Lulu1982 Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 So here is a little history. Its crazy trust me. Had a high school boyfriend for 4 years. We were each other's 1st everything and he was a total cheater the entire time and I knew it. He went into the armed forces after graduation and we just lost touch. Our best friends from school married each other so we have been both secretly keeping tabs on the other one for the last 30 years. Not in an obsessive way just a friendly way. Haven't seen each other since 1983. Fast forward 30 years and we run into each other at a coffee place. I am with my daughter and he is with his son (same ages) and we start conversing. The kids talk because they know quite a few of the same people. We hug goodbye and go our separate ways. That night I get a friend request from him. I look at the screen and know that clicking "confirm" is a bad idea. So I wait 3 days and give in. So stupid I think oh sure we are adults we can be friends no problem. Well was I WRONG. He texts me a few days later and wanted to know if I thought it was ok for his son to contact m daughter via facebook. I said absolutely not. Can you say creepy and inappropriate. What if the really liked eachother and got serious. NO WAY! So he and I start messaging on facebook and it seems very vanilla at first. Then we start meeting for coffee to comiserate about our bad marriages. I have never been even remotely unfaithful to my husband although our marriage is over and I an leaving as soon as my youngest kid graduates high school in 2 years. He confides in me that he hasn't been the best behaved husband and that he has seen the error of his ways and is now behaving himself. What a relief! Well I am sure you can all figure out what happened next. We both decided it was just physical and no feelings. Sounded like a good plan. We sneak around and lie for over a year then we get busted by my H. My husband tells his wife. He is a repeat offender and she keeps him once again as long as he "stops". My husband still wants me but I am done . We go NC for the next 5 months. Fast forward. I move out of my house and to an apartment and one morning i go to work and he is standing at my door. I cant talk so he says eh will come back that night to Talk. Of course i let him and the whole thing starts up again although I am now free to do what I want while he is still letting his wife think things are on the mend. Well today this is how things stand. I cut off all contact with him unannounced and the only way he can get in touch with me is to either call my work or show up at my door. I really started this thinking that I could play hard to get and he would come running. I am surprisingly not as upset and I thought I would be. I had to get out because I couldn't move forward with my life. He came to the door and I told him if he didn't leave me alone I would call his wife and tell her he is still pursuing me. I mean this. But he won't leave me alone. Should I pull the trigger and call her? I am 1000% seriously done. M Link to post Share on other sites
adna89 Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 I would call her,yeah.I would also call the police,because he is harassing you 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RegretfulAlways Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 YES YES YES YES YES YES YES (and agreed on the police/harrassment thing) Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 It sounds to me like you already know what you should do. In my experience, I have found that exposing an affair is for the purpose of stopping the behavior. It isn't proper to use as a method of punishment (or vengeance). If he continues to pursue you and not honor your request, what other leverage do you have to stop him? Have you decided that your own marriage cannot be salvaged? There is lots of help available if you and he decide to give it a try. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Yes, you gave him fair warning. If he ignores it you must follow through or he'll never believe it and continue to contact you. Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 He texts me a few days later and wanted to know if I thought it was ok for his son to contact m daughter via facebook. I said absolutely not. Can you say creepy and inappropriate. What if the really liked eachother and got serious. NO WAY! I'm sorry - this just hit me when I read it. You thought it was creepy and inappropriate for your kids to be in touch on facebook because 'what if they really like each other and get serious', yet you went ahead and befriended this married man (the boy's dad) on Facebook? Do you see any irony in that? I don't have any advice other than pointing that out - good luck to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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