh*t happened, and it felt right! dunno whats going on, any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Author feeling lost Posted February 22, 2005 Author Share Posted February 22, 2005 I feel so crap right now, it's unbelievable!! I really hate him at the minute, a group of us spent the afternoon together (no lessons) which included both me and him and some mutual friends that don't know what happened between us!! And he spent the entire afternoon all over someone else!!! I am so p*ssed off!! He didn't even speak to me, and we have been pretty normal together since everything, but he doesn't know that I don't like him like that anymore, and he's all over someone else (who I know he likes and he has told her that he 'loves' her) but she has a BF and isn't interested in this guy so WTF!!!! I really want to shout and scream at him right now and I'm normally a really calm, laid-back kinda person!! He tried to ring me earlier but I cut him off because otherwise I might say something I may regret!!! what do i do??? Link to post Share on other sites
clynn Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 i think you did a smart thing by not contacting him. The guy is definitely a dweeb. hitting on a girl with BF??!?!?!? That is a jerky thing to do! And right in front of you when he knows you like him!?!? Jerk, jerk, jerk. Forget the dweeb. Not even worth ragging him out in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author feeling lost Posted February 23, 2005 Author Share Posted February 23, 2005 I haven't spoken to him today, I don't even know if he was in school today!! and I don't really care!! I have been relatively happy today without him, which makes a HUGE change!! I'm just freaking out over school coursework and a presentation I have to give tomorrow - that I haven't actually written yet!!! but thats a whole new load of crap!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author feeling lost Posted February 26, 2005 Author Share Posted February 26, 2005 I told him I don't like him like that anymore and he didn't say anything, he just looked at me! so I left him to it and was being normal with everyone else! but I saw him looking at me a couple of times and he looked really down and like he wanted to cry! well I ignored it and carried on with everything and went to talk to him again when he was on his own in the computer room and we didnt mention any of this but we were talking about getting my nose pierced and he said that he didnt like the idea and didnt want me to get it done, so yesterday i got my nose pierced!! he hasnt seen it yet!! im just waiting for him to say something!! the whole thing with him looking at me like that has left me a bit confused though, do you think there is anything in it or am i just reading too much into it?? Link to post Share on other sites
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